“No” would be so much easier than “Yes”.

It’s 9:00 pm, and with the stove on, it is 80 degrees in the kitchen. We spent the day in the sun with Ga and Boppa and cousins picking lots of raspberries. I’ve got to get them frozen on cookie sheets or made into jam, because in-between the heat and their own weight, the berries are literally disintegrating. I’m tired, my feet hurt, and I’m hot.

It’s 9:10 pm, and apparently too hot to sleep, especially in pajamas. Natalie wanders into the kitchen and asks to help. “No” would be so much easier than “Yes”. “No” would mean less mess to clean up, fewer dirty bowls, and diminished opportunities to take my crankiness out on someone else.

But unless I make a concerted effort, “no” can jump to my lips so much faster than “yes”. Now, I’m not advocating saying yes to everything my children want. I am the Mommy, after all. They hear “no” far more than “yes” to more Lego, extra treats, later bedtime, smaller salad portions at dinner, and just one last turn on the Wii. (Unless they’ve worn me down to a nub before my backup gets home from work… but that’s another topic altogether!)

Before I say no, I have to ask myself this: “Am I just saying “no” because “yes” will inconvenience me?” So, I told Natalie to pull up a chair, gave her a potato masher, and showed her how to mash raspberries to a pulp.

Saying “no” would have meant missing out on making a sweet memory with Natalie.  My crankiness dissolved. Just look at the picture! Who could stay grumpy for long in the presence of a smiling companion like that? Sure, I could wax poetic about fine motor skill development, future jam-making practice, or kitchen training, but it was all about the sheer pleasure of time spent with my child. And that is what I want both of us to remember 20 years from now.

The raspberry splatters wiped off the walls and floor. (There actually weren’t as many as I feared.) The raspberry “container” (a box placed inside a clean garbage bag), was easily disposed of. By the time the berries were all mushed, she was tuckered and ready to be slipped into bed without protest.

So, while “no” prevents us from overindulging, keeps our children safe and healthy, and rescues us from losing our sanity, a balance of “yeses” is a good thing, too.

- posted by Miss Analiisa, who encourages you to say “yes” to one inconvenient thing this week.