We all know that opposites attract!

Did you know that children learn concepts best in opposites? It’s why in your Kindermusik class, you’ll learn fast/slow, smooth/bumpy, high/low, among many other pairs. It’s why in school, addition and subtraction are taught back to back. It’s why when you begin to drive, your teacher makes sure you know where both the brake and the gas pedals are!

Learning opposites enhances vocabulary and word association, encourages sensory and motor development, develops discrimination and classification skills, and provides plenty of opportunity for fun games. The farther apart the opposite (black and white, hard and soft), the easier it is for children to master the concept. When you add an interactive approach, this learning becomes highly enjoyable.

Here’s a few “opposite” activities:

When doing these, be sure to label the opposite words. (It’s pretty easy to forget to do that, as we adults already know the vocabulary!)

• Try tasting some opposite things like sweet sugar and sour lemon.
• Sort round cans and square boxes when putting away the groceries.
• Music is full of opposites. Put on your favorite piece of Kindermusik (or music with pitch or tempo variation), and move high and low, or fast and slow.
• Sing a song silly! (High and then low, or fast and then slow.)
• Move. Go and stop. Take big steps, and little steps. Go under, go over.
• Open and shut the doors. Or cupboards. Cause seriously, if they don’t learn both opening and shutting in a pair now, your fridge is going to constantly be left open when they are a bit older!
• Identify back or front. Left or right. Short and tall. Boy or girl. Young or old. Dirty or clean. Empty or full.
• Feel the objects around you. Hard or soft? Rough or smooth? Hot or cold?
• Read some opposite books, and talk about what you see. Here’s some favorites: Dinosaur Roar, by Paul and Henrietta Stickland. Big Dog, Little Dog, by P.D. Eastman. The Foot Book, by Dr. Seuss.

Even babies learn opposites. Talk to your baby as you go throughout the day, and emphasize the opposite words with your vocal inflection. “I’m going to pick you up.” “We are going down the stairs.”

Really, the possibilities are endless. Just have fun with it!

-posted by Miss Analiisa, whose two oldest children are oil and water.

In my last blog, “I Like Me! – part 1,” I discussed how important healthy self-esteem is to a child’s development.  Good self-esteem is an essential component of their future success and satisfaction in life.  As parents, we can intentionally contribute to the positive development of their self-esteem.

Laura Beck, author of Development through the Lifespan, suggests five ways to foster healthy self-esteem in children: 

1. Build a positive relationship–Put aside your agenda at times to give 100% of your attention to your child. Listen.  Share some of your thoughts and feelings. When an adult listens to a child, (s)he feels valued.

2.  Nurture success—Try to have appropriate expectations for your child’s performance and assist them when a task is beyond their capability.  Praise the child for specific accomplishments and display their artwork and other projects, pointing out increasing skill.

3. Foster freedom to choose—Kids love to have a say. Give them appropriate opportunities to make decisions, but be careful.  Too many choices easily overwhelm a young child.  Our current parenting culture actually errs more on the side of giving children too many choices.  Strive for balance here.

4. Acknowledge the child’s emotions—Boy, did I blow this one last week when my son was mad that his team lost in basketball. Instead of affirming his good effort and giving him sympathy and comfort, allowing him to feel the disappointment, I essentially scolded him for expressing his negative feeling. If I could do it over, I would “teach” on handling negative emotions after allowing him to experience my acceptance.

5.  Use a rational approach to discipline–Yelling or unpredictable outbursts in response to problematic behavior in our children is a problematic behavior in itself.  Unpleasant emotional behavior in the parent causes the child to experience fear or anger instead of being able to deal with the situation.  Reasonable discipline keeps the focus on the behavior and promotes self-control and self-confidence in the child.  This happens when the parent uses self-control and self-confidence in the dealing with the problem.  This is easier said than done when our emotions get involved.  I’m always seeking to improve in this area.

Children with good self-esteem are on the road to a productive, satisfying life.  Self-esteem provides them with a valuable resource to handle inevitable difficulties that come along.  They believe they can handle the challenges that life brings. They don’t turn in on themselves in insecurity and self-condemnation, but depend on themselves and others in a healthy way as they function in a fulfilling social context.

-posted by Donna Detweiler who is grateful for parents who modeled a healthy self-esteem.  As the saying goes, “more is caught than taught!”

I threw in the proverbial towel.  My children looked at me with wide eyes wanting to know why mommy suddenly quit.  I started to realize how foolish my declaration sounded, so in a calmer voice I informed my kids that mommy simply needed a time out.  Again, the looks. 

My oldest finally asked, “What did you do?”  I had no idea what he was asking.  “I’m not sure I understand you, sweetie.  Can you ask me in a different way”?  His younger brother looked at him as if the wisdom of the world rested on his seven year old shoulders.  “I mean, why are you in trouble?  We get time outs when we make bad choices.  What did you do?” 

I was upset that I had spent the entire day cleaning my house, rearing my children and then topped it off by making a pleasing meal only to have nothing to show for at the end of the day.  For a minute I was yearning for the old life, the life where I was on top and in control and not at the whim of three little ones. 

As soon as I had the bathroom clean and moved on to my next task my five year old had the sudden thought that finger painting on the mirror with toothpaste would be a grand use of time and exploration.  He also followed me around all day negotiating all the boundary lines I had put into place. 

My 18 month old daughter found a green crayon that had rolled underneath the couch and decided to do her version of a Van Gogh on our slider window.  I discovered her when coming out of the laundry room looking at me sheepishly with green shavings around her mouth.  We won’t even go there!

My oldest spilled milk all over our carpet in the dining room while pouring a glass (more like a tableful!)   I spent the rest of the evening dealing with children who refused to eat a perfectly good dinner but at the same time didn’t want to go to bed hungry.  Oh, I could not wait for them to go to bed!

 My son’s question made me realize that I was focusing on the accomplishment, needing to see immediate results in order to justify what I do each day. Somehow I got into a place where I needed instant gratification in order to feel like a good mother and wife.  I did not feel like I had done anything but battle since I woke up. 

My mom use to always tell me that what I feel is real, it is indeed my reality but is not always based on truth and that in fact, the two rarely get along with each other.  As always, my mom’s words of wisdom were so right. 

Although I felt I did not accomplish anything, the truth is I accomplish more in one day than what I can immediately see.  I shape, form and fasten the characters of three precious children each and every day.  They do not realize this now, but one day they will.  My children are currently a raw resource in the process of becoming a grand piece of art and I am the artist.       

- posted by Miss Jesikah, who is still trying to figure out what makes crayons so tasty and dinner yucky!

By the time I was in Junior High, my chores included cleaning, laundry (and ironing!), milking the goats, hauling wood for the fireplace, working in the garden, and cooking full meals for my family. Can you tell I grew up in a rural area?

As much as I really didn’t like all those chores, what I was really learning were life skills. Good life skills are what enabled me to move to New York City on my own at 18 and survive.  (Though I admit that the time I got on the wrong train and ended up at Flatbush Avenue instead of the Upper East Side and didn’t get mugged or worse was luck, though it was life skills that told me NOT to get off the train!)

My children have it way easier than I did (though I’m positive every parent says that). We live in the city (so nothing to milk), we have a house cleaner who comes once a week, and I rarely iron, let alone make my children do so.

As my oldest just turned 11, and is on the cusp of adolescence, I knew I had to really start thinking about the process of parenting with the goal of letting him go.  His frontal lobe (and therefore his ability to make decisions taking into account all the long-term consequences) won’t be fully developed until he is 25, but he’s going to be ready to fly the nest long before then. (I hope!)

Although I can’t control his brain maturity, I can help him to develop life skills – aka “chores”. As I made a list of the skills he should master, it was overwhelmingly long. So, I decided to pick 4 this year, working alongside him until he’s competent, and only then adding another.

Below I’ve made a list of some life skills that every child should know, divided by age range. It’s by no means exhaustive, but meant to be a jumping off point for you. As well, keep in mind that every child develops at a different rate, and yours may be able to master some skills earlier and some later. And that’s perfectly normal.

Toddlers
How to pick up toys
How to wash hands
How to get dressed
How to come when called
How to “freeze” when told to stop
How to make a bed in the morning

Preschoolers
How to set the table
How to stir and mix, how to cut with a blunt knife
How to take sheets off the bed
How to put sort dirty and clean laundry
How to put clean clothing away
How to take on and off shoes and coat (buttons, zipper, Velcro)
How to fold towels and washcloths

Early Elementary
How to take care of a pet
How to clean the bathroom
How to answer a phone call
How to put away clean dishes
How to help put groceries and the bags away
How to clear the table and rinse the dishes
How to write a thank you note

Mid-Late Elementary
How to load the dishwasher
How to do laundry
How to fold clothes
How to vacuum
How to change sheets on a bed
How to prepare simple recipes
How to sew on a button or mend a small tear

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who can truthfully say that she had to walk to the school bus in the snow UPHILL both ways!

In this blog, I want to focus on the Home Activity booklet.  Kindermusik is meant to be a 24/7 kind of program, not just a weekly 45 minutes of musical fun. In order to help you (the parents and caregivers) Kindermusik International provides you with the tools you need to continue the classroom experience at home.  The primary resource is your Home Activity Book.

I see you experienced Kindermusik grown-ups shaking your heads and saying “Oh, no Miss Allison, the CD is the primary resource for at home play”.  But I really mean it- the book is the base for making your child’s 45 minutes of fun into a week-long foray into the world of learning, with music as your guide.

Sharing Time at the end of class is just a teeny tiny glimpse into the Imagine That World. The book gives you tools and ideas for extending the child’s classroom experiences, for adapting the activities to suit your child at home, and ideas to will round out your child’s developmental experience, and enrich their learning.

On the very first page of the Home Activity Book you will find a large graph that has 6 icons of childhood development – physical, cognitive, emotional, language social and emotional.  The icons point out what area the primary area of development particular activity is all about. (We all have these same basic needs, and we spend a majority of our time working toward getting these needs met.)

Each week has an activity that has been designed to guide and extend the overall learning goals of the semester.  You’ll also find that each of the activities has a Foundation Of Learning Statement.   These are the little gems of developmental information I am continually peppering you with during sharing time, but presented in writing for you to absorb in a quiet, and more reasonable atmosphere than the hustle and bustle that is our time together at the end of class.

Here are some of my favorite activities:

Lesson 2: Listen to the drums- add movement to this one and dance your hearts out to The Rainbow Dance, Not Quite KouKou and Ta-Ra-Ra Doomdeeay!

Lesson 3: Make an instrument- a shaker a drum a blitzenblogbumbeeboo…. Do bring this one to your teacher- we want to see it! (Especially if it’s a blitzenblogbumbeeboo)

Lesson 5: Make a boat- sail it in the nearest pond- take a picture and show it to your teacher.  If your boat survives her maiden voyage we’d like to see her, too.

Lesson 9: Make a map of our journey- or a journey you’ve been on.  (Just a note- this activity is focused on a map of a train journey, and I am pretty sure we will still be at sea when week nine comes around.  So don’t fret if your child insists there is not a train in class- we are just not there yet- and boats need maps, too- they just call them charts instead of maps)

Lesson 12: Rhyming nonsense words.  This activity goes with Tippity Tippty Too, the very cute book that we will read in class.  Wait until we’ve read the book in sharing time to do this activity with your child. But don’t wait to do rhyming words- especially those of you with four year olds!  Re-write The Ants Go Marching, or Down By The Bay, and rhyme yourself silly.

Lesson 13: Make an animal mask.  Your teacher wants to see this one, too.  But we won’t use it in class, so you can do it anytime your child is particularly non-human.  You may need to do it more than once… and don’t limit yourself to animals.  My son- the one who was a bat/eagle/velociraptor for years and years- now claims to be an alien….

Lesson 14: Story telling.  This is an incredible opportunity to make language come alive for your child.

I actually like many of the weekly activities in this book, so don’t let it languish on the shelf.  And don’t forget the words and the music for all the songs are in the back, and there are suggestions of things to do there as well.  And mostly- take time to play with your child, to sing and to dance and make fun things.

-posted by Miss Allison, who says that you’ll never forget the wonderful times you have together, or regret the time spent making play meaningful.

During the preschool years, physical growth occurs at an amazing rate. Equally impressive is the growth of an invisible aspect of the child; his or her self-concept.

Self-Concept is defined by Laura Beck, author of Development through the Lifespan, as the attributes, abilities, attitudes and values that an individual believes define who he or she is.  At age 3-5, a preschooler’s budding self-concept is very concrete, which is consistent with most aspects of their thinking.  In other words, because the part of the brain responsible for abstract thinking is not yet fully developed, a child only has capacity to deal with what can be experienced with their senses.

Try this experiment:  Ask a 3-5 year old to tell you about himself or herself. According to researchers, the child will tell you about “observable characteristics” such as:

Name:  “I’m Sarah.”
Appearance:  “I have a pink dress with a flower on it.  See?”
Possessions:  “I got Pretty Pony for Christmas!”
Everyday Behaviors:  “I can help wash the car with Daddy.”

As a matter of fact, the preschooler’s self-concept is so intertwined with concrete possessions that defending territory is paramount to defending life. The familiar cry, “Mine!” flows from this developmental stage in which the child feels I-am-my-stuff.

It is interesting to note that that the stronger the child’s self-definition, the more possessive he or she appears to be.  It can be postulated that a child that appears less selfish has not yet developed as strong a sense of self as the “grabber.”

It is a healthy and normal state of affairs when a preschool child begins to clarify the boundary between self and others. Think about this: only when there is a sense of self can children begin to cooperate in playing games.  “I’ll be the mommy.  You be the brother.”  “I’ll drive the truck. You drive the train.” They begin to solve problems together and figure out rules for enjoyable play that requires sharing and compromise. When the inevitable war of the wills arises, the wise parent will affirm the developing self-concept while resolving conflict:

“Yes, that’s your toy, but in a little while, you can give someone else a turn.”

Next time you watch preschoolers at play, have fun looking for these markers of a developing self-concept:

• Concrete descriptions related to self
• Asserting rights to objects
• The beginning of social organization in make-believe play

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who thinks learning to decode children’s behavior makes parenting more interesting!