I love the play set for Toys I Make, Trips I Take.  I know I always caution you in class not to open the play set in class or in the car….all those little pieces just begging to be lost or ripped by little fingers anxious to play with them. 

But, when you get home, I want you to punch out the play set pieces for your child and put them in a container that is easily accessed.  (The zipper pouch they come in is a great place to store the pieces, and the set background can go in their backpack.) The play set is a wonderful way for your child to re-create the story from class, and to create their own story variations.  

Your child’s play set is a doorway into a world of their own making. The play set opens to a universe that has been carefully crafted to encourage language development.

When your child gets the play set out and begins the process of acting out the characters, he is practicing communication skills. He is figuring out how people talk to each other and the play set allows him to do this with pretend characters, and to try out new words and ideas, without fear off mistakes or social errors with “real” people. 

Conversation is a complex process, and requires a great deal of practice.  Children need a safe place to figure out how to put words together to communicate an idea.  Pretend play gives children the necessary space for practicing. So, whether he is playing Super Heroes or house with his friends or playing alone with his Kindermusik play set, he is learning how to master the complexities of our language and the nuances of words. 

Children learn a great deal of what they need to know from conversing with adults, but they need these forays into the imaginary world for rehearsing what they’ve learned.

-posted by Miss Allison, who loves all the funny and clever and imaginative conversations your children have every week in class!

When I was four, I wanted a pair of white go-go boots. I pined for those boots for at least a year.  Sometime when I was five, my mom bought them for me.  I was in absolute heaven, and wore them everywhere. They were the only (at least that I remember) pair of “non-practical” pair of shoes she ever bought me.

As a mom, I’ve bought dozens of shoes in the past eleven years.  Being a veteran of 5 knee surgeries, 6 years of physical therapy and several pairs of custom-made orthotics, it’s important to me that my children’s shoes are well-made and well fit. (Give me the clothes on sale or from consignment stores!) Going to a high-quality shoe store doesn’t leave a lot of money for anything but “practical” on a relatively tight budget.

However, my third baby was a GIRL. And being a shoe lover myself, you can imagine what visions went through my head. When I went to Nordstrom, I was seriously disappointed in the girl’s shoes “cute factor”. So I did what any internet-savvy mom would do – went online.

I found the most adorable line of shoes (from Italy!) called “Jumpin Jacks” and went on a hunt for them. In the process I discovered The Shoe Zoo. The Shoe Zoo is by far my FAVORITE shoe store ever. They only carry shoes for children – from Vans to Geox, and See Kai Run to Stride Rite. And the prices – about the same as Nordstrom.

But the best thing of all – I’ve needed to buy far fewer pairs of shoes from The Shoe Zoo. The owners are so good at fitting my children (they’ll even make shoe suggestions based on the shape of their feet), that the shoes we buy fit longer than I was used to.

I’ve even gone intending to buy new shoes, and instead of taking the opportunity to sell me new ones, they’ve said, “These still fit. Come back in April.”

As for the Sparkly Red Shoes… Natalie had been eyeing them at The Shoe Zoo for about 2 years, and remembering my long-awaited impractical white go-go boots, I finally bought them. And the look on her face made it totally worth it.

But the thing I love? The owner of the store said, “Buy them a size big, and we’ll put special inserts in them for now to make them smaller, and then take them out when her foot grows. You’ll have the shoes longer that way.”

Wow! What great customer service.

-posted by a nostalgic Miss Analiisa, who recommends you to The Shoe Zoo, located at 2920 NE Blakely Street in Seattle. It’ll be worth the trip.

Ever lost something and then thought “Hmm… I wonder where I put that?”  Well, now you and your child can have fun looking for the misplaced items.  Just change the words of this Our Time Away We Go song and instead of finding frustration, you and your child will find laughter and a good time looking for things.  

For example, the other day I just couldn’t find my purse, so I started sing “Where oh where did I put my purse? Where oh where did I put my purse?”  All of sudden, I remembered that I’d left it in the car, and I happily went out there singing “Found it, found it, here is my purse!”  Luckily, not too many neighbors were home at the time and they all know what I do for a living, so when I break out into song it doesn’t really faze them!

I love hearing that my Our Time classes have already started to enjoy this game at home too!  Even on the first day of class, one mommy came running back into class saying that her child was jingling her keys as they were leaving! 

Singing with your child not only helps build self-confidence, but it is a wonderful way to bond as well.  Just as in story reading, singing directly exposes the singers to patterns of language, including rhythm, speech sounds, syntax and rhyme.

For your older child, try singing a song and allowing your child to fill in the blanks. (“Twinkle, twinkle, little ________”.)  By doing this, you are developing her sense of inner hearing as related to pitch and melody. 

Singing a song in your mind is akin to thinking up a story or making a plan without speaking out loud.  Remembering the sequence adds an additional level of complexity.  All these are vital life skills.

-posted by Miss Beth, who happily sings at any chance she gets…..including the grocery store when looking for the bread!

Remember my new-mom expectations I told you about yesterday?

As I gained experience, my expectations became more realistic and my confidence grew.  I even had a few memorable breakthroughs. One day, I was attending the hospital’s baby-parent class with other nervous new parents. I was trying in vain to keep my fussy infant happy while a seasoned mom answered our questions, her contented baby snoozing in her baby sling. I looked around, suddenly noticing there was not one mom under the age of 35 in that room. Where were they? I mused. Out enjoying their babies; not in here stressing about how to be a perfect parent came the answer. I left and never went back!

Is there any way for well-meaning, committed parents to fully escape the grasp of unrealistic expectations?  I honestly don’t know. The hounds of unrealistic expectations continue to nip at my heels to this day!  Perhaps it’s harder for those of us who tend naturally toward idealism.  We’re hard-wired to shoot high.

Nevertheless, I believe it is possible to temper expectations with truth. Try this exercise:

When you feel some disequilibrium, write out your expectations.
I should always know what to do.
I need uninterrupted sleep every night or I can’t have a good day.
I’m a better mom if I give birth naturally.
Good parents are never upset with their kids.

 The power of unrealistic expectations often lies in their hidden nature.  When we put light on them, whether on paper or talking with a friend, we see them more objectively. We often realize how ridiculous they are.

The next step is to rewrite realistic expectations:
I have plenty of time and resources to find out what to do.  There’s no rush or shame in that process.
I can be tired and have a good day.
My goal is to deliver a healthy baby.  It’s not really about me as a mother.
As a human being, I have permission to be human.  When I blow it, I can model to my kids how to ask for forgiveness, a life skill they will need to possess.

Expectations have a powerful influence on our parenting experience.  If we can get a handle on troublesome unrealistic expectations and replace them with realistic expectations, we’ll find lots of emotional energy diverted from stressing out to enjoying to the fullest the amazing gift of being a parent.  And that is a goal worthy of any idealist!

-posted by Donna Detweiler who was happy to ditch some of her silly expectations after seeing them on paper.

When my children were preschool age, I was overwhelmed more often than I care to admit!  Each day demanded lots of energy, flexibility and creativity.  On most days, I could hit two out of the three above.  But the insidious culprit that often stole my joy and peace was an invisible, powerful force called expectations.

Expectations are preconceived ideas about how something should or will happen.  When I visit the dentist, I expect some discomfort and I’m usually right. When I schedule a hair appointment, I expect Karin to be there and she usually is. 

Expectations can be realistic or unrealistic.  It is realistic to expect Karin and the dentist to be there.  If I knew Karin always ran late, I would either adjust my expectations or go somewhere else! 

Unrealistic expectations can be more troublesome.  I still remember going to the orthodontist at age 16, expecting this to be the long-awaited day he would remove my braces. I was sorely disappointed when they had to be on another 4 weeks.  No, I was spitting mad! When I got married, I expected my husband to wash all the family cars like my Dad did.  This too has proven to be an unrealistic expectation!

Whether our expectations are realistic or unrealistic, we experience disequilibrium when they go unmet.  Disequilibrium is a feeling of discomfort that can range from no big deal to mildly annoyed to full blown anger and frustration.  Our response to the disequilibrium depends on our personality, maturity and how invested we are in that expectation.

As a 30-something, later-married, post-professional career, new-stay-at-home mom, I was doomed to have high expectations from the start.  Over the years of waiting to be a parent, I’d developed a mental composite of the ideal parent I wanted to be.

To make matters worse, I’d been working with college students, a mostly babyless crowd for the past years.  I had way too much theory and way too little experience.  It was a perfect recipe for disequilibrium.  And boy, did it come when I finally had my own real baby in my arms.

Here was my new-mom list:
I expected to be able to nurse effortlessly.
I expected to get sleep.
I expected to have a magic touch when he cried.
I expected to be calm and confident all of the time.
I didn’t expect to feel lonely.
I didn’t expect to feel so afraid to make a mistake.
I didn’t expect to feel so much pressure to make his life wonderful.

I suspect these might sound familiar to a few of you.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who encourages you to write down your parenting expectations before you read the rest of the story tomorrow.

It’s Our Time to drive in our cars
It’s Our Time to play the jingle bells
It’s Our Time to snuggle together

Every time children and caregivers in Our Time come into the classroom, they are greeted with their peers and a fun activity at Gathering Time. Maybe it’s puzzles, blocks, or builders. When the teacher sings the toys away, the children know that when the sticks come out, it’s time to sing hello. They’ll get to tap, thunk, scrape, click, and roll hello to each other. Then they’ll sing about their day with the bars, bounce on their grown-ups laps, play instruments, dance, and in my classes, we always end with a snuggle.

This is a part of a routine that children learn and look forward to every week. But why do we work so hard in Kindermusik to build this routine?

 In short, optimal learning for a child happens in a classroom where he feels most comfortable. Think back to one of your best educational experiences. It could be a wacky funny teacher you had in high school, or a fun environment at work with people you enjoy being with.  Do you remember how comfortable it felt to be in that place on a regular basis? How much did you learn when you were there? 

For me, it was my course at UW in early childhood social/emotional behavior. Every time I walked into that classroom, I was greeted warmly by my professor, Gail Joseph, and was delighted to see what sort of snacks she brought for us. It was “food for thought”. J I always knew what to expect and that made me feel comfortable and happy to be there. Looking back on that experience, I realized that I retained more from that class than almost any other at UW. And now I use what I learned there in my professional life every day.

In Our Time, children develop this same comfort when they learn a good sense of self-esteem from the familiarity of their environment.  They know that after the sticks are put away, they get out the bars. When the bars come out, the teacher sings to them what will happen in class. The best part is, when we sing about cars, jingle bells, and snuggling, we actually do those activities in class. That may sound like a simple concept, but try and think about all those checklists you’ve made, either mental or on paper, and how good it feels to check those items off when you complete them. Children get to make their checklist when they sing with the bars every day in Our Time.

You may have your own way of building a routine at home with your child. Maybe you both sit down at breakfast and go over what will happen in your day. Maybe you and your child draw a picture together to go over the fun things you did. The more ways you can discuss and recap a routine with your child, the better.  Not only does this bring them immense joy and self-esteem to know that their expectations are being fulfilled, but it helps them to build memory retention.

 Quite often, a toddler will look out the window and see that it’s raining. Then they’ll go outside, feel the rain, and go back in and say “Mommy, I need a coat.” She won’t see the rain and connect that she needs a coat right away until she builds a temporal sense of cause and effect. Routines are one of the best ways to build this skill.

This developing sense of routine is one of the many reasons why Kindermusik is so beneficial for a child’s development. And it’s important to provide for our children a consistent learning environment. In fact, some children are still developing their sense of the classroom routine in the second or third semester.  So every day when you come in with your child and bounce, sing, dance, and play, know that it is just another vital component to your child’s learning.

-posted by Teacher Aaron, who looks forward to his routine everyday!