Managing Morning Madness – Schedules vs. Routines

Welcome back!  If you’ve missed parts 1 and 2 of this ongoing blog, we’ve been talking about ideas for managing your mornings.  We’ve looked at how to get out of the house easier and some breakfast tips.  Today we’ll take a look at schedules, routines and letting go (also called delegating).

Have a routine but not a schedule.
I learned this important difference from a website called Homemaking with TEACH.   Lorrie Flem, the founder of the site, has numerous books and audios on managing your home and family.  One of her ebooks talks about the difference between a schedule and a routine.  Learning this lightened my load tremendously.  A schedule is time-driven, like this:

8:00 – eat breakfast
8:20 – do breakfast dishes
8:30 – get dressed and brush teeth
8:45 – read a book
9:00 -  etc, etc.

A routine looks like this: we get up in the morning, eat breakfast. Then we do the dishes.  Next we get dressed and brush our teeth.  Then we sit and read a book…you get the idea. It’s not clock-driven.  Lorrie, the mother of eight, shares that until kids are approximately seven years old, they really  need routine more than schedule.   When I realized that my schedule was what was causing me stress, I was able to relax a little more. Most days having a “routine” instead of a schedule works.

Of course, there are still days (like Kindermusik mornings) that you have to be somewhere by a particular time, so you need to have a rough idea of how much time you need each morning to do certain tasks.  When you have a time you need to leave the house, that’s when you can implement some of the other tips I’ve listed in written about in this blog series (keep things in one spot, have a breakfast plan, etc).  Make protein breakfast bars or on-the-go granola for a simple grab-and-go breakfast.  Don’t plan pancakes for the days you need to leave the house at a particular time and so forth.

When selecting things to do (when creating your schedule), keep your stage of life in mind.  If you have a toddler who still naps, don’t make plans for 10:30 when your toddler usually naps at 11:00.  But do try to keep your routine as consistent as possible.  It’s only for a short time and your child will be happier for it.

Here's Adrienne; I think you don't need further explanation!

Teach kids to handle what they can; let things go.
Allow your kids to participate in your morning routine to the best of their ability. My daughter was dressing herself at 18 months (sounds unbelievable but it’s true). She could do her own tights before she was two.  Her clothes never matched, but it was one less thing I had to do in the morning, so I let it go.

I’m not saying not to make your kids clothes match: if matching clothes is important to you, then that’s not the task to “let go.” But weigh the options: if you can let it go, go for it.  After all, three year olds in mismatched clothes are seen as cute and adorable!

Other examples of tasks you could delegate would be: have an older child be responsible for putting a younger sibling’s coat and/or shoes on.  Teach your children how to make their beds when the get up in the morning.  Kids, especially toddlers and preschoolers, love to be involved in Mommy Work.  Take advantage of this.

Have your four year old set the table for breakfast.  Have a six year old make the toast.  Teach a three year old (even some two year olds) how to unload the dishwasher.  You get the idea. Remember that your kids are far more capable than you realize they are.  They want responsibility and will be eager to join with you.

Take the time to train them (training implies that you show them repeatedly and have them practice repeatedly until they are competent).  One thing I do with my kids when teaching a new skill is a seven-day training program.  When they are old enough for a task, I work with them for an entire week on the chore.  For example, around 3-1/2 they are old enough to wipe the bathroom sink after brushing their teeth.  Take a few days to do it for them, having them watch.  Then have them do it for a few days while you watch. Coach and encourage and praise them while they do it.  After a week of doing this together, you will probably be able to walk away from this task!

Your child might not do the task as well as you would (remember Adrienne’s mismatched clothes), but the freedom of having a task delegated out can make your mornings so much less chaotic!

-posted by Donna Venning, who wishes mismatched clothes at any age could be seen as cute and adorable, but sadly, knows that’s not the case.