Why Do “Imagine That!” Preschoolers Come to Class By Themselves?

Part 1:  Who’s in Charge of My Actions?

I’m frequently asked why Imagine That! is a drop-off class instead of a mommy-and-me class like Our Time and Village.   One of the main answers relates to confusion with authority figures.

In the last year, I have come to a deeper understanding of how preschoolers handle authority figures.  And what was it that brought me to this deeper understanding you may ask? Our new classroom!

The Old Solid Door
For years, I taught behind closed doors.  For those of you who remember our old classroom at Mills Music, the door to my classroom was solid and there were no windows from the hall.  So, when I shut the door after the last mommy left, I was the only adult in sight and the only adult in charge.  The children seamlessly transferred their need for a grown-up authority figure from you to me, and we played and sang and learned, and in general had a marvelous time.

The Sharing Time Mystery
However, as soon as I opened that solid door and brought you all back into the class for sharing time, everything changed.  Well, to be honest, fell apart.  I can’t tell you many times during Sharing Time I’ve said, “They’re not like this during class.  I promise!”  They were completely in-sync with me during class.  Of course, we had the occasional disaster class where nothing went the way I intended, but I was always the one in charge until the door opened up and you came back.
For years, this perplexed me.  I wrote it off to the change in the class structure and excitement about moms coming back.  But, now I know the real truth.  The smooth glass of Redmond Town Center has enlightened me.

The Authority Lesson I Learned from A Glass Door
Now, when you step through the gate and into the lobby at kissing time the children can SEE you.  They know you are there.  As long as you are in view and visible to the child, I don’t have any authority.  Mom trumps teacher, every time. As long as you’re around, I’m not in charge.  Of course, you think I’m in charge because I’m the teacher, and they think you’re in charge because you’re the mom.  But what I’ve discovered is that as long as we are both there, NO ONE IS IN CHARGE!

The pre-school age child is not socially adept enough yet to distinguish between two different kinds of authority figures at the same time.  It confuses them to have both of us around and they don’t quite know how to handle it.  Consequently, they don’t know who to listen to or who to follow.  When you are still in sight, even if you are not participating, or even watching, the child still perceives you to be in charge of them, not me.  This gives them a huge amount of latitude in their behavior, by the way.

The “Is My Child Always so Bad?” Question
I’ve occasionally had a mom come up to me after a class that she’s “watched” and say, “Is my child always so bad” and the answer is no.  When you are gone, I am in charge, and they listen to me, follow instructions, participate, share their ideas, and build relationships with their peers.  But, when there is confusion for them in the leadership role, they have a hard time transferring to the class atmosphere.  They don’t connect as easily to the other children or the activities or the story.  And we don’t have as much fun or learn as much either. They need that clearly defined structure to engage in the curriculum.

-posted by Miss Allison, who is amazed at what preschoolers can do when they have clear leadership and know who to follow. She knows it’s hard to leave if you see your child having a “naughty-monkey moment.”  But never fear, “naughty monkeys” are more easily tamed as soon as you are out of sight.