Back several months. Rob had just finished vision therapy, which for us, was the missing piece of our sensory journey. We’d already done occupational therapy, physical therapy, water therapy, seen a sensory motor specialist, and finished speech therapy. At this point, you can meet Rob and you wouldn’t know he’s a sensory kid. I thought the rest of this schooling year would sort of be an all-come-together year. So much for my plan.

Do I have to post a picture relevant to this post? Just my dimpled Rob turning 10. Oh wait! Our grammar chant charts are on the wall. Grammar = homeschooling = relevant. It works.

Yesterday, I was doing Singapore Math with Rob. And suddenly, he looked at me and said, “I don’t remember how to divide.” Three weeks ago his violin playing took a huge leap backward. His biggest complaint was that (and I quote), “I can’t keep all the information straight in my head.” I’m having lots of trouble getting punctuation rules to stick in his brain, too.

I’ve noticed over the last couple of months that all he wants to do is PLAY. With his friends. And read. For hours. This from the kid who a year ago couldn’t read for more than 15 minutes without his eyes getting tired. That doesn’t mean, of course, that he doesn’t do school. He does. He likes grammar and history and anatomy and physiology especially.

But yesterday, I kept thinking, “How could we get this far and do division all the time, and suddenly, you can’t do it?” It seemed to appear so out of the blue, that I thought that perhaps I just had my head in the clouds and wasn’t paying attention and finally noticed what was going on. Where had I missed the signs?

So I emailed Jesikah, who used to be my assistant, and now bears the more lofty title of Director of Operations. She’s my email therapist, sometimes, too. (She’s also the mother of Rob’s best friends.)

I wrote –

He’s so struggled in some areas at school this year – it’s not a cognitive thing. His brain has just had difficulty processing all the information now flowing in (thanks to vision therapy). However, I feel like I’ve failed him somehow this year. We haven’t accomplished as much as we’ve needed to.

And then I got back the most amazing response –

The Montessori teacher told me recently that some years the children really pour themselves into academics, and some years their social/emotional development needs are so much that it is a distraction against academics and not much is accomplished there…but social/emotional needs are more important than academics – it is what makes us good husbands/wives, parents, friends, siblings, good students and even employees… At the end of one’s life, we always want to be better spouses, better parents, better friends…we never regret that we weren’t as academic as we could have been. Children have a knack for catching up academically, too.

You have not failed Rob. Perhaps, this is a growing year for him socially/emotionally, which is why school is so hard for him. Those other needs are more important at the moment, even if he is incapable of expressing those sentiments.

Thank you, Jesikah. The fact that as a fourth grader, Rob’s brain has felt the need to do something else for his development (rather than what I want it to do), is perfectly okay. So we’ll do a little math this summer, and practice writing a few friendly letters.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who wants to tell discouraged parents and teachers everywhere that it’ll be okay. Because it will. Even if you have to pull out of the violin recital at the last minute.There will be another one.

Growing up, I remember mom singing all the time. In church, in the Gilbert & Sullivan Society, at home on our piano, going about her everyday life. And singing me to sleep every night. She was the reason I became a musician.

So, when I am with her now, I sing, I play ukulele, I lead music time in the recreation room, and we listen to old musicals and Handel’s Messiah, one of her favorites. And mom sings back. She hums all day. Her sentences begin rationally, turn to randomness, and end up as song.

The part of her brain (the left side) where language lives has been damaged, but mom still reacts, responds to and participates when there is music.

I am not an expert in Alzheimer’s research, but I know what I have experienced with my mother. On my last visit, a nurse’s aide was leading the dementia patients in a sing along of old favorites. One of the most lucid comments my mother made during this visit was, “She can’t carry a tune,” referring to the aide. And she said this three times!

I asked the aide if she had another song sheet so I could follow along, and she happily turned over the song-leading to me. (Just try to keep a Kindermusik teacher from singing!) The group joined me happily in song, most of them remembering every word of their old favorite tunes.

Afterwards, I asked mom if I was on pitch, to which she said, “most of the time.” Well, she always was a perfectionist! For the rest of the day, I heard her singing, “Take me Out to the Ballgame.” Those were some of my happiest moments in an otherwise difficult time.

-posted by Miss Judy, who says, “My mother’s name is Annabelle, and she has always had a beautiful voice.”

Here is an article from someone who is an expert, and the author of several wonderful books about the brain, and an amazing video of a man who is revitalized with music.

Dr. Oliver Sacks, Professor of Neurology & Psychiatry, Columbia University

Where I work at a hospital and at a number of old age homes, there are a lot of people who have Alzheimer’s or other dementias of one sort or another. Some of them are confused, some are agitated, some are lethargic, some have almost lost language. But all of them, without exception, respond to music. This is especially true of old songs and songs they once knew. Read more…

A week into class, I was thinking my SAT scores had put me in the wrong class. I double checked, but nope, I was where I was supposed to be. It had been SIX years since I had cracked a math textbook. And yet, this stuff called Algebra was easy! I finally understood math. It was all about patterns.

Halfway through the semester, my math professor called me into her office, and said that I really should be in a much higher level math, and had I considered a math minor? Uh, nope. I hated math. Well, wait a minute. I didn’t really hate math anymore. It made sense, and I actually liked being successful at it.

It didn’t take me long to figure out why. If you’ve ever spent time in the dungeons of a music department, you’ll soon discover that 95% of the double majors are music and some sort of math or math-heavy science. The french horn and bassoon players (being generally both the smartest and funniest and strangest of the music breeds) are the astrophysicists, the biochemists, and the aeronautical engineers. (Oh, please, don’t send me nasty emails if you are a clarinet player with a job in the field of quantum mechanics. I’m sure there are brilliant clarinetists out there, too!)

I realized that my 5 years of music theory was, like math, all about patterns. The music had somehow trained my brain to comprehend math.

Years later, when I started learning about how music helps develops the brain, I found a much more sophisticated answer. Imaging studies have shown that mathematical processing and musical training activate the same areas of the brain.

It appears that early musical training begins to build the same neural networks that will later be used to complete mathematical tasks. Although I played an instrument starting in 5^th grade, I didn’t really have any good musical training – theory, private lessons, Kindermusik, etc.

So, my years of music theory, ear training, piano, conducting, private lessons and singing in college really did help those neural networks to grow. How I wish I’d had music training when I was very young, all the way through high school. I might have liked math better.

Of all the academic subjects, music and math are the most closely related. Music and math both require lots of counting. Within that counting, there are musical intervals, (the difference in pitch between two notes), and the math counterpart, arithmetic and geometric sequences.

Playing music also requires an good understanding of fractions, including adding and subtracting them. Reading music notes is dependant on comprehension of ratios and proportions – how long is a half note compared to a quarter note? How do you play triplets against sixteenth notes?  Geometry is used when remembering finger and slide positions.

My heart introduced my children to music for love, and joy, and pleasure. My head introduced music to my children so I could give them the very best start in life. Even if they don’t follow in my footsteps and become a music major, they’ll still reap the benefits their musical experiences.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who is tickled when her violin playing 4^th grader asks his instructor to “teach him some theory”.

Don’t believe that? Okay. Truth be told – I’m a teacher through and through. I strive to appreciate every child I work with, and if you ask me about your child, (as some of you have), I’m happy to give you my observations. I really do want you help you be successful in the art of parenting.

I can also share what I’ve learned about how to really get to know them. And why would you want to get to know them? Besides the obvious fact that you like your children, of course! Your children are born with unique personalities, skills, gifts, talents, learning styles, and characteristics. It’s our job as parents to support our children as they mature.

Understanding your child will assist you to guiding them as they grow. For instance, knowing your child’s learning style (In order to understand concepts, do they need to see it, hear it, or do it?) will tell you how to help them with learning to read, tell time, or grasp their addition facts.

Children arrive with some prewiring. I don’t mean that they can’t change and grow, but they aren’t blank slates, either. How my 3 children behaved in utero was how they acted after they arrived on the outside. One was a poker – he’s 13 and he still “pokes” at me verbally if he wants my attention. One was a roller – I looked like a pregnant Sigourney Weaver from the movie Alien. He still is a whole body mover. He needs to move to learn. He moves when things get emotionally difficult to deal with. He rolls on the floor a few times in the middle of a particularly intense violin lesson, and then gets up and is ready to work again. My two boys will always be pokers and rollers.

The best way to understand your children is to simply observe them. Playing, working, sleeping, eating. What are the character traits that continually show themselves? Are they introverted or extroverted? What are their favorite activities? Those things are your child’s “normal”. Most of the time, your child’s “normal” is perfectly okay. And you need to be okay with it, too.

You don’t like going to the zoo every weekend, but your daughter begs, rain or shine? Think about what clues that gives you. Nurture that love of nature. If you don’t want to go to the zoo again, find new museums, take a field trip to the vet’s office, check out library books about reptiles for your visual learner. Get a pet for your “doer” to take care of.

Want to get to know someone? Ask a lot of questions! So, ask your child open-ended questions. (Those questions that require more than a yes or no answer.) Instead of asking your child who they played with in school, ask them what they played.

Miss Allison (a great observer of children) gave me some more ideas to pass along to you:

When you read a book to them ask them what their favorite part was… who their favorite character was…

Have a verbal child tell you a story. You’ll discover a lot about what they think about, and feel, are scared of… wishing for…

Watch how they play with small pretend play manipulatives: people toys (like action figures and Polly Pocket type things) and anthropomorphized animal toys, too, plastic animals or dinosaurs, small stuffed animals. Large motor pretend play is usually done with other children, but small motor pretend play is often done alone, so you only see what your child is interested in rather than what they are willing to compromise on.

Pay attention to the skill sets that confuse them or make them frustrated. Those activities are pointing you toward the areas the child isn’t as comfortable with, may be stuck with, or toward personality traits such as perfectionist, or short tempered.

Make a point of playing with your child in different areas of development. Do a puzzle one day, take a nature hike the next. Ride bikes, or work on pedaling, build with blocks, color and do a craft, sing a song, tell a story so that you can see where your child is gifted, where they struggle and most importantly, where they are growing and where they are not growing.

With lots of observation and interaction, you’ll have the knowledge of what tools and toys to provide, to assist them in reaching their next level of maturity.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who sees so many of her sister’s and mother’s traits in her daughter that it’s more than a bit freaky.

Image: Naypong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I admire you parents who are naturally great time managers.  However I suspect some of you can relate to me. As family life has gotten more complicated, I’ve had trouble keeping everyone and everything running smoothly.

image from guardian.co.uk.

Increasingly I’ve felt like a dummy. “How in the world did Margaret Thatcher lead England?” I lamented with hands thrown in the air after forgetting something or being late—again!

How could Mrs. Thatcher lead England?  Or how can anyone manage a tremendously complicated life? It’s simply this:  We don’t ask our brain to do something which it is not suited to do.

According to time.thoughts.com, “Your memory is not made for storing and recalling variable types of information. There’s a point at which it can’t handle any more.”

When we do predictable manual work, our brains don’t have any trouble remembering.  By contrast, when we are doing highly variable knowledge work, our memory is overtaxed.

For example, if I get the preschool phone list, but I don’t put it in a specific place where I know I can access it at will, my brain can’t let go.  “Where is that list?” I subconsciously wonder.  If I know it is in my phone folder, I can access the info effortlessly when needed.

Therefore, we simply need to use tools to help our brains retrieve the information we need.  When we get these systems in place, our brains rest and are much more productive instead of filled with anxiety consciously or sub-consciously.

No wonder I’ve felt like a dummy.  I mistakenly thought a good brain is itself a retrieval and storage system! The key to a rested and productive brain is a good EXTERNAL information retrieval and storage system. Or in the case of Margaret Thatcher, a staff of people to remember things for you.

Here are a few ideas I’m using to get started:

1. Write things down. Keep a notebook in the car, in your purse, by the bed, wherever you might need it.  Get into the habit of noting things so that you can forget them until needed. I learned that for years my husband has been in the practice of carrying a small notebook in his pocket as his creative brain spins out ideas. “If I don’t write them down, they are gone,” he said.

2. Capture information systematically such that you can easily retrieve it.  I’ve put together a rudimentary system: a ring binder with 5 sections: to-do, to-buy, writing, and small group, and homeschool. It’s a work in progress.

The good news is, I’m not a dummy and neither are you!  When we constantly forget stuff, we’re asking too much of our brains.

Already I feel so much smarter. My brain is significantly de-stressed.  My confidence has had a boost.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who is now open to running for president.

There are two parts to self-control. The first is inhibitory control, which is the ability to stop what you are doing and wait. (The other part is impulse control, which is the ability to stop an idea or thought from becoming an action.) But as inhibitory control develops first, we’ll begin there.

In class, we’ve been playing with a chant called Giddy Up Horsey. You can do this at home, too. Put your child on your lap on the floor, and say this chant and as you bounce:

Giddy up horsey, giddy up horsey, giddy up horsey, go, go, go! Bounce your child up and down.

Giddy, up horsey, giddy up horsey, giddy up horsey WHOA!! When you get to the whoa, stop bouncing, and lean back with your child and stop. Wait quietly for a moment. Keep repeating the whole thing until the giggles subside.

Then in class, we’ve been getting up and riding stick horses around to the same chant, stopping our ponies and waiting to be told to “go” again, (the inhibitory control part) after the whoa.

Miss Allison had an interesting observation this week. She said that because the grownups were in charge of the child’s body during the bounce, they were showing the children how to control their bodies (how to stop at the appropriate time). The grownups were teaching the children the pattern and the how of the going, stopping, and waiting.

When the children got up on the stick horses, they were more ready and able to control their own bodies. They were familiar with the pattern, and could anticipate the whoa. Miss Allison said that in classes that did the bounce first, before the pony riding, the children had a much higher success rate of demonstrating inhibitory control when in charge of their bodies during the pony ride, than the ones who just did the ride.

That fits with what we always say – You are your child’s first and best teacher.

So, do a little bouncing this week. And keep your eye on the blog. I’ve got an idea about how to make a really adorable stick pony to practice the riding and stopping and waiting (cleverly disguised inhibitory control practice). I just need to get the idea out of my head and take some pictures of the process. I promise – under $5 and NO sewing!

Oh, I almost forgot. For a fun stop and go game at home or in the car, check out this cute idea.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who will practice some pony riding every time she’s having difficulty practicing either inhibitory or impulse control around that Godiva sea salt dark chocolate.

What I learned about a month after school started was that he just needed to use his musical brain in other ways.  He was practicing shapes and patterns one night at the kitchen table for homework when I glanced over and saw something amazing.  He was making music with math.  (Only a trained Kindermusik mom would notice this.)

His repetitive patterns with numbers sounded musical when I read them aloud.  It was more than just the typical 1-2-1-2-1-2.  It had rhythm.  I sent it to Miss Allison, our local Kindermusik scientific music specialist.  She also saw the beat and just for fun sent back the numbers in musical alphabet.

My kindergartener, without knowing, was continuing to make music.  His brain still retained his Kindermusik knowledge.  I played the mathematical notes on the recorder with the joy of one discovering the cure for the common cold.  He just snubbed his nose at me before dumping a pile of Legos on the floor.  I smiled.  There IS life after Kindermusik.

My kindergartener is not physically going to Kindermusik classes any more but after five years it was time for his brain to move on.  His brain was remembering and using what he learned for more than just silly dances and colorful shakers.

My anxiety decreased as I held his little brother’s hand to his first session of Imagine That.  The baby was now off to learn music in his own space, with his own friends.  Practicing his own independence.  Kissing time was a quick peck on the cheek as he ran by sideways.  On the way out the door I looked back .  Those baby snuggle days were over, but watching the singing and silly dancing happening at that moment without me was not the end.

Kindermusik was not just for the kids.  It’s been music for all of us.  We will still make up songs and dance silly in our own ways at home.  When classes are over at the end of the day, the music goes on.  At bedtime my boys, 6 and 4 years old, still wait for mama to give snuggles and sing “Hush Little Baby and Ally Bally.”  Life after Kindermusik?  Absolutely!

-posted by Kindermusik mama Heidi Forrester,  whose children now want to learn the electric guitar and the bassoon.

In fact, as I write this, I am sitting here doing my best to force motivate my violin player through his practice.  It’s not always easy. He’d rather be playing Xbox, or tug-a-war with his dog, or making up stories with his Halo Megabloks – anything but practicing. (Except, well, taking a shower and washing his hair, of course.)

But I know something he doesn’t. Finnish researchers (Did you know my maiden name was Koivisto? Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I like these scientists so much) have just developed a new method that shows the wide neural networks (including motor, emotions and creativity) that become activated all over the brain as music is listened to. Now scientists have an even better way to understand how music affects us.

Just like eating your vegetables and fish and getting enough vitamin D have a profound impact on my children’s physical health and development, regular music lessons/classes from an early age increases my children’s ability to learn. That’s a scientific fact, not just my opinion.

Here are a few examples of how scientists and researches believe music helps the brain:

• Studies have shown that music lessons/classes assist the brain to process sounds more efficiently. This means that when your child is trying to stay focused on reading a history text in a noisy classroom, he or she will have an easier time concentrating than a non lesson taker.
• Fast forward to a grown up job in one of those tiny cubicles. Multi-tasking and concentrating in a busy, loud office is an essential skill, one your violin player is much more likely to have.
• One researcher has found that the silence between two musical notes triggers the brain cells and neurons, which are responsible for the development of sharp memory.
• Other studies demonstrate that children who undergo musical training have a better verbal recall than those who have none. The amount of information that can be recalled increases the longer their period of musical training.
• Learning a second language is mandatory for high school graduation. Musicians are much better than non musicians at discerning the subtleties in pitch in foreign languages. This is especially helpful for tonal languages, like Mandarin.
• Coordination and concentration are also improved when a child takes instrument lessons. Think about what a flute player does all at the same time – moves both hands, reads music, listens to the players around him, watches the conductor – that’s a lot to coordinate!
• We know that music stimulates the areas of the brain that are responsible for planning and analyzing, thereby improving your organizational skills and making you more capable of handling math, reasoning and other cognitive tasks.
• And I think most importantly, when a child masters a piece of music or a difficult technique, it provides a sense of accomplishment, and gives a boost in confidence that spills over into all areas of life and produces a desire to tackle more challenges.

I want my children to grow up and have a good work ethic, an eagerness to try new things, the ability to reason and think, and the confidence that they can successfully navigate life.  The music they participate in now will help them accomplish just that.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who is going to make salmon burgers tomorrow night for dinner. After she wrestles her violin-playing 9 year old into the shower in the morning.

Can’t you just hear that song in your head right now?  I also remember sitting next to our stereo speaker, asking my dad over and over to replay “The Chipmunk Song” (Christmas Don’t Be Late).   Now, if you were a kid in America in 1958, (see picture of my older brother and me), the previous sentence should immediately trigger your memory to play that silly melody.

What song does this snowy picture immediately remind you of?  Yes, “Frosty the Snowman!” Did you brain “play” it for you when you thought of it?

This silent, “inner hearing”, or audiation, is the ability to “hear” music when no musical sound is present. When you audiate, you have internalized and are “thinking” music. For example, have you ever found yourself with a song “going through your head?” You’re audiating! Being able to hear music in this way is an important part of musical literacy, just as being able to think thoughts without speaking them aloud is an important in language and thought development.

Dr. Edwin Gordon defined audiation as “the hearing and comprehending of sound that is not physically present.” According to Gordon, “audiation is to music as thinking is to language.” Just as children babble before speaking and thinking in language, they also progress through steps in music before they fluently speak and think in music.

Tips for parents: This is a fun game to play with in the car, in the kitchen, or while cuddling on a lazy Saturday morning when the children pile in bed with you. Start singing a favorite song, and then stop before you sing the last note of a phrase or the end of the song. Wait and see if your child sings it for you. If he does, he is successfully “thinking music,” or hearing it in his head.  – Theresa Case

What I think is really cool, (being a music geek), is all the ways we can use this “inner hearing” in our everyday lives.  When someone asks you, “what is the 10^th letter of the alphabet?” your mind automatically plays the ABC song to help you find the letter “J.”  When faced with a word we do not recognize, we “sound out” the syllables in our heads to try to figure it out. (Like the word, “audiation”)!  We use familiar melodies to help children with everyday tasks when we sing, “toys away, toys away,” or “this is the way we brush our teeth.”

In Kindermusik classes, we practice “hearing the music inside” in many different ways:  Asking children what a bear or a train sounds like before playing the sound clip for them, leaving out successive words in “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,”  or the letters B-I-N-G-O in you-know-what song.  We take familiar melodies and change the words to suit the situation, as in “Got a Rock in my Pocket.”  We then use this song as a humming activity.  Humming is another way of “hearing the music inside,” as we usually think of the words of a song while making humming the notes.  We expose children to many types of music to provide them with a broad and varied musical vocabulary on which to build their future musical experiences.

And remember, when we share all these musical experiences together in class, whether playing drums to “African Noel,” dancing to “The Sugar Plum Fairy,” or rocking to Greensleeves, we are sharing all of our collected memories and feelings about that music with all the other children and grownups in class.  We all bring to each activity our own life experiences and are allowed to share in the joy of the moment with others, in addition to creating new ones for our children.

One more picture for you, so I’ll know what classic song is playing as your part of “listening to the music inside.”

-posted by Miss Judy, who constantly gets music “stuck” inside of her head, and loves it!

The special thing about this book is that it has excerpts from real moms who documented how they were feeling week by week as their baby was growing. They would also document what their babies were doing as the weeks were going by as well. Again, for me, this was reassurance to know that each baby has different temperaments and is going to grow differently.

Miles at 5 weeks.

Here’s an example: I remember when Miles hit the 5 week mark. He was very fussy and it was very hard to get him to sleep. He would put up the greatest fight to go down and sometime he never made it down. He just cried the whole time until his next feeding.

This is when I picked up The Wonder Weeks and started reading as fast as I could! Well, wouldn’t you know, 5 weeks is when babies have their first fussy time, which leads into a ‘magical leap forward’.

After we made it through the 5^th week, both my husband and I realized that Miles was actually responding to music and he was starting to notice and play with his hands! He had started showing off his new skills that he was processing through during his fussy time.  What a pleasure to be able to watch and participate in his learning.  We were able to enjoy this because we knew what to expect.

Another thing that has been helpful about  The Wonder Weeks, is that there is a graph in the beginning of the book that charts out predicted fussy times. I’m a visual person, so this is very nice. I can quickly flip to this chart and see where Miles fits age-wise and see if he is in a sunny period (his personality is shining through) or a stormy period (more fussy than normal).

Here is one last example: Miles has been really cranky lately. I’ve stopped telling people how many weeks he is because I just can’t keep track. So, when people ask how old he is I’ll say 3 ½ months instead of weeks. But because he has been so cranky lately, I decided to count the weeks and check the chart in this book. Sure enough, Miles is in a stormy period and things are changing.

Miles has been very testy when it comes to sleeping. He has been having a really hard time going down and we can’t figure it out. He also doesn’t like my husband putting him down. He will cry and cry and cry with Casey, but then I’ll take him and he’ll quiet right down. This process has been really rough for both Casey and I because Casey feels rejected and I feel like I don’t get a break.

Miles at 17 weeks.

After counting how many weeks old Miles is, 17 weeks, he falls smack in the middle of a fussy time. I should’ve known! So, I just opened the book to refresh my memory about some of the changes that are going to be happening to Miles and about every description in the book is exactly what Miles is going through. Trouble sleeping, being cranky, shyness of strangers, entertaining him while he is awake; all of these things are written in this book and documented by the Moms who participated in journaling what their child was doing during this time. Talk about not feeling alone!

I am so grateful for this book, The Wonder Weeks. It has helped me a lot with being patient with my baby and myself. It will be a go-to book for me as Miles grows and gets older.

-posted by Miss Anna, who will be recommending this book to every Mom that she knows, and thinks that if you get the chance, you should check it out.