Studio3Music Blog

Posts Tagged ‘babies’

Jul
1

Exploring Mother-Child Attachment

Posted in Child Development, Life with Kids, parenting

My daughter is 11 years old this year. As we head into the teen years, I’m looking at her with new eyes. Change is on the horizon as my little girl’s brain develops and her world widens. I see sprouts of a healthy push for independence. I want to be sure that our relationship stays strong and healthy as we go through the next growing up phase together.

I find myself looking back to her baby years. How has our mother-daughter bond developed? What is the strength of our bond? Is there a way to make it better? How is our communication? Do we enjoy being together?

Not entirely satisfied with my answers, (and/or having a bout of mommy-anxiety), I’ve been looking into how that bond develops.

Dr. John Bowlby, an English psychiatrist who died in 1990, is the father of attachment theory. The bottom line of his theory is that in a healthy bond, the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. This attachment comes as the baby’s needs are expressed and met in a satisfying way.

Bowlby was interested in what happened when an infant’s needs were neglected in a prolonged manner. Not surprisingly, his work showed that extreme neglect is often a reliable predictor of pathological personality disorder. He concluded that how children are nurtured can shape their future.

Dr. William Sears, 73, is a pediatrician and preeminent advocate of Attachment Parenting, an outflow of attachment theory. Parents who practice attachment parenting would likely value breast feeding, avoid corporal punishment, and welcome co-sleeping to give a few examples. Attachment parenting suggests that children whose emotional and physical needs are met in the context of close, loving relationships with parents have a foundation for becoming secure and healthier adults. In attachment parenting, the child’s needs are attended to closely around the clock.

Attachment parenting has its critics. They would say that it is good, but goes overboard: meeting a child’s every need 24/7 is not only exhausting to parents, diminishing their effectiveness, and creating over-dependent children.

Looking into parent attachment theory has reminded me that discerning what is the best approach to creating a strong bond with my daughter is such an individual affair. As I think about how I parented her from birth, I recall the struggle to navigate the many parenting theories. I struggled to be certain I was doing the right things for her then as I do now. Often we were just trying to survive during those grueling sleep-deprived first months. But I gave it my imperfect best shot–that I know.

As I’ve thought about how to strengthen my bond with my daughter this week, I’ve learned a lot and come full circle. I’ve been reminded of our unique journey together. I’ve rediscovered that there are many different parenting theories to be considered and wisdom to be gleaned from them all. The answer lies in choosing what seems to be best for my unique mother-child relationship and pressing forward confidently. The ongoing challenge for me is to move forward in faith that my heartfelt best efforts will bless my child and draw us close, even if my best is imperfect.

And I’ve worked on our relationship. You know… the simple things; listening, smiling, kindness, thoughtfulness, caring about her interests. And guess what… it’s been a great mother-daughter week!

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who found that researching attachment theory was a confidence building, worthwhile exercise.

Tags: babies, Donna Detweiler, parenting

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Jun
27

ix-Nay the aby-Bay alk-Tay

Posted in Child Development, parenting

When first thinking of this post, I wasn’t sure if I, in good conscience, could write about this one without confessing, up front, that I not only have used baby talk, but still cherish some of the baby-talk words that my kids used in early language development. Who can resist repeating and affirming the request for the “Ba-ba” AKA, the bottle. Or the many baby words that follow for “outside” or “dump truck” or “pretty?” My son named his cherished sleeping blanket, “Geekie.” He was trying to say, “get it!” when he would throw it out of the crib and yell for me to come in and “get it” for him, but it came out, “geekie” and we reinforced it and thus, the blanket is still referred to by all as “Geekie.” (He’s seven and a half, now, and still sleeps with Geekie…but that’s a post of a different color.)

We all know that using baby talk is frowned upon, or is it? There’s a lot of research that supports talking in a cooing tone of voice actually helps infants develop language in its early stages. We’re using crazy faces and big eyes and connecting with our babies–the “ooooos” and the “ahgooooos” and zerberts. Anything less at this stage of development would fall short. It has its time and place and is gone all too fast.

Now, the problem comes in (when and if) we’re talking to our toddlers and our preschoolers using baby talk. They’re growing and learning and we need to lead the way. I love the mistakes they make when they mispronounce or misuse new words out of context. Not only is it adorable, it’s impressive! They’re trying new words on for size and taking them out for a spin. Our response should be one of excitement! “What a great word, tell me more about what you mean!” Listen to their explanation and help direct them with a more appropriate word and then use their word in a proper context (if appropriate, tee-hee-hee). When we read with them and take time to talk about new words and their meaning, it creates a learning environment that’s happening inside (new brain connections) and outside (how long until they use their shiny, new word in conversation?). Using a rich vocabulary in casual conversation is indeterminately valuable. It starts at home and, hopefully, continues in their school environment. A recent study cited “surprisingly clear evidence that when children were 4 years old the kind of language they experience in their classroom made a difference first for their kindergarten performance and then their fourth grade reading abilities.” Talk about a return on your investment!

We can often underestimate what our little ones can understand, but when we use “big words” in conversation, they will either understand and learn the word based on the context and the actions that follow OR they will ASK you what it means–win-win! Instead of saying, “No, not now, you have to wait,” we can say, “No, not now, I need you to be patient.” Patience is a word that has greater value to you and to them. You’re asking them to demonstrate a practice. It’s a practice to be praised and cultivated! We can recognize patience in others. We can acknowledge that being patient is difficult (ah, another good word!). We can talk about the opposite of patient; impatient! We can talk about the difference between being patient and being a patient. Wow, now try that with a word like “wait!”

Using real and rich words with our toddlers and preschoolers will add to their language development, their future reading ability and our repertoire of funny kid stories.

-posted by by Jenny Leggett of Sound Steps in Dallas, a former baby-talker and current rich language user with three children who now read beautifully.

Tags: babies, guest post, language development, parenting, preschoolers, toddlers

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Apr
23

The Cupcake Extravaganza

Posted in Bits and Pieces, Village

To me, there are many wonders that take place in a Kindermusik Village class. More times than I can count, I find my self thinking, “this is amazing, and I get to be a part of it!” Even though I have a carefully thought out lesson plan each week, I can never account for the magic and unexpected moments that inevitably arise in class. More often than not, these organic moments are the most delightful and memorable.

One such moment arose about a month ago in my Tuesday Village class in Kirkland. Toward the end of class we were discussing birthdays, since little Kaitlyn was about to have her 1^st birthday party that weekend. The discussion turned to birthday cakes and which bakeries in the Kirkland area people had used and liked best. This led to the ever popular topic of cupcakes. Everyone was quite enthusiastic about which bakery made their favorite cupcakes.

Before I knew it, someone proposed that the group have a cupcake tasting and suggested we could do it after class the next week. I was happy to facilitate. It was agreed that each grown –up would bring cupcakes from a different bakery and we would rate which ones we liked best. Judy, Kaitlyn’s Mom, wondered if anyone in the group blogged since this would make such a great story. I immediately volunteered to write about it for the Studio3 Blog.

Later that week, I received an email from Judy saying that a friend of hers from Currently Kirkland TV thought our story was so cute that she wanted to come film a piece about it. What began as a simple unexpected conversation in Village class grew into a full-fledged media-covered cupcake extravaganza!

The following week, all were assembled dressed in their finest daywear; ready for the camera, class and, of course, the very serious business of cupcakes. Camera Man Mike filmed us in all our Kindermusik glory. Throughout class, every one beamed in delightful expectation of things to come.

Once class time was over, out came the cupcakes. We ended up with confections from eight different bakeries. The contestants were Trophy, Lisa Du Pare, Pasta & Co, NY Cupcakes, QFC, Cupcake Royale, PCC, and Pinkabella. Many had other places and appointments to get to soon, so a frenzy of cupcake tasting, judging, and interviews by Reporter Pamm ensued. Participants were allowed to vote for both favorite cake and favorite frosting. After many sugary sweet samples and all was said and done, the clear winner of the day was, ahem, drum roll please, Pinkabella cupcakes, in both the frosting and cake categories.

After the sugary bacchanalia of it all, I was left feeling a bit woozy. Quite frankly, I don’t care to look at another cupcake for a long time, but I am boosted by the fact that every one, both babies and grown-ups, were in high form that day, and I couldn’t possibly have been more proud of them or more delighted with what was born of one magical moment in Village class.

You can watch the final story, too! If you click on the link, you can see the episode right online.

-posted by Miss Meresa, who is looking forward to the next spontaneous and unexpected magical moment in class.

Tags: babies, kindermusik, Miss Meresa

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Apr
6

Life With a Tornado

Posted in Child Development, Family

My niece Macie turns one year in a month. Right now, she’s at that annoying stage where she sits in her high chair, looks you straight in the eye, gives a cheeky grin, and drops her cup onto the floor.

My sister finds it annoying. I find it hilarious. Of course, I’ve been-there done-that three times, and it’s been five years since one of mine played that game. Because I’m the auntie, I can call it cute and be glad I’m no longer scraping food off the walls.

What this all means is that 11 month old Macie has moved from the this-is-all-about-picking-things-up stage, to the what-will-happen-if-I, what-does-it-feel-like, what-noise-does-it-make stage.

But let’s back up a moment. I’ve got to get you caught up. These fine motor skills began at about 2 to 4 months of age, when she inaccurately swiped at objects. Sometime after 3 months, she could hold small objects in her hand, and within a couple of months, could transfer those objects between her hands. Between 5 and 9 months Macie could first rake at objects with her whole hand to pick them up, and then moved on to picking up small objects using her thumb and index finger. We call this a pincer grasp.

She’ll use this grasp to string beads, close a Ziploc bag, color, hold her glockenspiel mallets in Kindermusik Young Child, build Lego creations, and cut with scissors.

As Macie’s grasp became more precise, she explored objects by moving, twisting, turning and shaking them. Now at almost a year, she’s just about ready for my favorite classic of baby toys – the Tupperware shape sorter, which combines the rotating, moving and flipping skills she learned earlier, which a little cognitive thinking.

When she first learned to sit, Macie would prop herself up on one arm, and explore her playthings with one hand and her mouth. As she learned sit without help, both hands became free to be used to answer her questions about the shape, texture, size, hardness, and weight of objects. She’s using her mouth less (though a lot of children remain really oral for a couple of years, and that’s perfectly okay).

Which brings us back to the cup throwing. And the banging, shaking, squeezing, tapping, twisting and flinging. Is my sister annoyed? You betcha. Her living room floor currently looks like a tornado hit it. So does Macie’s room. And the dining room. And sometimes even the bathroom. (And even the hallway, which occasionally gets mummified by an unwound roll of toilet paper.

But rather than get angry when our babes make a mess, keep this in mind: You already know what a balloon does when you kick it, what noise a cup makes when you throw it, just how fast you can unwind toilet paper (and how long it is!), how scratchy brush bristles feel on your skin – but your little one doesn’t. Someone, long ago, let you taste, touch, feel and manipulate objects. And then helped you learn how to pick up your tornado.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who suggests you make an ever-changing sensory box filled with varied objects like a sponge, a wooden spoon, a rock, a piece of sandpaper, a feather duster, and egg shaker, a pan lid, a real flower, a jingle bell stick and a stuffed animal for you to explore together.

Tags: babies, learning, Miss Analiisa, physical development, toddlers

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Mar
29

Rituals and Routines and Morning Tea

Posted in Child Development, Family

A couple of days ago, I woke up late and had to rush out the door. My husband kindly offered to make me my usual cup of tea. (He’s the coffee drinker, me – Stash Double Bergamot Earl Grey with stevia and half and half, thank you very much.) I was horrified at the thought of having to chug my tea down before I left, so I declined.

You see, my morning tea is supposed to be sipped slowly while sitting at the dining room table reading the celebrity gossip, err… news on my iPad. No rushing allowed. Without my tea, I was seriously out of sorts all morning long. (And it wasn’t the lack of caffeine; I only have one cup.)

If you’re not a morning beverage have-to drinker, perhaps you’ve sat down to watch your favorite TV show, and discovered it was on hiatus? Bet you turned into cranky pants. We grown-ups grow accustomed to our routines and rituals, and it can be aggravating and unsettling to be jolted out of them!

We’re born with a need for routine and ritual. Predictability is important to an infant, a toddler, a pre-schooler, a jr. higher, and adults. We like to know what comes next. It brings us comfort and security and makes us feel like we are in control of our circumstances.

Routines are the tasks or chores we regularly do. They are the typical or everyday activities that have little afterthought. Your workplace has a typical routine. (Think about what you do in your job, or what are the normal procedures you follow without really thinking about them.) I do laundry on Fridays, always lock the door when I leave the house, and start with long tones when I practice my Euphonium.

Your children need routines, too. In Kindermusik, we always start with the hello song and end with the goodbye song. Routines in the classroom allow children to feel safe and secure, and then learning can happen naturally.
Routines help babies solidify their eating and sleeping patters; routine transitions and rituals help preschoolers feel in control, and knowing what to expect enables them to act independently.

There is an interesting difference between routines and rituals. According to Stedman’s Medical Dictionary, a ritual is a detailed act or series of acts carried out by an individual to relieve anxiety or to forestall the development of anxiety.

That makes perfect sense. My morning tea ritual gives me a moment of peace before I enter the hectic pace of my day. It grounds me. The routine of the hello and goodbye song in a Kindermusik class becomes a ritual when we sing the same song each week. The familiarity and consistency of these songs lets the children know what’s coming, and so they eagerly ready themselves for fun and learning.

Rituals and routines shape a child’s behavior and development in a stable, secure and loving manner. Think bath time, cleanup time, bed time, family nights, Sunday morning waffles, summer vacations to the lake. There is no shortage of research to suggest that routines and rituals are vitally important to the well-being and positive mental health of any child.

We can never underestimate the affect of the emotional imprint of loving routines and rituals in a child’s life, and the positive feelings they evoke in years to come. There is no shortage of research to suggest that routines and rituals are vitally important to the well-being and positive mental health of any child. What are some of your favorite memories of childhood? They likely involve a ritual or routine, which you may have repeated with your own family.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who now knows that her morning cup of tea is not really about the caffeine; it emotionally prepares her to face the day. So, drink up!

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net