Is there something wrong with my child, or is this normal?

As promised, here’s the start of our story of our sensory-child, Rob. But we have to begin with my oldest, Nathan.  Nathan was just-turned-three when Rob was born. Nathan was a high-needs baby (though I didn’t realize it until years later), who wanted to be carried all the time, napped for only 20 minutes at a time until he was 9 months old, and never got the hang of independent play.

Nathan didn’t really talk until he was 26 months old. Then he began to speak in paragraphs. I’m not kidding. At 2 ½ he was discussing the purpose of umbilical cords with full medical terminology with my OB. Seriously. By the time he was three we were told he had a 10,000 word vocabulary. A typical 3 year old has 200 to 300 words.

There were days (many of them!) where being Nathan’s mommy left me totally exhausted. Lawrence Kutner, a well-known child psychologist said, “The fundamental job of a toddler is to rule the universe.” I swear that if we had let Nathan onto the internet, he would have located at least a small country to run.

Rob at just turned three.

Everything was different about Rob. It was a relatively easy, 5 hour delivery (no drugs!), his Apgar scores were 9 and 10, he was absolutely gorgeous, he slept well, ate well (though he did have a clear preference for all foods crunchy – though more about that later), and was so content and easy-going.

He said his first words, “Jack cat”, at 9 months, exactly as Nathan did. His first sentence at 11 months was “I love you”. To the cat. Exactly as Nathan did. And then we had some more words, but that was about it.

Rob was my happy go-lucky little boy who played well on his own, didn’t fuss a lot, and was pleasantly quiet to drive with in the car. He charmed and flirted his way into many people’s hearts. But by the time he was 2 ½, I realized that although I could understand him, other people couldn’t. But I figured that was “normal” 2 ½, not “Nathan-normal” 2 ½. Rob and Nathan were already like oil and water (they still are!), so I thought that maybe Nathan was just an “advanced” orator, and Rob was simply a typical child.

You know how when you are at the grocery store or bookstore, people start asking your young children questions like, “What is your name?” “How old are you?” Well, by the time he was three, people were asking Rob those questions. And although I knew he knew the answers, he couldn’t tell them. Rob NEVER liked to perform on cue. So was this just “normal Rob”?

There were times when he spoke long complicated, entirely understandable sentences. And many other times we could just understand the first and last words. And other times he simply pointed to what he wanted.  I began to look around for a well-recommended speech and language pathologist to have him evaluated.

Shortly after that, I was confronted by several people who said that they were going to hold an “intervention”. Because Rob had “every sign of autism”. These were people who had not spent a lot of time with Rob. I was angry. I was furious. My heart was deeply hurt. How dare someone label my child? I knew they meant well, but I was still mad. And I just knew Rob wasn’t autistic. (And dragging up all those emotions 5 years later is really, really hard. Which is why I’ve been writing this post for the last week…)

But what was going on? Was there something really wrong? Deep down inside my Mommy heart, I knew the answer.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who says that if you miss a blog installment of this story, she’s got them tagged as “sensory children”.