Studio3Music Blog

Archive for the ‘Child Development’ Category

May
18

Feeling Like a Failure

Yesterday, I felt like a complete, utter, failure. I’ve got a sensory child, and I’m also a home schooling mom of three. People often ask me how I do it, and to be perfectly honest, sometimes I wonder, too. Most days, I look (at least I think I do – please don’t crush my delusion) put together on the outside, but like teachers everywhere, there are days when we go, “Did they actually learn anything?”

Back several months. Rob had just finished vision therapy, which for us, was the missing piece of our sensory journey. We’d already done occupational therapy, physical therapy, water therapy, seen a sensory motor specialist, and finished speech therapy. At this point, you can meet Rob and you wouldn’t know he’s a sensory kid. I thought the rest of this schooling year would sort of be an all-come-together year. So much for my plan.

Do I have to post a picture relevant to this post? Just my dimpled Rob turning 10. Oh wait! Our grammar chant charts are on the wall. Grammar = homeschooling = relevant. It works.

Yesterday, I was doing Singapore Math with Rob. And suddenly, he looked at me and said, “I don’t remember how to divide.” Three weeks ago his violin playing took a huge leap backward. His biggest complaint was that (and I quote), “I can’t keep all the information straight in my head.” I’m having lots of trouble getting punctuation rules to stick in his brain, too.

I’ve noticed over the last couple of months that all he wants to do is PLAY. With his friends. And read. For hours. This from the kid who a year ago couldn’t read for more than 15 minutes without his eyes getting tired. That doesn’t mean, of course, that he doesn’t do school. He does. He likes grammar and history and anatomy and physiology especially.

But yesterday, I kept thinking, “How could we get this far and do division all the time, and suddenly, you can’t do it?” It seemed to appear so out of the blue, that I thought that perhaps I just had my head in the clouds and wasn’t paying attention and finally noticed what was going on. Where had I missed the signs?

So I emailed Jesikah, who used to be my assistant, and now bears the more lofty title of Director of Operations. She’s my email therapist, sometimes, too. (She’s also the mother of Rob’s best friends.)

I wrote –

He’s so struggled in some areas at school this year – it’s not a cognitive thing. His brain has just had difficulty processing all the information now flowing in (thanks to vision therapy). However, I feel like I’ve failed him somehow this year. We haven’t accomplished as much as we’ve needed to.

And then I got back the most amazing response –

The Montessori teacher told me recently that some years the children really pour themselves into academics, and some years their social/emotional development needs are so much that it is a distraction against academics and not much is accomplished there…but social/emotional needs are more important than academics – it is what makes us good husbands/wives, parents, friends, siblings, good students and even employees… At the end of one’s life, we always want to be better spouses, better parents, better friends…we never regret that we weren’t as academic as we could have been. Children have a knack for catching up academically, too.

You have not failed Rob. Perhaps, this is a growing year for him socially/emotionally, which is why school is so hard for him. Those other needs are more important at the moment, even if he is incapable of expressing those sentiments.

Thank you, Jesikah. The fact that as a fourth grader, Rob’s brain has felt the need to do something else for his development (rather than what I want it to do), is perfectly okay. So we’ll do a little math this summer, and practice writing a few friendly letters.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who wants to tell discouraged parents and teachers everywhere that it’ll be okay. Because it will. Even if you have to pull out of the violin recital at the last minute.There will be another one.

Tags: brain, learning, Miss Analiisa, parenting, sensory child

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Apr
6

Life With a Tornado

Posted in Child Development, Family

My niece Macie turns one year in a month. Right now, she’s at that annoying stage where she sits in her high chair, looks you straight in the eye, gives a cheeky grin, and drops her cup onto the floor.

My sister finds it annoying. I find it hilarious. Of course, I’ve been-there done-that three times, and it’s been five years since one of mine played that game. Because I’m the auntie, I can call it cute and be glad I’m no longer scraping food off the walls.

What this all means is that 11 month old Macie has moved from the this-is-all-about-picking-things-up stage, to the what-will-happen-if-I, what-does-it-feel-like, what-noise-does-it-make stage.

But let’s back up a moment. I’ve got to get you caught up. These fine motor skills began at about 2 to 4 months of age, when she inaccurately swiped at objects. Sometime after 3 months, she could hold small objects in her hand, and within a couple of months, could transfer those objects between her hands. Between 5 and 9 months Macie could first rake at objects with her whole hand to pick them up, and then moved on to picking up small objects using her thumb and index finger. We call this a pincer grasp.

She’ll use this grasp to string beads, close a Ziploc bag, color, hold her glockenspiel mallets in Kindermusik Young Child, build Lego creations, and cut with scissors.

As Macie’s grasp became more precise, she explored objects by moving, twisting, turning and shaking them. Now at almost a year, she’s just about ready for my favorite classic of baby toys – the Tupperware shape sorter, which combines the rotating, moving and flipping skills she learned earlier, which a little cognitive thinking.

When she first learned to sit, Macie would prop herself up on one arm, and explore her playthings with one hand and her mouth. As she learned sit without help, both hands became free to be used to answer her questions about the shape, texture, size, hardness, and weight of objects. She’s using her mouth less (though a lot of children remain really oral for a couple of years, and that’s perfectly okay).

Which brings us back to the cup throwing. And the banging, shaking, squeezing, tapping, twisting and flinging. Is my sister annoyed? You betcha. Her living room floor currently looks like a tornado hit it. So does Macie’s room. And the dining room. And sometimes even the bathroom. (And even the hallway, which occasionally gets mummified by an unwound roll of toilet paper.

But rather than get angry when our babes make a mess, keep this in mind: You already know what a balloon does when you kick it, what noise a cup makes when you throw it, just how fast you can unwind toilet paper (and how long it is!), how scratchy brush bristles feel on your skin – but your little one doesn’t. Someone, long ago, let you taste, touch, feel and manipulate objects. And then helped you learn how to pick up your tornado.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who suggests you make an ever-changing sensory box filled with varied objects like a sponge, a wooden spoon, a rock, a piece of sandpaper, a feather duster, and egg shaker, a pan lid, a real flower, a jingle bell stick and a stuffed animal for you to explore together.

Tags: babies, learning, Miss Analiisa, physical development, toddlers

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Mar
31

Bad handwriting – just laziness?

Posted in Child Development, Education

Dysgraphia is a form of learning disorder which affects how kids write—more accurately, don’t write. These kids avoid writing like the plague. When forced, it’s a struggle. Often gifted students, they are labeled lazy or messy because of the extreme amount of time it takes them to produce next to nothing—and that’s not even talking about legibility. When reasonable kids are given reasonable training and still don’t want to write, dysgraphia may be the reason!

For a long time, dysgraphia wasn’t a recognized learning issue. Just read a few of the comments on any of the websites listed at the bottom and you’ll quickly see what I mean. You’ll hear from adults who struggled through school and only later in life discovered they weren’t stupid or lazy. Good-hearted parents who have tried to decode the mystery of their smart non-writer lament and rejoice in the helpful diagnosis. Guilt-smothered parents who berated their kids for not doing what they couldn’t are out there too, guaranteed. It’s time for dysgraphia to come into the light.

The diagnosis for dysgraphia is, as with many learning disabilities, somewhat inexact. A “cluster of symptoms” identifies it. Here is a sampling of the list from Wikipedia: Dysgraphia: Signs and Symptoms:

Cramping of fingers while writing short entries
Odd wrist, arm, body, or paper orientations such as creating an L shape with your arm
Excessive erasures
Mixed upper case and lower case letters
Inconsistent form and size of letters, or unfinished letters
Misuse of lines and margins
Inefficient speed of copying
Inattentiveness over details when writing
Frequent need of verbal cues
Referring heavily on vision to write
Poor legibility
Handwriting abilities that may interfere with spelling and written composition
Having a hard time translating ideas to writing, sometimes using the wrong words altogether
May feel pain while writing

Writing is a complex set of motor and information processing skills. Breakdowns can occur on several levels. Three identified subtypes are: Dyslexic & Spatial which are brain-based issues. Motor which is caused by fine motor problems.

Dyslexic: Children’s spontaneous writing is illegible. Copy work is fairly good, but spelling is bad. Not thought to be fine motor based problem.

Spatial: Illegible spontaneous writing and copy work, but normal spelling. Not thought to be fine motor based.

Motor: Fine motor skills are deficient. They have poor dexterity, weak muscle tone or clumsiness. Writing requires extreme effort and an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish. Writing is poor, often illegible. They have difficulty drawing. Their oral spelling is normal. Often they hold their pencil in an awkward manner.

The bright side of a diagnosis of dysgraphia may well be the emotional relief and redirection of correction in a positive direction. Stress was listed as a main negative side effect of the disorder. Can you imagine the frustration of not being able move a thought from head to hand to paper? Assigning correct meaning helps the patient and parent know how to proceed.

Intervention for dysgraphia is better when started younger. Dianne Craft, an expert in treating “learning glitches” as she calls them, has a website and treatment program for a variety of learning disabilities affecting children, including dysgraphia. Exercises include retraining the brain through copy work and gross motor activities. She identifies dysgraphia as the most common learning block of gifted children and offers many resources for helping children move beyond the disability.

When therapy is given the college try and is clearly not helping, “accommodation” is recommended. Helping children live with dysgraphia often includes teaching cursive as it can be easier letter formation than printing. Early keyboard training can help diminish frustration, however giving up on handwriting is not recommended. Public schools are able or sometime required to offer diagnosed children therapy or appropriate classroom help, such as a keyboard, or note-taker or alternate testing methods.

Check out these websites for more information:

ncld.org: National Center for Learning Disabilities

Nototherwisespecified.typepad.com: Sara Gardner’s blog (mother of a child with dysgraphia)

Diannecraft.org: Expert in treating childhood learning “glitches.”

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who hopes that this blog will get some frustrated children the help they need to succeed.

Tags: Donna Detweiler, learning, physical development

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Mar
29

Rituals and Routines and Morning Tea

Posted in Child Development, Family

A couple of days ago, I woke up late and had to rush out the door. My husband kindly offered to make me my usual cup of tea. (He’s the coffee drinker, me – Stash Double Bergamot Earl Grey with stevia and half and half, thank you very much.) I was horrified at the thought of having to chug my tea down before I left, so I declined.

You see, my morning tea is supposed to be sipped slowly while sitting at the dining room table reading the celebrity gossip, err… news on my iPad. No rushing allowed. Without my tea, I was seriously out of sorts all morning long. (And it wasn’t the lack of caffeine; I only have one cup.)

If you’re not a morning beverage have-to drinker, perhaps you’ve sat down to watch your favorite TV show, and discovered it was on hiatus? Bet you turned into cranky pants. We grown-ups grow accustomed to our routines and rituals, and it can be aggravating and unsettling to be jolted out of them!

We’re born with a need for routine and ritual. Predictability is important to an infant, a toddler, a pre-schooler, a jr. higher, and adults. We like to know what comes next. It brings us comfort and security and makes us feel like we are in control of our circumstances.

Routines are the tasks or chores we regularly do. They are the typical or everyday activities that have little afterthought. Your workplace has a typical routine. (Think about what you do in your job, or what are the normal procedures you follow without really thinking about them.) I do laundry on Fridays, always lock the door when I leave the house, and start with long tones when I practice my Euphonium.

Your children need routines, too. In Kindermusik, we always start with the hello song and end with the goodbye song. Routines in the classroom allow children to feel safe and secure, and then learning can happen naturally.
Routines help babies solidify their eating and sleeping patters; routine transitions and rituals help preschoolers feel in control, and knowing what to expect enables them to act independently.

There is an interesting difference between routines and rituals. According to Stedman’s Medical Dictionary, a ritual is a detailed act or series of acts carried out by an individual to relieve anxiety or to forestall the development of anxiety.

That makes perfect sense. My morning tea ritual gives me a moment of peace before I enter the hectic pace of my day. It grounds me. The routine of the hello and goodbye song in a Kindermusik class becomes a ritual when we sing the same song each week. The familiarity and consistency of these songs lets the children know what’s coming, and so they eagerly ready themselves for fun and learning.

Rituals and routines shape a child’s behavior and development in a stable, secure and loving manner. Think bath time, cleanup time, bed time, family nights, Sunday morning waffles, summer vacations to the lake. There is no shortage of research to suggest that routines and rituals are vitally important to the well-being and positive mental health of any child.

We can never underestimate the affect of the emotional imprint of loving routines and rituals in a child’s life, and the positive feelings they evoke in years to come. There is no shortage of research to suggest that routines and rituals are vitally important to the well-being and positive mental health of any child. What are some of your favorite memories of childhood? They likely involve a ritual or routine, which you may have repeated with your own family.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who now knows that her morning cup of tea is not really about the caffeine; it emotionally prepares her to face the day. So, drink up!

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tags: babies, kindermusik, learning, Miss Analiisa, parenting, preschoolers, toddlers

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Mar
21

Understanding Your Child (Boring title, important idea.)

Posted in Child Development, Education, Family, parenting

I’ll be right up front and tell you that tell you that I don’t pretend to understand your children. Seriously, I have three of my own. All complete opposites. I have enough to do, thank you very much, without worrying about your kids.

Don’t believe that? Okay. Truth be told – I’m a teacher through and through. I strive to appreciate every child I work with, and if you ask me about your child, (as some of you have), I’m happy to give you my observations. I really do want you help you be successful in the art of parenting.

I can also share what I’ve learned about how to really get to know them. And why would you want to get to know them? Besides the obvious fact that you like your children, of course! Your children are born with unique personalities, skills, gifts, talents, learning styles, and characteristics. It’s our job as parents to support our children as they mature.

Understanding your child will assist you to guiding them as they grow. For instance, knowing your child’s learning style (In order to understand concepts, do they need to see it, hear it, or do it?) will tell you how to help them with learning to read, tell time, or grasp their addition facts.

Children arrive with some prewiring. I don’t mean that they can’t change and grow, but they aren’t blank slates, either. How my 3 children behaved in utero was how they acted after they arrived on the outside. One was a poker – he’s 13 and he still “pokes” at me verbally if he wants my attention. One was a roller – I looked like a pregnant Sigourney Weaver from the movie Alien. He still is a whole body mover. He needs to move to learn. He moves when things get emotionally difficult to deal with. He rolls on the floor a few times in the middle of a particularly intense violin lesson, and then gets up and is ready to work again. My two boys will always be pokers and rollers.

The best way to understand your children is to simply observe them. Playing, working, sleeping, eating. What are the character traits that continually show themselves? Are they introverted or extroverted? What are their favorite activities? Those things are your child’s “normal”. Most of the time, your child’s “normal” is perfectly okay. And you need to be okay with it, too.

You don’t like going to the zoo every weekend, but your daughter begs, rain or shine? Think about what clues that gives you. Nurture that love of nature. If you don’t want to go to the zoo again, find new museums, take a field trip to the vet’s office, check out library books about reptiles for your visual learner. Get a pet for your “doer” to take care of.

Want to get to know someone? Ask a lot of questions! So, ask your child open-ended questions. (Those questions that require more than a yes or no answer.) Instead of asking your child who they played with in school, ask them what they played.

Miss Allison (a great observer of children) gave me some more ideas to pass along to you:

When you read a book to them ask them what their favorite part was… who their favorite character was…

Have a verbal child tell you a story. You’ll discover a lot about what they think about, and feel, are scared of… wishing for…

Watch how they play with small pretend play manipulatives: people toys (like action figures and Polly Pocket type things) and anthropomorphized animal toys, too, plastic animals or dinosaurs, small stuffed animals. Large motor pretend play is usually done with other children, but small motor pretend play is often done alone, so you only see what your child is interested in rather than what they are willing to compromise on.

Pay attention to the skill sets that confuse them or make them frustrated. Those activities are pointing you toward the areas the child isn’t as comfortable with, may be stuck with, or toward personality traits such as perfectionist, or short tempered.

Make a point of playing with your child in different areas of development. Do a puzzle one day, take a nature hike the next. Ride bikes, or work on pedaling, build with blocks, color and do a craft, sing a song, tell a story so that you can see where your child is gifted, where they struggle and most importantly, where they are growing and where they are not growing.

With lots of observation and interaction, you’ll have the knowledge of what tools and toys to provide, to assist them in reaching their next level of maturity.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who sees so many of her sister’s and mother’s traits in her daughter that it’s more than a bit freaky.

Image: Naypong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net