When do you start having hopes and dreams for your children? I know that a lot of women (and men) will answer this question by saying “from the moment we conceived”. But I have to answer this question with kind of a shoulder shrug. I can honestly say that up until about a month ago, I had no dreams for my little guy (he’s almost 8 months). Of course I have the big ones, like I hope he’s polite and gentlemanly and I just know he’s going to be cute! But I’m talking about discovering talents and how are they going to be creative and what kind of person are they going to be.
I was sitting in a class of Jr. Highers when I started thinking about dreams. An adult couple had brought in some examples of things they meant a lot to them. One was made by one of his sons who was about 11 years old. This particular item was a little figurine that was made out of household stuff; pipe cleaners, toilet paper rolls, googly eyeballs, felt and a hot glue gun. The figurine was skating on a skateboard and had shoes and hair and everything. I was totally impressed!
I could tell that a lot of man-hours had been put into this craft. After getting over the initial awe, there were two things that struck me most. First, it was how the dad was talking about his son. He was so proud of what his son created by himself, with just time and things around the house. It was really neat to see this dad speak aloud what made him proud!
The second thing that hit my core was how the son (who was in the group), was excited to share his creation with his peers. He was not embarrassed in the least to show off his piece of work.
I grew up with a lot of shame in me. I was often embarrassed about what I was good at or not good at. I never had a problem with standing up in front of a ton of people and singing a solo, but put me in a small group and I was mortified by what people would think of me. I’m a people pleaser and that sometimes gets the best of me. It’s only been in recent years I will ‘own’ who I am. I’m learning to not be ashamed of what my interests are and I am free to share that with people instead of keeping it in.
So, how does this relate to dreams? Well, knowing where I have come from, I know that I want my son to be proud of who he is. Watching this 11 year old be so proud of what he created is what I want my son to have. Putting myself as a peer to this 11 year old, I would have totally thought that he was weird; as an adult, this is what I so admire about this kid! He stuck to his guns when sharing his creation amongst his peers and had no shame or embarrassment about what he’d done. There was an innocence that surrounded him. THIS is what I want for my son!
It wasn’t until this meeting that I really started dreaming for Miles. Whether it is music, art, math, or science, it’s going to be from him and it’s going to be great! I am so excited to see what he will become and I know that I will be a proud mama when he shares with the world who he is!
I’d like to end on a quote I read not to long ago. I saw it on Pinterest and it’s really stuck with me. In the corner of the quote there is a picture of a mother cradling her baby… The mother says, “I plan to give you love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to make you funny.”
I know that I’m not going to be the perfect mom and I’m going to make mistakes. I’m human. I need to be able to give myself grace in this parenting process. I also know that my child will not be the best at everything J But what I will strive to do is to love and support my son in whatever dreams he may have.
-posted by Miss Anna, who hopes her son will discover this world through a child’s eye, always.