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Archive for the ‘parenting’ Category

Apr
18

My New Hero the Turtle

Posted in Bits and Pieces, Family, parenting

The fable about the tortoise and the hare is mind-numbingly familiar. We all heard it growing up. Has a cocky hare sprinted across your memory yet? We all know this story by heart, but have we ever recognized the profound truth hiding in the familiarity of this little tale?

Many of us sprint through life like the hare. We have things to do, do, do!  We dash off, frantic to get stuff done—thinking that by this method we will eventually cross whatever finish line we hold in mind.  When we begin to lose momentum, we fuel up mid-stream with a double shot of whatever and take off again, only to eventually nap under some short-of-the-finish line-tree.  The next morning we paw at the starting line and BANG!  Off we go again.

Let me translate this into real life. I’m a hare.  I’m eager and ready to dash out into the world each morning.  The results? My kids have an active life. Besides home schooling, we have horseback riding lessons, drama class, piano lessons, choir, writing co-op, gym class, and worship team.  Field trips are sprinkled in when something irresistible crops up like the maple syrup making, state capital day and civil war reenactment. No two days are alike as we hop, hop, hop around the extra-curricular landscape.

Then the turtle comes into view. Quite simply, the turtle represents getting to someplace specific. (In other words – the finish line.) As the hare dashes around and arguably has more fun, enjoys his natural talent and sees more of the countryside, he doesn’t accomplish the ultimate goal, which is important at times!

My discovery: When I want to teach my children a set of specific skills or work on a character issue, the turtle has the right moves.   My hare-like nature has been surprised to watch this principle work out.  When my daughter was struggling with long division, it became apparent she hadn’t mastered her math facts. Discouraged, I dashed down several fix-it roads, considering changing curriculum mid-stream. But then the turtle came into view.  I began to simply work with her for 5-10 minutes every day. I watched amazed as she progressed.  Slow and steady wins the race.

I began to apply this to other areas of my children’s lives. With achievement testing approaching, I felt certain we needed extra preparation. Bounding down the path of several complex history curricula, I quickly tired. Then the turtle came into view. I found a simple summary of what 5th graders should know about history and I began to read to her every day for 10 minutes, asking comprehension questions as a review. Hardly thinking that 10 minutes was worth it, I watched in amazement as she made steady progress. With that success, I began to plot a daily course for character issues needing attention:  doing basic chores without complaint, talking kindly to siblings.  Slow and steady wins the race.

Who knew the deep truth the simple fable of The Tortoise and the Hare has been hiding all these years!  My new hero the Tortoise has shown me how to succeed where I so often have failed. A little every day gets one a long way over time. Slow and steady does win the race.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who knows that yes, hares also have their redeeming qualities, but that’s another blog!

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Apr
16

The Recipe for Learning Success

Posted in Education, parenting, Things to do

I started reading the Little House on the Prairie series to Natalie a couple of months ago. (She’s 6, and unlike my boys, totally enraptured by Laura’s story.)  She was shocked to learn that on Sundays, Laura had to sit still and play quietly or read. Natalie tried it, and lasted about 7 minutes.

We just got to the part in On the Banks of Plum Creek where Laura and Mary go to school for the first time. This time, Natalie was dumbfounded that Laura would have been slapped on the hands “many times” with a ruler if she had wiggled, swung her legs, or talked during school.

What a difference a 120 years makes! I’m so glad we live in a time where we know so much more about the brain, and how learning and moving go hand in hand.

Carla Hannaford (award winning author and eductor) writes, “Movement is essential to learning. Movement integrates and anchors new information into our neural networks. Every time we move in an organized…manner, full brain activation and integration occurs, and the door to learning opens.”

Combine movement, which fully activates the brain, and creates and strengthens neural networks, with music, which is the only activity that simultaneously stimulates every area of the brain, and you have a recipe for successful learning.

As a home schooling mom, here’s some things that we’ve done that combine music (or the components of music like rhythm and meter) that assist in learning. (You don’t have to home school to do these things. You are your child’s first and most important teacher!)

While singing learning songs or poems and chants, we have a small indoor trampoline for jumping on. (Trampolines are also great for getting up a taking a break. Jumping really seems to make the just inputted information stick in brains better.)

My children all sit on exercise balls. I’ve noticed that when new or more difficult concepts are being learned, their ability to sit still decreases. All that electrical energy in their brain is going towards creating new or stronger neural pathways.  An exercise ball allows them to have the movement they need, without being distracting, so that brain energy is spent focusing on learning, rather than using that brain power to sit quietly.  Another option is to put a balance disk on a chair and have them sit on that.

When learning to spell difficult words or skip count (counting by 2’s, 3’s, 5’s, etc.), we get up and bounce a ball back and forth, taking turns counting or giving the next letter in a word. The kids love it, and they learn faster and better.

Playing background music is great, too. One suggestion – during homework or school time, the best music to listen to has no words.

Be sure to give your children plenty of get up and play breaks to rest and refocus eyes, and allow the brain to process everything they just learned. Otherwise, the information really will be in one ear and out the other.

How do you integrate music, movement and learning into your family’s life or classroom?

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who loves that music not only helps shape growing minds, but transforms the heart and soul as well.

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Apr
14

Dreaming for Your Child

Posted in Bits and Pieces, Family, parenting

When do you start having hopes and dreams for your children? I know that a lot of women (and men) will answer this question by saying “from the moment we conceived”.  But I have to answer this question with kind of a shoulder shrug. I can honestly say that up until about a month ago, I had no dreams for my little guy (he’s almost 8 months). Of course I have the big ones, like I hope he’s polite and gentlemanly and I just know he’s going to be cute! But I’m talking about discovering talents and how are they going to be creative and what kind of person are they going to be.

I was sitting in a class of Jr. Highers when I started thinking about dreams. An adult couple had brought in some examples of things they meant a lot to them. One was made by one of his sons who was about 11 years old. This particular item was a little figurine that was made out of household stuff; pipe cleaners, toilet paper rolls, googly eyeballs, felt and a hot glue gun. The figurine was skating on a skateboard and had shoes and hair and everything. I was totally impressed!

I could tell that a lot of man-hours had been put into this craft.  After getting over the initial awe, there were two things that struck me most. First, it was how the dad was talking about his son. He was so proud of what his son created by himself, with just time and things around the house.  It was really neat to see this dad speak aloud what made him proud!

The second thing that hit my core was how the son (who was in the group), was excited to share his creation with his peers.  He was not embarrassed in the least to show off his piece of work.

I grew up with a lot of shame in me. I was often embarrassed about what I was good at or not good at. I never had a problem with standing up in front of a ton of people and singing a solo, but put me in a small group and I was mortified by what people would think of me. I’m a people pleaser and that sometimes gets the best of me. It’s only been in recent years I will ‘own’ who I am. I’m learning to not be ashamed of what my interests are and I am free to share that with people instead of keeping it in.

So, how does this relate to dreams? Well, knowing where I have come from, I know that I want my son to be proud of who he is. Watching this 11 year old be so proud of what he created is what I want my son to have.  Putting myself as a peer to this 11 year old, I would have totally thought that he was weird; as an adult, this is what I so admire about this kid! He stuck to his guns when sharing his creation amongst his peers and had no shame or embarrassment about what he’d done. There was an innocence that surrounded him. THIS is what I want for my son!

It wasn’t until this meeting that I really started dreaming for Miles. Whether it is music, art, math, or science, it’s going to be from him and it’s going to be great! I am so excited to see what he will become and I know that I will be a proud mama when he shares with the world who he is!

I’d like to end on a quote I read not to long ago. I saw it on Pinterest and it’s really stuck with me. In the corner of the quote there is a picture of a mother cradling her baby… The mother says, “I plan to give you love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to make you funny.”

I know that I’m not going to be the perfect mom and I’m going to make mistakes. I’m human. I need to be able to give myself grace in this parenting process. I also know that my child will not be the best at everything J But what I will strive to do is to love and support my son in whatever dreams he may have.

-posted by Miss Anna, who hopes her son will discover this world through a child’s eye, always.

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Mar
21

Understanding Your Child (Boring title, important idea.)

Posted in Child Development, Education, Family, parenting

I’ll be right up front and tell you that tell you that I don’t pretend to understand your children. Seriously, I have three of my own. All complete opposites. I have enough to do, thank you very much, without worrying about your kids.

Don’t believe that? Okay. Truth be told – I’m a teacher through and through. I strive to appreciate every child I work with, and if you ask me about your child, (as some of you have), I’m happy to give you my observations. I really do want you help you be successful in the art of parenting.

I can also share what I’ve learned about how to really get to know them. And why would you want to get to know them? Besides the obvious fact that you like your children, of course! Your children are born with unique personalities, skills, gifts, talents, learning styles, and characteristics. It’s our job as parents to support our children as they mature.

Understanding your child will assist you to guiding them as they grow. For instance, knowing your child’s learning style (In order to understand concepts, do they need to see it, hear it, or do it?) will tell you how to help them with learning to read, tell time, or grasp their addition facts.

Children arrive with some prewiring. I don’t mean that they can’t change and grow, but they aren’t blank slates, either. How my 3 children behaved in utero was how they acted after they arrived on the outside. One was a poker – he’s 13 and he still “pokes” at me verbally if he wants my attention. One was a roller – I looked like a pregnant Sigourney Weaver from the movie Alien. He still is a whole body mover. He needs to move to learn. He moves when things get emotionally difficult to deal with. He rolls on the floor a few times in the middle of a particularly intense violin lesson, and then gets up and is ready to work again. My two boys will always be pokers and rollers.

The best way to understand your children is to simply observe them. Playing, working, sleeping, eating. What are the character traits that continually show themselves? Are they introverted or extroverted? What are their favorite activities? Those things are your child’s “normal”. Most of the time, your child’s “normal” is perfectly okay. And you need to be okay with it, too.

You don’t like going to the zoo every weekend, but your daughter begs, rain or shine? Think about what clues that gives you. Nurture that love of nature. If you don’t want to go to the zoo again, find new museums, take a field trip to the vet’s office, check out library books about reptiles for your visual learner. Get a pet for your “doer” to take care of.

Want to get to know someone? Ask a lot of questions! So, ask your child open-ended questions. (Those questions that require more than a yes or no answer.) Instead of asking your child who they played with in school, ask them what they played.

Miss Allison (a great observer of children) gave me some more ideas to pass along to you:

When you read a book to them ask them what their favorite part was… who their favorite character was…

Have a verbal child tell you a story. You’ll discover a lot about what they think about, and feel, are scared of… wishing for…

Watch how they play with small pretend play manipulatives: people toys (like action figures and Polly Pocket type things) and anthropomorphized animal toys, too, plastic animals or dinosaurs, small stuffed animals. Large motor pretend play is usually done with other children, but small motor pretend play is often done alone, so you only see what your child is interested in rather than what they are willing to compromise on.

Pay attention to the skill sets that confuse them or make them frustrated. Those activities are pointing you toward the areas the child isn’t as comfortable with, may be stuck with, or toward personality traits such as perfectionist, or short tempered.

Make a point of playing with your child in different areas of development. Do a puzzle one day, take a nature hike the next. Ride bikes, or work on pedaling, build with blocks, color and do a craft, sing a song, tell a story so that you can see where your child is gifted, where they struggle and most importantly, where they are growing and where they are not growing.

With lots of observation and interaction, you’ll have the knowledge of what tools and toys to provide, to assist them in reaching their next level of maturity.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who sees so many of her sister’s and mother’s traits in her daughter that it’s more than a bit freaky.

Image: Naypong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Feb
16

Major Milestones

Posted in Bits and Pieces, Family, parenting

So I thought I was done with most of the big milestones in my son’s life.  I still remember the first day Tyler laughed, those first steps, and his first big sentence. He was spitting on the ground, so I said “Ty-Ty, what are you doing?” and he answered “Ty-Ty spit just like Uncle Sebbie do it.”  Oh, my brother was so busted that day!

That first day of school was also a great big one!  Whether it was preschool, kindergarten, middle school, or high school, those first days all stand out in my mind.  I know that later, there will be some other big milestones like graduation, college, marriage and grandkids, but I was thinking that was all down the road a bit.

My two mustangs when I was growing up!

Well, imagine my surprise when I took him last month to his first day of driver’s training.  Wow!  That was another big milestone and I was not expecting it!  Practicing driving with Tyler has renewed my patience and understanding.  I very lucky that he has also been a cautious kid, so we aren’t talking about massive speeding or screeching around any corners.

He also has shown an interest in my car that I had when I was 16.  My dad gave me his ’64 ½ Mustang.  It is a beautiful car and I had a great time driving it.  But for now I think air bags, and shoulder seatbelts, AND seatbelts in the back are just a little more important than a teenage boy driving around a V8!

My point? Treasure all the milestones in your child’s life.  It goes by so quickly!

-posted by Miss Beth, who is more than happy to have a new chauffeur in the house!

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