Is TV a Turn Off?

I’ve been getting bossy lately. Last blog I told you to sit down. Now I’m suggesting you turn off your television more often! But I think I have some good reasons.

Some early experiences shaped my current perspective. In my high school sociology class, I studied the effects of TV watching on homework performance. My own research showed that the more television kids watched, the poorer their grades.  The less television kids watched, the better their homework scores.

I also recall my grandmother’s disdain for TV commercials and their silly claims. She went off on that subject during one memorable Thanksgiving dinner. I’m guessing some of her diatribe hit its mark.  Just last week I taught my kids how to shout at a ridiculous TV commercial, “That’s a lie!”

But much more than any “badness” of television, I react to what television steals because of what people don’t do as a result of watching it. Instead of games nights, camp outs, picnics, crazy pranks and stunts, kids watch TV or DVDs.  I grieve the loss of fun, camaraderie and memory making.  Do kids ever retell the story of a memorable night watching a DVD together?  Compare that with the exuberant recounting of a game of Capture the Flag that bonds kids for years.

My husband grew up in a family that didn’t own a television. Naturally, they loved sneaking a peak of this forbidden fruit at other kids’ homes.  But, because they didn’t have a tube, their memories are of evenings listening to their father’s recordings of bird sounds.  One brother made up stories and plays.  They spent tons of time playing outdoors. Interestingly, all six siblings are musicians, artists, writers, poets or a combination of the above.

We all know that television is not bad or good–it is a tool, and that is how I aspire to use it in our home. But I am an active consumer. I try to turn off or mute what is not supporting a healthy family culture.  I aggressively campaign for choosing real life activities over passive TV consumption.  Directing the family away from the TV is a fight I have to be in shape for because it takes energy to overcome inertia! TV watching is comfortable, entertaining and requires little effort, so I have to be willing to become less comfortable, willing to provide other entertainment options and willing to expend energy to counter its offerings.  This is always hard to do, but especially when I’m tired and don’t want to do anything else either. But it is always worth the courage and effort it takes to push my family up to the higher ground.  Not that I always succeed.

In order to use TV as my tool versus succumb to its influence, I have found it helpful to recognize a few truths: Kids become creative AFTER they get a bit bored, and they get creative more quickly if their alternative to boredom is chores.  There are times when TV is a perfect tool to use for my family—for example in the late afternoon when I’m fixing dinner.  Husbands often like TV more than wives. Respectful negotiation and flexibility helps, along with offering other specific ideas of what else the family might do together.

Coming up with alternatives to watching television can be challenging, especially if your family is coming off a TV addiction. It’s like trying to switch their dessert from ice cream to fruit. Cutting back slowly is better than a drastic change.  They need to discover how much more fun it is to do real things than to watch other people do things.  As you teach them a lifestyle that is not TV centered, they’ll eventually desire to live that way of their own free will.  And over time TV becomes a condiment in life versus a main course. Making sure that the TV is not in the main living room in the house is a physical picture of the reality you’re trying to create.

Kids naturally go for interesting alternatives to TV watching: a new pet, easy access to fun craft projects, a trampoline, a swing set, outdoor space like the woods or a park, interesting reading material, play dates with other kids, musical instruments, your time and attention, field trips, games, cooking projects, open-ended play items such as a puppet stage, pretend kitchen or hamburger stand. As you set new boundaries for television watching, you might want to include them in the brainstorming process. Consider using a big motivator: a trip to an indoor water park or new bikes after a month of cutting back TV hours.  (Research shows it takes 30 days to set a new habit.) It’s not realistic to expect them to replace television watching with nothing!  It will take them some time to relearn to entertain themselves.

I’ll admit I’m the TV police in our family.  It’s not a role I enjoy, but I’m passionate enough to fight for the creativity and rich life experiences that less TV watching gives my children.  I shoot for balance, but compared to American norms, I’m sure my point of view seems extreme.  That’s ok with me, because I want that creativity and richness not only for my family, but for yours too.   When your kids and mine are all grown up and shaping American culture for the next generation, I’d rather that they be influenced by something more profound than episodes of the latest sitcom.

Posted by Donna Detweiler, who promises to get off of her soap box in her next blog.  Well, maybe… ; )