The Wonder Weeks

My friend Melissa has a little boy who is about 8 months old. One of the things that I love about Melissa is that she is such a conscientious mom. She does a great job of seeking to learn everything she can about Jackson’s development. I also love that she emails me questions, which means I get to learn new things, too.

A while ago she emailed and asked me about a book called The Wonder Weeks, by Hetty Vanderijt and Frans Plooij, both PhDs, who wrote this book based on 35 years of study.

What Vanderijt and Plooij discovered was that in the first 14 months of life, there are 8 major developmental leaps that happen for every baby. These are “mental growth spurts” – sudden and rapid changes in the brain. The leaps may be accompanied by physical progress, but these leaps are really about the brain.

Just before the developmental leap (the part you can see), the authors discovered that every baby went through a fussy period, characterized by clinginess, crankiness and crying. And these fussies happen to all babies within a week or two of 5, 8, 12, 19, 26, 37, 46 and 55 weeks. (There are several more, including 64 and 75 weeks).

Jackson, who is in a drooling phase, not a fussy phase right now!

Why do the fussies come?
The change in your baby’s brain alters the way she perceives the world. It’s pretty overwhelming and comes as a shock to your little one, (the authors liken it to going to sleep and waking up on a different planet) and this necessitates acquiring an additional set of skills for interacting in this new world.

But this different worldview brought on by the “mental grow spurt” allows your baby to learn the more advanced skills that belong to this new world, so really, it all works together.

Now, back to your cranky, fussy baby. It should help you know that “this too shall pass” (at least the crankies associated with this brain leap).

What can you do to help?
Stop and think. Is this teething? Is he getting sick? If not, then keep watching. Are there things she is doing (or trying to do), that she’s never done before? Are you near one of the noted fussy phases? Pay attention to your instincts. They are usually correct.

 When one of these big brain changes occurs, the authors note that your baby will go through these steps: 

1. A need to cling to mommy. Your baby is saying, “I am freaked out. Everything feels strange and different. I need the comfort and security of my mom.” And remember, since until 16-18 months a baby does not have a separate identity from mom, he really wants mom, not dad.
2. A need to play and learn new skills with mommy. “I’m eager to try some new stuff. Can you help me learn?”
3. A need to play on my own. “I’m ready to practice it by myself.”

What I really like about The Wonder Weeks is that for each phase, you’ll learn what new skills are associated with each week, the specific fussy signs (trouble sleeping, sudden shyness, loss of appetite, refusing to have diapers changed), how the leap may affect you, how your baby’s new skills emerge, and what you can do to help. (This will help with step #2 above.)

The idea of wonder weeks totally fascinates me. When my middle son Rob was in Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy and Physical Therapy (yes, all at the same time), I noticed that whenever he was about to make a developmental leap, whether physical or language development, he’d start wetting the bed. And when he started learning to read, when he’d get to a particularly difficult part, he’s start squirming. The same thing held true just before he would suddenly acquire a whole new set of fine motor skills.

I asked his therapist what was going on. She said that his brain had to work so hard at acquiring the skill, that it didn’t have enough energy left over to control his body. Understanding what was going on inside of Rob helped me to be a lot more patient and less frustrated with him. Which helped me to be a better mom, and give Rob the space he needed to have his brain growth spurt.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who wishes that she had owned a copy of The Wonder Weeks years ago.