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Posts Tagged ‘Donna Detweiler’

May
14

The Pet Chronicles

Posted in Bits and Pieces, Family

Every family who chooses to have pets is guaranteed poop, pain and pleasure. While poop and painful partings are inevitable, pets also bring pleasurable hours of joy and lifelong memories. The lasting benefits of pet ownership seem to far outweigh the messy liabilities.

Many families put off the bigger pet commitment (dog) and go for the easier.  First they choose a cat which can be left alone for long periods of time. Or, like our family, they move down the food chain; hamsters, birds, fish, reptiles, cockroaches.

In retrospect, I’m not sure that putting off the dog decision is really worth it.  I’m speaking 3 hamsters, 2 gerbils, 2 rabbits and 4 guinea pigs later. (I’m allergic to cats.) What if we had chosen to simply get a dog 6 years ago?  The potty training would have lasted a few months.  A few slippers may have been chewed to shreds and perhaps a furniture leg or two.  I’m not sure we gained much financially or time wise as we cycled through months of weekly cage cleaning. Plus, the accidental death, scent gland tumors, and old age took our most of our pets to heaven inside of a year.  My childhood dog lived 16 years!

How did our pet parade begin?  Some kids are born with an “I love animals” gene. When our daughter with the pet DNA lovingly adopted a lady bug (and cried her heart out when she accidentally dropped the bug in the grass and couldn’t find it) we decided it was TIME. But a dog “might tie us down.”  So we opted for our first hamster against my better judgment. I still wince thinking about how my sister’s hamster bit me. But a hamster is cute, lives in a small manageable cage and doesn’t require potty training or getting up at night. So we got one.

J.J. died while we were on vacation a couple months later. For the sake of our beloved, pet-sitting neighbor, the secret of J.J.’s passing will go with me to my grave.  (Hint: They have 5 dogs.) So we went back to the pet store, where we decided to upgrade to a cuddlier pet.  A giant hamster might fit better in a child’s hands, right?  We quickly learned that bigger hamsters simply have bigger teeth.  As were leaving the store, the hamster poked her nose through the air hole and took a chunk out of my daughter’s finger. As the blood dripped, we reconsidered.

Another family in the store that day convinced us of the charm and non-nocturnal nature of gerbils.  We happily came home with two. About a year later, both had succumbed to gerbil diseases and we were pet-free again.

Enter bunnies. Angus, a Holland Lop and Shiner, a Jersey Woolley, were purchased at the county fair. Now we had a pet of a known breed.  We had progressed.  Angus learned to “play tag” and put up with all sorts of other tortures at the hand of his 9 year old mistress.

This time the painful parting came because we were moving. As bunnies do not travel well (weak hearts,) Angus and Shiner were returned to the breeder the day before we moved. As if he knew, Angus inexplicably took a grumpy turn and bit and sprayed my daughter regularly in the last weeks, making their parting easier, although the memory of their happy relationship took on mythical proportions once distance made the heart grow fonder.

In our new location, my daughter survived without a pet for a year, but we realized she needed a pet to fill in the quiet moments of her day as well as feed her soul.

Having learned that hamsters bite and gerbils are not cuddly, we graduated to guinea pigs. And that is a story for my next blog.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who has found it surprisingly insightful to chronicle her family’s pet history and thinks you writing-type readers should do the same!

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: artemisphoto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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May
8

Duck, Duck, Animal! Fun Theater Games for Young Kids

Posted in Bits and Pieces, Things to do

Kids are natural actors. After years of teaching theater games to kids ages 5-12, I’ve yet to encounter a child who doesn’t want to play.  Some kids are better actors than others, but they all have the natural want-to.  Very few have inhibitions. If I tell my group to pick a farm animal to become, I’m immediately surrounded by mooing, baaaaa-ing and oinking throng.  I have yet to hear, “Do I HAVE to?”  That part is wonderful.

While I’m no expert at theater, and though my 1/2 hour teaching slot at our drama class is anything but fancy or refined, kids love it. Theater games and improve exercises are very free form.  Implication:  You can do it too. But be prepared to embrace some chaos.  Kids who are alive with imaginative fun are not sitting around quietly!

Here are a few of my class’ favorite games. Next time you have a group of bored kids around, try a couple of these and see how quickly time passes and how much fun you all have. But leave your perfectionism behind.

Duck Duck Animal—A twist on the familiar game Duck, Duck, Goose. Instead of saying, “Goose,” the child says the name of another animal and that child must become that animal as he/she races around the circle and tries to tag “it” before he/she reaches their spot in the circle.  Smart kids quickly say slow animals such as “snail” or “turtle.”

Statue Maker—A classic game. One child is the statue shop owner.  Another is the shopper. All other kids are statues. As the game begins all statues dance and wiggle until the statue maker says, “freeze.”  The shopper, who has been outside the room, reenters and is shown the statues one by one. The shop owner turns on each statue and it performs its function and is then turned off. After each statue has performed, the shopper picks his/her favorite. The chosen statue becomes the next shopper and a new shop owner is chosen. This is my group’s favorite game. It is raucous and fun.  (Young children will usually imitate each other and often end up chasing the shopper until turned off. It can help to suggest a theme for the statues, such as animals or sports.  It is also helpful to remind children they are not to touch any other children.)

New York, New York—(Also called Lemonade) Divide your kids into two groups of at least 3 each.  Each team goes to opposite sides of the room or designated outdoor area and decides on a vocation or activity, for example skiing or gardening.  Both teams come up to the middle line. Team A says: “New York, New York,” Team B replies: “What’s your trade?” Team A: “Lemonade!” Team B: “Show us some if you’re not afraid.” At this point Team A begins to act out their agreed upon vocation and the other team tries to guess what they are doing. Once a correct guess is shouted out, Team A tries to run back to their base before being tagged out by members of Team B who are chasing them. Teams then switch roles.

Tangled Knot–(at least 10 kids) All children stand in a small circle. Next, they reach across the circle with closed eyes and find two hands to hold.  Then the game begins.  The children must untangle the giant knot created without letting go of anyone’s hands.  Going slow is the key!

Detective–All children stand in a circle.  One child is chosen as the detective and leaves the room. Another child is chosen to be the leader. He/she will lead the group in motions, similar to Simon Says—clapping, hopping, patting head, and turning around—when the detective returns. The detective is invited back into the room and stands in the center of the circle. He/she must guess who the leader is. The group must try and keep that knowledge from the detective by not making eye contact with the leader, and the leader must be careful to change up the motion only when the detective’s back is turned.  Subtlety is the key.  Once the detective correctly guesses the leader, a new detective and leader is chosen.

Mirror–Children pair up, and face one another.  They take turns being the leader and the mirror.  The leader moves his/her body very slowly and the mirror must “mirror” the actions. The game is to mirror so well that an observer can’t tell who the leader is and who the mirror is.  Then kids switch roles.

For more ideas, check out: On Stage: Theater Games & Activities for Kids by Lisa Bany-Winters.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who volunteers to do theater games with kids because of how she LOVED playing these games as a child. She wants to pass it on!

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Apr
18

My New Hero the Turtle

Posted in Bits and Pieces, Family, parenting

The fable about the tortoise and the hare is mind-numbingly familiar. We all heard it growing up. Has a cocky hare sprinted across your memory yet? We all know this story by heart, but have we ever recognized the profound truth hiding in the familiarity of this little tale?

Many of us sprint through life like the hare. We have things to do, do, do!  We dash off, frantic to get stuff done—thinking that by this method we will eventually cross whatever finish line we hold in mind.  When we begin to lose momentum, we fuel up mid-stream with a double shot of whatever and take off again, only to eventually nap under some short-of-the-finish line-tree.  The next morning we paw at the starting line and BANG!  Off we go again.

Let me translate this into real life. I’m a hare.  I’m eager and ready to dash out into the world each morning.  The results? My kids have an active life. Besides home schooling, we have horseback riding lessons, drama class, piano lessons, choir, writing co-op, gym class, and worship team.  Field trips are sprinkled in when something irresistible crops up like the maple syrup making, state capital day and civil war reenactment. No two days are alike as we hop, hop, hop around the extra-curricular landscape.

Then the turtle comes into view. Quite simply, the turtle represents getting to someplace specific. (In other words – the finish line.) As the hare dashes around and arguably has more fun, enjoys his natural talent and sees more of the countryside, he doesn’t accomplish the ultimate goal, which is important at times!

My discovery: When I want to teach my children a set of specific skills or work on a character issue, the turtle has the right moves.   My hare-like nature has been surprised to watch this principle work out.  When my daughter was struggling with long division, it became apparent she hadn’t mastered her math facts. Discouraged, I dashed down several fix-it roads, considering changing curriculum mid-stream. But then the turtle came into view.  I began to simply work with her for 5-10 minutes every day. I watched amazed as she progressed.  Slow and steady wins the race.

I began to apply this to other areas of my children’s lives. With achievement testing approaching, I felt certain we needed extra preparation. Bounding down the path of several complex history curricula, I quickly tired. Then the turtle came into view. I found a simple summary of what 5th graders should know about history and I began to read to her every day for 10 minutes, asking comprehension questions as a review. Hardly thinking that 10 minutes was worth it, I watched in amazement as she made steady progress. With that success, I began to plot a daily course for character issues needing attention:  doing basic chores without complaint, talking kindly to siblings.  Slow and steady wins the race.

Who knew the deep truth the simple fable of The Tortoise and the Hare has been hiding all these years!  My new hero the Tortoise has shown me how to succeed where I so often have failed. A little every day gets one a long way over time. Slow and steady does win the race.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who knows that yes, hares also have their redeeming qualities, but that’s another blog!

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Apr
8

Easter’s Secret Weapon

Posted in Bits and Pieces

While listening almost daily to my favorite news radio, NPR, I often sip a glass of iced tea with a sunny smile of lemon bobbing playfully in it.  A simple pleasure in a busy day. However, the stories I’ve listened to lately have been anything but pleasant. Daily reports detail the disintegration of Syrian society, “right” and “left” political animosity in our country, bitter debate over socio-economic divides, nuclear proliferation fears, anti-American sentiments in the Middle East and on it goes, around our suffering, struggling, warring planet.  It’s been disturbing news to digest.

Now that it’s Easter season, I’ve also been reading that 2,000 year old story and seeing surprising similarities. The Middle East was also in turmoil then. Israel was an occupied nation longing for regime change. Society was full of factions that claimed a way out.  The Zealots wanted to fight. The fat cat Pharisees and Sadducees wanted to stay in power. The common people longed for a political savior, a messiah/king.  It was a violent time, not unlike our own.

On that first Easter weekend, the Pharisees had finally figured out how to get rid of Jesus. They bribed an insider to take them to him under cover of darkness. They framed him through paid false testimony and got the death sentence by mid-morning. He was brutally tortured and crucified that afternoon.  Nothing new in conflict-ridden Jerusalem.

But the Easter story tells us that something was about to change. Two days later, Jesus’ body went missing– because he was still using it! He had risen from the dead. Unbeknownst to everyone on earth, Death was the real enemy Jesus was fighting. And he had won.  But how?

It seems that Jesus used a weapon that the world had never encountered before. Humble, self-sacrificing grace—defined as giving people what they don’t deserve. Could it be he wielded the powerful weapon of grace when he healed an enemy soldier’s ear instead of fighting back when they arrested him?  When he was silent before his mocking accusers and beaten for telling the truth?  When he told his Father to forgive his killers? Ultimately he duped Death by paying the ransom for the human race with his sinless life.  Willingly he had laid down his life for us. Grace was his secret weapon.

Jesus’ grace-filled death was so powerful that it ripped opened a portal between time and eternity, earth and heaven, man and God.  From then on, people could cross over and be with God forever instead of being separated eternally, trapped by sin and Death. Grace paved a new way.

The day after Jesus died, Jerusalem probably looked the same.  The conflicts continued just like the reports I hear daily on NPR. Like me, people longed for a world as sunny and peaceful as my simple, lemony tea.  But the truth was and is today that Jesus fought Death with grace and won. He opened the doorway for all grace receivers to cross over and live eternally.  And he also modeled how to live our relatively short days on earth–employing the powerful, world-changing, secret weapon of grace.

Happy Easter!

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who is humbled by trying to put Grace into words.

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Mar
31

Bad handwriting – just laziness?

Posted in Child Development, Education

Dysgraphia is a form of learning disorder which affects how kids write—more accurately, don’t write.  These kids avoid writing like the plague. When forced, it’s a struggle.  Often gifted students, they are labeled lazy or messy because of the extreme amount of time it takes them to produce next to nothing—and that’s not even talking about legibility. When reasonable kids are given reasonable training and still don’t want to write, dysgraphia may be the reason!

For a long time, dysgraphia wasn’t a recognized learning issue. Just read a few of the comments on any of the websites listed at the bottom and you’ll quickly see what I mean.  You’ll hear from adults who struggled through school and only later in life discovered they weren’t stupid or lazy. Good-hearted parents who have tried to decode the mystery of their smart non-writer lament and rejoice in the helpful diagnosis. Guilt-smothered parents who berated their kids for not doing what they couldn’t are out there too, guaranteed. It’s time for dysgraphia to come into the light.

The diagnosis for dysgraphia is, as with many learning disabilities, somewhat inexact. A “cluster of symptoms” identifies it. Here is a sampling of the list from Wikipedia: Dysgraphia: Signs and Symptoms:

  • Cramping of fingers while writing short entries
  • Odd wrist, arm, body, or paper orientations such as creating an L shape with your arm
  • Excessive erasures
  • Mixed upper case and lower case letters
  • Inconsistent form and size of letters, or unfinished letters
  • Misuse of lines and margins
  • Inefficient speed of copying
  • Inattentiveness over details when writing
  • Frequent need of verbal cues
  • Referring heavily on vision to write
  • Poor legibility
  • Handwriting abilities that may interfere with spelling and written composition
  • Having a hard time translating ideas to writing, sometimes using the wrong words altogether
  • May feel pain while writing

Writing is a complex set of motor and information processing skills. Breakdowns can occur on several levels. Three identified subtypes are: Dyslexic & Spatial which are brain-based issues. Motor which is caused by fine motor problems.

Dyslexic:  Children’s spontaneous writing is illegible.  Copy work is fairly good, but spelling is bad. Not thought to be fine motor based problem.

Spatial: Illegible spontaneous writing and copy work, but normal spelling. Not thought to be fine motor based.

Motor:  Fine motor skills are deficient. They have poor dexterity, weak muscle tone or clumsiness. Writing requires extreme effort and an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish. Writing is poor, often illegible. They have difficulty drawing.  Their oral spelling is normal. Often they hold their pencil in an awkward manner.

The bright side of a diagnosis of dysgraphia may well be the emotional relief and redirection of correction in a positive direction. Stress was listed as a main negative side effect of the disorder. Can you imagine the frustration of not being able move a thought from head to hand to paper?  Assigning correct meaning helps the patient and parent know how to proceed.

Intervention for dysgraphia is better when started younger. Dianne Craft, an expert in treating “learning glitches” as she calls them, has a website and treatment program for a variety of learning disabilities affecting children, including dysgraphia. Exercises include retraining the brain through copy work and gross motor activities. She identifies dysgraphia as the most common learning block of gifted children and offers many resources for helping children move beyond the disability.

When therapy is given the college try and is clearly not helping, “accommodation” is recommended. Helping children live with dysgraphia often includes teaching cursive as it can be easier letter formation than printing.  Early keyboard training can help diminish frustration, however giving up on handwriting is not recommended. Public schools are able or sometime required to offer diagnosed children therapy or appropriate classroom help, such as a keyboard, or note-taker or alternate testing methods.

Check out these websites for more information:

ncld.org: National Center for Learning Disabilities

Nototherwisespecified.typepad.com: Sara Gardner’s blog (mother of a child with dysgraphia)

Diannecraft.org: Expert in treating childhood learning “glitches.”

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who hopes that this blog will get some frustrated children the help they need to succeed.

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