Many families put off the bigger pet commitment (dog) and go for the easier.  First they choose a cat which can be left alone for long periods of time. Or, like our family, they move down the food chain; hamsters, birds, fish, reptiles, cockroaches.

In retrospect, I’m not sure that putting off the dog decision is really worth it.  I’m speaking 3 hamsters, 2 gerbils, 2 rabbits and 4 guinea pigs later. (I’m allergic to cats.) What if we had chosen to simply get a dog 6 years ago?  The potty training would have lasted a few months.  A few slippers may have been chewed to shreds and perhaps a furniture leg or two.  I’m not sure we gained much financially or time wise as we cycled through months of weekly cage cleaning. Plus, the accidental death, scent gland tumors, and old age took our most of our pets to heaven inside of a year.  My childhood dog lived 16 years!

How did our pet parade begin?  Some kids are born with an “I love animals” gene. When our daughter with the pet DNA lovingly adopted a lady bug (and cried her heart out when she accidentally dropped the bug in the grass and couldn’t find it) we decided it was TIME. But a dog “might tie us down.”  So we opted for our first hamster against my better judgment. I still wince thinking about how my sister’s hamster bit me. But a hamster is cute, lives in a small manageable cage and doesn’t require potty training or getting up at night. So we got one.

J.J. died while we were on vacation a couple months later. For the sake of our beloved, pet-sitting neighbor, the secret of J.J.’s passing will go with me to my grave.  (Hint: They have 5 dogs.) So we went back to the pet store, where we decided to upgrade to a cuddlier pet.  A giant hamster might fit better in a child’s hands, right?  We quickly learned that bigger hamsters simply have bigger teeth.  As were leaving the store, the hamster poked her nose through the air hole and took a chunk out of my daughter’s finger. As the blood dripped, we reconsidered.

Another family in the store that day convinced us of the charm and non-nocturnal nature of gerbils.  We happily came home with two. About a year later, both had succumbed to gerbil diseases and we were pet-free again.

Enter bunnies. Angus, a Holland Lop and Shiner, a Jersey Woolley, were purchased at the county fair. Now we had a pet of a known breed.  We had progressed.  Angus learned to “play tag” and put up with all sorts of other tortures at the hand of his 9 year old mistress.

This time the painful parting came because we were moving. As bunnies do not travel well (weak hearts,) Angus and Shiner were returned to the breeder the day before we moved. As if he knew, Angus inexplicably took a grumpy turn and bit and sprayed my daughter regularly in the last weeks, making their parting easier, although the memory of their happy relationship took on mythical proportions once distance made the heart grow fonder.

In our new location, my daughter survived without a pet for a year, but we realized she needed a pet to fill in the quiet moments of her day as well as feed her soul.

Having learned that hamsters bite and gerbils are not cuddly, we graduated to guinea pigs. And that is a story for my next blog.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who has found it surprisingly insightful to chronicle her family’s pet history and thinks you writing-type readers should do the same!

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: artemisphoto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

While I’m no expert at theater, and though my 1/2 hour teaching slot at our drama class is anything but fancy or refined, kids love it. Theater games and improve exercises are very free form.  Implication:  You can do it too. But be prepared to embrace some chaos.  Kids who are alive with imaginative fun are not sitting around quietly!

Here are a few of my class’ favorite games. Next time you have a group of bored kids around, try a couple of these and see how quickly time passes and how much fun you all have. But leave your perfectionism behind.

Duck Duck Animal—A twist on the familiar game Duck, Duck, Goose. Instead of saying, “Goose,” the child says the name of another animal and that child must become that animal as he/she races around the circle and tries to tag “it” before he/she reaches their spot in the circle.  Smart kids quickly say slow animals such as “snail” or “turtle.”

Statue Maker—A classic game. One child is the statue shop owner.  Another is the shopper. All other kids are statues. As the game begins all statues dance and wiggle until the statue maker says, “freeze.”  The shopper, who has been outside the room, reenters and is shown the statues one by one. The shop owner turns on each statue and it performs its function and is then turned off. After each statue has performed, the shopper picks his/her favorite. The chosen statue becomes the next shopper and a new shop owner is chosen. This is my group’s favorite game. It is raucous and fun.  (Young children will usually imitate each other and often end up chasing the shopper until turned off. It can help to suggest a theme for the statues, such as animals or sports.  It is also helpful to remind children they are not to touch any other children.)

New York, New York—(Also called Lemonade) Divide your kids into two groups of at least 3 each.  Each team goes to opposite sides of the room or designated outdoor area and decides on a vocation or activity, for example skiing or gardening.  Both teams come up to the middle line. Team A says: “New York, New York,” Team B replies: “What’s your trade?” Team A: “Lemonade!” Team B: “Show us some if you’re not afraid.” At this point Team A begins to act out their agreed upon vocation and the other team tries to guess what they are doing. Once a correct guess is shouted out, Team A tries to run back to their base before being tagged out by members of Team B who are chasing them. Teams then switch roles.

Tangled Knot–(at least 10 kids) All children stand in a small circle. Next, they reach across the circle with closed eyes and find two hands to hold.  Then the game begins.  The children must untangle the giant knot created without letting go of anyone’s hands.  Going slow is the key!

Detective–All children stand in a circle.  One child is chosen as the detective and leaves the room. Another child is chosen to be the leader. He/she will lead the group in motions, similar to Simon Says—clapping, hopping, patting head, and turning around—when the detective returns. The detective is invited back into the room and stands in the center of the circle. He/she must guess who the leader is. The group must try and keep that knowledge from the detective by not making eye contact with the leader, and the leader must be careful to change up the motion only when the detective’s back is turned.  Subtlety is the key.  Once the detective correctly guesses the leader, a new detective and leader is chosen.

Mirror–Children pair up, and face one another.  They take turns being the leader and the mirror.  The leader moves his/her body very slowly and the mirror must “mirror” the actions. The game is to mirror so well that an observer can’t tell who the leader is and who the mirror is.  Then kids switch roles.

For more ideas, check out: On Stage: Theater Games & Activities for Kids by Lisa Bany-Winters.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who volunteers to do theater games with kids because of how she LOVED playing these games as a child. She wants to pass it on!

Many of us sprint through life like the hare. We have things to do, do, do!  We dash off, frantic to get stuff done—thinking that by this method we will eventually cross whatever finish line we hold in mind.  When we begin to lose momentum, we fuel up mid-stream with a double shot of whatever and take off again, only to eventually nap under some short-of-the-finish line-tree.  The next morning we paw at the starting line and BANG!  Off we go again.

Let me translate this into real life. I’m a hare.  I’m eager and ready to dash out into the world each morning.  The results? My kids have an active life. Besides home schooling, we have horseback riding lessons, drama class, piano lessons, choir, writing co-op, gym class, and worship team.  Field trips are sprinkled in when something irresistible crops up like the maple syrup making, state capital day and civil war reenactment. No two days are alike as we hop, hop, hop around the extra-curricular landscape.

Then the turtle comes into view. Quite simply, the turtle represents getting to someplace specific. (In other words – the finish line.) As the hare dashes around and arguably has more fun, enjoys his natural talent and sees more of the countryside, he doesn’t accomplish the ultimate goal, which is important at times!

My discovery: When I want to teach my children a set of specific skills or work on a character issue, the turtle has the right moves.   My hare-like nature has been surprised to watch this principle work out.  When my daughter was struggling with long division, it became apparent she hadn’t mastered her math facts. Discouraged, I dashed down several fix-it roads, considering changing curriculum mid-stream. But then the turtle came into view.  I began to simply work with her for 5-10 minutes every day. I watched amazed as she progressed.  Slow and steady wins the race.

I began to apply this to other areas of my children’s lives. With achievement testing approaching, I felt certain we needed extra preparation. Bounding down the path of several complex history curricula, I quickly tired. Then the turtle came into view. I found a simple summary of what 5^th graders should know about history and I began to read to her every day for 10 minutes, asking comprehension questions as a review. Hardly thinking that 10 minutes was worth it, I watched in amazement as she made steady progress. With that success, I began to plot a daily course for character issues needing attention:  doing basic chores without complaint, talking kindly to siblings.  Slow and steady wins the race.

Who knew the deep truth the simple fable of The Tortoise and the Hare has been hiding all these years!  My new hero the Tortoise has shown me how to succeed where I so often have failed. A little every day gets one a long way over time. Slow and steady does win the race.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who knows that yes, hares also have their redeeming qualities, but that’s another blog!

Now that it’s Easter season, I’ve also been reading that 2,000 year old story and seeing surprising similarities. The Middle East was also in turmoil then. Israel was an occupied nation longing for regime change. Society was full of factions that claimed a way out.  The Zealots wanted to fight. The fat cat Pharisees and Sadducees wanted to stay in power. The common people longed for a political savior, a messiah/king.  It was a violent time, not unlike our own.

On that first Easter weekend, the Pharisees had finally figured out how to get rid of Jesus. They bribed an insider to take them to him under cover of darkness. They framed him through paid false testimony and got the death sentence by mid-morning. He was brutally tortured and crucified that afternoon.  Nothing new in conflict-ridden Jerusalem.

But the Easter story tells us that something was about to change. Two days later, Jesus’ body went missing– because he was still using it! He had risen from the dead. Unbeknownst to everyone on earth, Death was the real enemy Jesus was fighting. And he had won.  But how?

It seems that Jesus used a weapon that the world had never encountered before. Humble, self-sacrificing grace—defined as giving people what they don’t deserve. Could it be he wielded the powerful weapon of grace when he healed an enemy soldier’s ear instead of fighting back when they arrested him?  When he was silent before his mocking accusers and beaten for telling the truth?  When he told his Father to forgive his killers? Ultimately he duped Death by paying the ransom for the human race with his sinless life.  Willingly he had laid down his life for us. Grace was his secret weapon.

Jesus’ grace-filled death was so powerful that it ripped opened a portal between time and eternity, earth and heaven, man and God.  From then on, people could cross over and be with God forever instead of being separated eternally, trapped by sin and Death. Grace paved a new way.

The day after Jesus died, Jerusalem probably looked the same.  The conflicts continued just like the reports I hear daily on NPR. Like me, people longed for a world as sunny and peaceful as my simple, lemony tea.  But the truth was and is today that Jesus fought Death with grace and won. He opened the doorway for all grace receivers to cross over and live eternally.  And he also modeled how to live our relatively short days on earth–employing the powerful, world-changing, secret weapon of grace.

Happy Easter!

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who is humbled by trying to put Grace into words.

For a long time, dysgraphia wasn’t a recognized learning issue. Just read a few of the comments on any of the websites listed at the bottom and you’ll quickly see what I mean.  You’ll hear from adults who struggled through school and only later in life discovered they weren’t stupid or lazy. Good-hearted parents who have tried to decode the mystery of their smart non-writer lament and rejoice in the helpful diagnosis. Guilt-smothered parents who berated their kids for not doing what they couldn’t are out there too, guaranteed. It’s time for dysgraphia to come into the light.

The diagnosis for dysgraphia is, as with many learning disabilities, somewhat inexact. A “cluster of symptoms” identifies it. Here is a sampling of the list from Wikipedia: Dysgraphia: Signs and Symptoms:

• Cramping of fingers while writing short entries
• Odd wrist, arm, body, or paper orientations such as creating an L shape with your arm
• Excessive erasures
• Mixed upper case and lower case letters
• Inconsistent form and size of letters, or unfinished letters
• Misuse of lines and margins
• Inefficient speed of copying
• Inattentiveness over details when writing
• Frequent need of verbal cues
• Referring heavily on vision to write
• Poor legibility
• Handwriting abilities that may interfere with spelling and written composition
• Having a hard time translating ideas to writing, sometimes using the wrong words altogether
• May feel pain while writing

Writing is a complex set of motor and information processing skills. Breakdowns can occur on several levels. Three identified subtypes are: Dyslexic & Spatial which are brain-based issues. Motor which is caused by fine motor problems.

Dyslexic:  Children’s spontaneous writing is illegible.  Copy work is fairly good, but spelling is bad. Not thought to be fine motor based problem.

Spatial: Illegible spontaneous writing and copy work, but normal spelling. Not thought to be fine motor based.

Motor:  Fine motor skills are deficient. They have poor dexterity, weak muscle tone or clumsiness. Writing requires extreme effort and an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish. Writing is poor, often illegible. They have difficulty drawing.  Their oral spelling is normal. Often they hold their pencil in an awkward manner.

The bright side of a diagnosis of dysgraphia may well be the emotional relief and redirection of correction in a positive direction. Stress was listed as a main negative side effect of the disorder. Can you imagine the frustration of not being able move a thought from head to hand to paper?  Assigning correct meaning helps the patient and parent know how to proceed.

Intervention for dysgraphia is better when started younger. Dianne Craft, an expert in treating “learning glitches” as she calls them, has a website and treatment program for a variety of learning disabilities affecting children, including dysgraphia. Exercises include retraining the brain through copy work and gross motor activities. She identifies dysgraphia as the most common learning block of gifted children and offers many resources for helping children move beyond the disability.

When therapy is given the college try and is clearly not helping, “accommodation” is recommended. Helping children live with dysgraphia often includes teaching cursive as it can be easier letter formation than printing.  Early keyboard training can help diminish frustration, however giving up on handwriting is not recommended. Public schools are able or sometime required to offer diagnosed children therapy or appropriate classroom help, such as a keyboard, or note-taker or alternate testing methods.

Check out these websites for more information:

ncld.org: National Center for Learning Disabilities

Nototherwisespecified.typepad.com: Sara Gardner’s blog (mother of a child with dysgraphia)

Diannecraft.org: Expert in treating childhood learning “glitches.”

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who hopes that this blog will get some frustrated children the help they need to succeed.

I admire you parents who are naturally great time managers.  However I suspect some of you can relate to me. As family life has gotten more complicated, I’ve had trouble keeping everyone and everything running smoothly.

image from guardian.co.uk.

Increasingly I’ve felt like a dummy. “How in the world did Margaret Thatcher lead England?” I lamented with hands thrown in the air after forgetting something or being late—again!

How could Mrs. Thatcher lead England?  Or how can anyone manage a tremendously complicated life? It’s simply this:  We don’t ask our brain to do something which it is not suited to do.

According to time.thoughts.com, “Your memory is not made for storing and recalling variable types of information. There’s a point at which it can’t handle any more.”

When we do predictable manual work, our brains don’t have any trouble remembering.  By contrast, when we are doing highly variable knowledge work, our memory is overtaxed.

For example, if I get the preschool phone list, but I don’t put it in a specific place where I know I can access it at will, my brain can’t let go.  “Where is that list?” I subconsciously wonder.  If I know it is in my phone folder, I can access the info effortlessly when needed.

Therefore, we simply need to use tools to help our brains retrieve the information we need.  When we get these systems in place, our brains rest and are much more productive instead of filled with anxiety consciously or sub-consciously.

No wonder I’ve felt like a dummy.  I mistakenly thought a good brain is itself a retrieval and storage system! The key to a rested and productive brain is a good EXTERNAL information retrieval and storage system. Or in the case of Margaret Thatcher, a staff of people to remember things for you.

Here are a few ideas I’m using to get started:

1. Write things down. Keep a notebook in the car, in your purse, by the bed, wherever you might need it.  Get into the habit of noting things so that you can forget them until needed. I learned that for years my husband has been in the practice of carrying a small notebook in his pocket as his creative brain spins out ideas. “If I don’t write them down, they are gone,” he said.

2. Capture information systematically such that you can easily retrieve it.  I’ve put together a rudimentary system: a ring binder with 5 sections: to-do, to-buy, writing, and small group, and homeschool. It’s a work in progress.

The good news is, I’m not a dummy and neither are you!  When we constantly forget stuff, we’re asking too much of our brains.

Already I feel so much smarter. My brain is significantly de-stressed.  My confidence has had a boost.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who is now open to running for president.

I’m planning on fixing some green mashed potatoes for my family this year—to carry on the tradition.  I’ve also found some recipes to accompany my green spuds: Irish Soda bread and Corned Beef and Cabbage.  I’ve included a recipe for Guinness Irish Stew for those who don’t care for corned beef and who must have some beer on the menu for it to really be St. Patrick’s Day.

Irish Soda Bread
4 c. flour
4 T white sugar
1 t baking soda
1 T baking powder
½ t salt
½ c butter
1 c buttermilk
1 egg
¼ c butter, melted
¼ c buttermilk

Preheat oven to 375.  Lightly grease baking sheet.  Mix dry ingredients. Add 1 c buttermilk and 1 egg.  Turn dough out onto lightly floured board. Knead slightly. Form into round loaf. With a sharp knife, lightly cut a cross into the top. Combine melted butter and ¼ c. buttermilk.  Brush loaf with mixture.  Bake 30-50 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.  If desired, keep brushing loaf with butter mixture throughout baking process.

Irish Boiled Dinner  (Corned Beef & Cabbage)
1- 5 ½ pound corned beef brisket
2 lg. onions
15 small white (Irish) potatoes
10 carrots
2 heads of cabbage

Rinse brisket, place in large pot.  Add water to cover.  Peel onions, place in pot with roast.  Bring to a boil.  Cook 30 minutes at rolling boil.  Reduce heat, simmer covered for 3 ½ house.

Remove onions and cut into wedges. Return to the pot. Add carrots and place cabbage over meat. Place potatoes on top of cabbage. Cook covered for 30 minutes or until potatoes are tender.  Remove veggies and put in serving bowl. Slice corned beef and serve.

Guinness Irish Stew
2 T olive oil
1 onion, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 t salt
½ t ground black pepper
2 lbs. beef stew meat
3 c. stout beer (Guinness)
2 potatoes, peeled and sliced
2 potatoes peeled and quartered
Salt/pepper to taste

Bring to a boil, cover and simmer for 2 hours

Hope your St. Patrick’s Day is a memorable culinary adventure!

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who thinks a Reuben sandwich would taste really good right now.

Here’s the next batch of favorite things to consider:

Cloth Diaper Blankies
My most helpful children’s item EVER is the cloth diaper – but not for their usual use!!!  Use cloth diapers with your baby from day one – as a burp cloth, then as a blanket.  Every time I picked up my babies, I threw one over my shoulder.  They smelled and felt familiar and safe to the baby.  I put one under their head at night, spread flat.  When we got in the car seat, it went next to their head.  My three year old daughter still uses them as a “lovie.”  When they wear out, I can buy a 12 pack and no one knows the difference (as long as you buy the same thickness of diaper.  My kids always shunned the few thick cloth diapers we had in the pile.  The thinner the more snuggly.)   When they wear out, they become the best dust cloths ever.  And they spark happy memories for the older kids.  “Was that my blankie when I was a baby?”  Smile.

Agave Wash Cloth
My favorite thing is my agave wash cloth, described here:  Flower Valley Ayate Hand-Woven Natural Agave Washcloth restores and stimulates skin to invigorating freshness. Ayate Washcloth is an excellent exfoliator for beautiful skin, and better than a loofa because it is long-lasting, quick drying, and resists mold. (Super important here in Seattle!) When soaked in water, the natural fibers expand and the weave tightens like magic. The Ayate Washcloth is also useful in the kitchen as an efficient mar-free utility cloth. The Ayate Washcloth is hand-woven from agave (century plant) and imported from Mexico.

Pretty cheap too! You can order online here.

Tea Tree Oil
I have just been thinking how much I love tea tree oil.  I use it for many things.  It is a great disinfectant.  I put just a few drops in a spray bottle with some water and use it to clean surfaces in the kitchen and bath.  I also use it on the cruddy scalp that my kids sometimes get.  Helps with athlete’s foot too.

Burt’s Bees Shea Butter Hand Repair Cream with Cocoa Butter and Sesame Oil
Because I travel so much, I buy it in an airline carry-on approved diminutive size of 0.5 oz.  Love it!

Both Tea Tree Oil and Burt’s Bees products are available at most drug and grocery stores or can be ordered online.

Good Earth Original Sweet and Spicy Tea and Herb Blend Tea
My husband and I drink the Good Earth Original Sweet and Spicy Tea and Herb Blend Tea ALL winter and summer long!! It is our favorite beverage hot or cold. It has a zip flavor so you don’t have to add any sugar and you can get in caffeinated or non. Good Earth Teas are available at most grocery stores.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who is interested in hearing what your favorite products are:  email me at dvdetweiler@gmail.com

I’m on an exciting journey–revisiting the concept of time management in my current stage of life. As a single person with a full-time job, I felt in control of my time. I practiced moderate goal setting with good success. Then I got married and had kids. My scheduled life went out the window with colicky babies and I never really got it back.

But lately, I’ve sensed the need for help.  As mom who is also a home school teacher and free-lance writer, my life has gotten increasingly more complicated. The need for time management has grown more acute. Hence, I’m researching the subject of time management, keeping in mind the complexity of my life. I’m not interested in some impractical, rigid schedule that drives me and my family nuts–and is a recipe for failure and guilt. I’m looking for ideas that bring peace to my life, promote creativity, and increase productivity.

Here’s what I’ve found so far.

Surprisingly, time management is primarily about making decisions.  One writer said, “Life is a sequence of big and small choices. It is those choices that you really manage, not the flow of time.” No wonder time management is challenging for some of us.  I don’t make decisions quickly or easily, perhaps because I always want to make the perfect decision.

What can help me determine more quickly which decision is best?  This is where goal setting comes in.

“Many people have not spent enough time thinking about what they want from life. They haven’t set formal goals. Would you set out on a major journey with no real idea of your destination?”

If we’re honest, many of us would admit we’re frantically traveling to who-knows-where!

“Success is knowing what you want and then directing action towards it.”

And another old saying: “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.”

I’m learning that I need to take time to think about where I’m going in the different areas of life that matter most to me; my marriage, my children’s schooling and character development, my spiritual life and professional growth for example.  I need to figure out what I’m shooting for.

It helped me to consider the concept of aiming. It takes quiet concentration. Your eye focuses on the target–something out in front of you. Your hand coordinates with the eye to put the target in its sights. After steadying the aim, you release power in the direction of the target. If the aim is good, the target is hit.

The aim of time management is to move me toward my goals.  When I stop to aim, I consider the results of my actions ahead of time. I ask the worthy questions, “Is this really what I want to do?”  “Will this make a positive difference in my life or the lives of those I love?” “Knowing I have limited energy to expend, is this goal worth the effort?”

“Goal setting is a process for thinking about your ideal future and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality.”

I didn’t expect getting back into time management would lead me first and foremost into soul searching. Hardly the strait-jacket experience I nervously anticipated. I don’t mind a cup of coffee, a yellow pad and pen, and a couple hours of prayerful dreaming about I might like the future to hold for me and my loved ones.

I can already feel the calming benefit of attempting to take my time by the tail.

Posted by Donna Detweiler who found inspiration and the above quotes at mindtools.com, time-management-guide.com, and asianefficiency.com.

So, I’ve been researching time management.  I’m not looking for a quick fix, flash-in-the-pan program or even a return to my former goal-setting ways. I’m seeking fresh ideas that generate out of where I am in life now–my crazy mom-life. It seems so unmanageable—it can’t be squashed into a box.  It has a ton of variety. It ebbs and flows with a vigorous and versatile family schedule and my energy level.  But I’m ready to try some innovative time management in spite of the challenges.

I’m full of anticipation as I read and listen. I have a hunch this process might just be the portal into the next phase of growth for me and my family.

You’re welcome to join me as I explore parent-friendly time management.  By googling “Time Management,” I’ve already discovered some online resources– fresh thinking, helpful articles, click-on-your-answer diagnostic tests. Incidentally, on one test I scored so low it said: “Ouch, The good news is you have a great opportunity to improve your time management skills.” Perhaps you too have no place to go but up!  I’ll be sharing insights gleaned from many sources in the coming days and weeks. We’ll see if the Titanic can turn around.

Posted by Donna Detweiler, who took the online test at MindTools.com for those who are interested.