Kyler, the innocent-looking perpetrator!

Kyler is synonomous with mischief.  But honestly, I thought we were past the worst of it, I think we probably are.  However, today I learned these things:

1.  When a mama smells something burning but isn’t cooking, the kitchen is the last place to look.  When she is tempted to give up looking and is sure it’s just the neighbors burning some wood, she should not give up.

2.   Examining all the wall heaters in each room making sure nothing has been stuffed into them and caught on fire, is reasonable but possibly not helpful.

3.  Looking in the oven, three times, is not helpful either.  If it wasn’t on fire the first time, it likely won’t be in 2 minutes.

4.  Enlisting children to help determine where the smoke is coming from is a good idea-maybe.

5.  Trex decking material, though very stain-resistant (per our friend Justin who built our little deck), is apparently not fire proof.

6.  Heat lamps for chickens provide a lot of heat.  Especially when aimed (or directly face down) on the deck.  In fact I’m now sure they would catch a chicken on fire were it to touch the light.

7.  Lining up all the children and asking who turned on the heat lamp and laid in on the deck with a scary/scared mama face is a quick way to get the truth.

8.  Kyler is apparently not quite done with mischief.

9.  Pretty surely, the dad is not going to be a happy one when he sees the damage.

10.  The house is still standing.  Thank goodness for that.

-posted by Karissa Strovas, Kindermusik mama  and family blogger, who assures us that no chickens were harmed in the burning of the Trex.

We all know that opposites attract!

Did you know that children learn concepts best in opposites? It’s why in your Kindermusik class, you’ll learn fast/slow, smooth/bumpy, high/low, among many other pairs. It’s why in school, addition and subtraction are taught back to back. It’s why when you begin to drive, your teacher makes sure you know where both the brake and the gas pedals are!

Learning opposites enhances vocabulary and word association, encourages sensory and motor development, develops discrimination and classification skills, and provides plenty of opportunity for fun games. The farther apart the opposite (black and white, hard and soft), the easier it is for children to master the concept. When you add an interactive approach, this learning becomes highly enjoyable.

Here’s a few “opposite” activities:

When doing these, be sure to label the opposite words. (It’s pretty easy to forget to do that, as we adults already know the vocabulary!)

• Try tasting some opposite things like sweet sugar and sour lemon.
• Sort round cans and square boxes when putting away the groceries.
• Music is full of opposites. Put on your favorite piece of Kindermusik (or music with pitch or tempo variation), and move high and low, or fast and slow.
• Sing a song silly! (High and then low, or fast and then slow.)
• Move. Go and stop. Take big steps, and little steps. Go under, go over.
• Open and shut the doors. Or cupboards. Cause seriously, if they don’t learn both opening and shutting in a pair now, your fridge is going to constantly be left open when they are a bit older!
• Identify back or front. Left or right. Short and tall. Boy or girl. Young or old. Dirty or clean. Empty or full.
• Feel the objects around you. Hard or soft? Rough or smooth? Hot or cold?
• Read some opposite books, and talk about what you see. Here’s some favorites: Dinosaur Roar, by Paul and Henrietta Stickland. Big Dog, Little Dog, by P.D. Eastman. The Foot Book, by Dr. Seuss.

Even babies learn opposites. Talk to your baby as you go throughout the day, and emphasize the opposite words with your vocal inflection. “I’m going to pick you up.” “We are going down the stairs.”

Really, the possibilities are endless. Just have fun with it!

-posted by Miss Analiisa, whose two oldest children are oil and water.

In my last blog, “I Like Me! – part 1,” I discussed how important healthy self-esteem is to a child’s development.  Good self-esteem is an essential component of their future success and satisfaction in life.  As parents, we can intentionally contribute to the positive development of their self-esteem.

Laura Beck, author of Development through the Lifespan, suggests five ways to foster healthy self-esteem in children: 

1. Build a positive relationship–Put aside your agenda at times to give 100% of your attention to your child. Listen.  Share some of your thoughts and feelings. When an adult listens to a child, (s)he feels valued.

2.  Nurture success—Try to have appropriate expectations for your child’s performance and assist them when a task is beyond their capability.  Praise the child for specific accomplishments and display their artwork and other projects, pointing out increasing skill.

3. Foster freedom to choose—Kids love to have a say. Give them appropriate opportunities to make decisions, but be careful.  Too many choices easily overwhelm a young child.  Our current parenting culture actually errs more on the side of giving children too many choices.  Strive for balance here.

4. Acknowledge the child’s emotions—Boy, did I blow this one last week when my son was mad that his team lost in basketball. Instead of affirming his good effort and giving him sympathy and comfort, allowing him to feel the disappointment, I essentially scolded him for expressing his negative feeling. If I could do it over, I would “teach” on handling negative emotions after allowing him to experience my acceptance.

5.  Use a rational approach to discipline–Yelling or unpredictable outbursts in response to problematic behavior in our children is a problematic behavior in itself.  Unpleasant emotional behavior in the parent causes the child to experience fear or anger instead of being able to deal with the situation.  Reasonable discipline keeps the focus on the behavior and promotes self-control and self-confidence in the child.  This happens when the parent uses self-control and self-confidence in the dealing with the problem.  This is easier said than done when our emotions get involved.  I’m always seeking to improve in this area.

Children with good self-esteem are on the road to a productive, satisfying life.  Self-esteem provides them with a valuable resource to handle inevitable difficulties that come along.  They believe they can handle the challenges that life brings. They don’t turn in on themselves in insecurity and self-condemnation, but depend on themselves and others in a healthy way as they function in a fulfilling social context.

-posted by Donna Detweiler who is grateful for parents who modeled a healthy self-esteem.  As the saying goes, “more is caught than taught!”

Of all the traits we long to see in our children, such as athleticism, poise or smarts, good self-esteem would likely fall near or at the top of our lists. Why?  Because we all recognize that good self-esteem goes a long way, even making up for lacks in other areas. 

In addition, positive self-esteem paves the way for other characteristics to develop, while low self-esteem can act like a road block. Who among us hasn’t known some incredibly gifted person who never achieved his or her potential because while everyone else believed in them, they didn’t believe in themselves?

In my last blog, I talked about how a preschooler’s self-concept begins to develop. Self-esteem is a special aspect of self-concept that begins or shows up in early childhood. Not surprisingly, young children’s self-esteem develops over time. Early on, children have uncalled for confidence. They tend to believe they can do just about anything they try—and do it well.

This trait is important as they must learn so many new skills at this stage of life. It’s not uncommon to hear a preschooler boasting, “I’m a good climber. Watch me.” or, “I can make the tallest tower.” Children tend to “believe in their own capacity,” which is a God-given nudge toward success.

Researchers note that some children are “non-persisters.” They give up when faced with difficult tasks such as cutting out a picture or working on a hard puzzle. Two studies done by Cain & Dweck and Smiley & Dweck showed that these children “conclude they can’t do the task and are discouraged after failure.”  No doubt some children and adults are more prone to harsh self-evaluation and discouragement. 

However, another study by Burhan & Dweck concluded that “non-persisting” children more often expressed fear of a parent’s punishment or negative reaction, such as “Daddy’s gonna be mad.” 

While the sensitive parent might conclude they are to blame for their child’s fearful or quitting behavior, this would be an overgeneralization because of the complexity of personality development. 

What we can learn from the above research is the certainty that parents can contribute positively to the development of a child’s self-esteem and that it is worth being intentional about doing. Through their verbal messages and response to failure, parents can give their children a boost toward good self-esteem.

In my next blog, I will give you five practical ways to foster healthy self-esteem in your children.  As you practice affirming your child’s self-esteem, you will be putting in a solid foundation for their future development. 

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who would describe herself as a “sensitive parent,” which is why she is cautioning you to take a balanced approach to this topic!

I threw in the proverbial towel.  My children looked at me with wide eyes wanting to know why mommy suddenly quit.  I started to realize how foolish my declaration sounded, so in a calmer voice I informed my kids that mommy simply needed a time out.  Again, the looks. 

My oldest finally asked, “What did you do?”  I had no idea what he was asking.  “I’m not sure I understand you, sweetie.  Can you ask me in a different way”?  His younger brother looked at him as if the wisdom of the world rested on his seven year old shoulders.  “I mean, why are you in trouble?  We get time outs when we make bad choices.  What did you do?” 

I was upset that I had spent the entire day cleaning my house, rearing my children and then topped it off by making a pleasing meal only to have nothing to show for at the end of the day.  For a minute I was yearning for the old life, the life where I was on top and in control and not at the whim of three little ones. 

As soon as I had the bathroom clean and moved on to my next task my five year old had the sudden thought that finger painting on the mirror with toothpaste would be a grand use of time and exploration.  He also followed me around all day negotiating all the boundary lines I had put into place. 

My 18 month old daughter found a green crayon that had rolled underneath the couch and decided to do her version of a Van Gogh on our slider window.  I discovered her when coming out of the laundry room looking at me sheepishly with green shavings around her mouth.  We won’t even go there!

My oldest spilled milk all over our carpet in the dining room while pouring a glass (more like a tableful!)   I spent the rest of the evening dealing with children who refused to eat a perfectly good dinner but at the same time didn’t want to go to bed hungry.  Oh, I could not wait for them to go to bed!

 My son’s question made me realize that I was focusing on the accomplishment, needing to see immediate results in order to justify what I do each day. Somehow I got into a place where I needed instant gratification in order to feel like a good mother and wife.  I did not feel like I had done anything but battle since I woke up. 

My mom use to always tell me that what I feel is real, it is indeed my reality but is not always based on truth and that in fact, the two rarely get along with each other.  As always, my mom’s words of wisdom were so right. 

Although I felt I did not accomplish anything, the truth is I accomplish more in one day than what I can immediately see.  I shape, form and fasten the characters of three precious children each and every day.  They do not realize this now, but one day they will.  My children are currently a raw resource in the process of becoming a grand piece of art and I am the artist.       

- posted by Miss Jesikah, who is still trying to figure out what makes crayons so tasty and dinner yucky!

Babies and toddlers enjoy blowing. As they practice blowing, they strengthen mouth muscles and develop awareness of their breathing, which will help their language development.

With preschoolers and early elementary, blowing develops their diaphragms and builds muscle control necessary for singing and wind instrument playing.

Blowing also helps children become aware of the fact that they can use breath to make a variety of sounds, move things, blow out candles, or create a cooling breeze.

Blowing for all ages
Blow kisses – even babies can do this!
Blow through a straw into your milk, juice or water.
Blow bubbles
Play a slide whistle or a harmonica (like the one in this semester’s Our Time)
Put a dab of watercolor or thinned tempura paint on a piece of paper. Blow on it with a straw and make beautiful designs.

For older children
Put a fluffy craft feather partially into the end of a drinking straw. Blow on the other end and see how far you can make the feather fly!
Place a ping pong ball on the table. With players on each side of the table, try to blow it off your opponent’s side with a drinking straw.
Whistle
Play a duck call or kazoo

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who wants you to breathe in through your nose, and blow out through your mouth three times right now. Don’t you feel calmer?