The Nerds saw this and although they did not want to remove technology from Google Earth, decided to gift the cheerful citizens with interactive face-to-face play once again. Going back to their roots of hero feats, battle strategy and role playing, they created a realm of board games sure to bring eye contact and non-abbreviated conversations back to the dinner table. This created a faction within the Nerd classes. New Wave Nerds prefer technology where they can instantly +1 their friends or do status updates in all they do each day; but the Geeks remembered Friday nights with pizza and board games and cherished the laughter and original human interfacing….with no technology whatsoever.

If you are a Geek (or perhaps a closet Geek, don’t worry we won’t reveal your secret to your savvy Nerd friends), be sure to check out this website for Board Game Geeks. Many games featured come with familiar hardware like dice, cards you hold in your hand or flip over (also called card drafting in Geek Speak); and boards with pieces that move as the game progresses…and moved by your own gross motor movement, too! You can join blogs, create an account posting the Geekiest games you own sharing your own reviews and even search for a new and exciting game sure to please the whole family.

Stay tuned for the next episode where the Geeks go the battle and declare victory over many new board games that have emerged from the Austrian Board Game Academy.

-posted by Miss Jesikah, who is an old school fantasy Nerd and has always stayed true to her inner-Geek. She still does not have a phone that has apps! Imagine that

Image: Tina Phillips / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I ended up watching a lot of Netflix on my iPad. And by the time I graduated to the couch I was sick of Netflix definition of my genre of choice – “Witty period pieces with a strong female lead”.

So, on to documentaries.  I watched a Nat Geo series about the Amish. The Amish have always fascinated me; I don’t know why. I wish my husband could do wood working like that. But without having to grow a long beard and give up electricity and canning everything in sight. Never mind then. I’ll keep my IT-brilliant husband just the way he is.

Anyhoo… One show followed 5 Amish young people on a trip to the UK to stay with 4 families, each for a week during their Rumspringa. (Rumspringa, or “running around”, is the term used to describe the period of adolescence Amish experience starting at around age 16, before they make the decision whether or not to join the church, characterized by an increase in social activity, and leaving the “rules” behind in regards to behaviors like dress, alcohol, music, as they wish. They then give up their cars and Blackberrys and cigarettes when they choose to become baptized.)

I’m sure that’s not a complete answer; I just wanted you to know why Amish young people from the US could take a trip to the UK to stay with non-Amish, surf in the ocean, play electric guitars and go to a nightclub, all while being followed by a camera crew.

During the documentary, there was a girl in her early twenties that said something really profound. She and her family had left one of the strictest of Amish sects just the year before. (They choose to still live relatively simply and conservatively.) In their old way of life, there was no indoor plumbing, their clothing seams had to be sewn a particular manner, they could not plant flowers, and there was no history, geography or science taught in school, among a myriad of other rules.

She had never sung outside of church or made an art project. So at one house during their trip, the artist-daughter of the host family put a cup of acrylic paint mixed with glue in her hand, handed her a chopstick, and showed her how to drizzle this mixture onto paper and make a painting.

Just imagine making your first creative, beautiful thing at the age of 22. Something for which there was no right or wrong way to do it. This young woman’s face just lit up. Her countenance was alive and joyous, from the inside out. I think that by painting this picture, she experienced true freedom for the first time in her life. 

And then she said, “I think too many rules stifle creativity.” That’s profound. And relevant. Rules are good. Boundaries are important. But with too many, creativity can be stifled. As a mom and teacher, I need to protect my children from being stifled.

Sometimes that means protecting them from my silly rules. Will my Kindergartener fail to learn her math facts if I don’t demand she do the full 3 pages of math on my agenda, when she really wants to just draw and write a lot today? No, you shouldn’t make your own chocolate milk because you might make a mess. You can’t wear that. It doesn’t match. You’re wasting the glitter! Let me cut your meat for you. You don’t do it right.

Silly rules that stifle creativity? I hope not in my house anymore.  You want to compose your own piece of music on the violin and write it down? Go for it. You still have to practice your lesson music, but you can also spend as much time as you wish writing and playing “Land of Slowness”. (I kid you not, that’s the title.)

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who learned how to be a better parent after listening to the voice of reason coming from a most unexpected source.

In my final blog, I want to provide you with some words to use when you are working with the challenging behavior of children.

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Am I inspiring self-evaluation or dependence on the evaluation of others?
• Am I being respectful or patronizing?
• Am I helping them discover how to act or trying to manipulate their behavior?
• Am I seeing the child’s point of view or my own?
• Would I make this comment to a friend or neighbor?

 It is important to provide a connection before correction:

1. State clear expectations… “As soon as you finish, you may… ”
2. Respond with a question… “Would you like to do this by yourself, or do you want/need help?”
3. State a given (i.e. rule or condition)… “I can’t let you do that, those words are hurtful.” “The balls stay outside.” “It’s not time for that now. It’s ok to be disappointed.”
4. Check his/her understanding… “Tell me how we’re solving this problem.” “What’s the next step before we can… ”
5. Invite cooperation… “I need your help with this.”
6. Limit choices… “Would you like to put this away now or after dinner?”
7. Say what you want and mean… “I want you to use your body in a different way. That feels unsafe. Try this… ”
8. Negotiate an agreement… “I can’t let you do that, it hurts her body. But you can climb up this way.”
9. Use non-verbal language such as a hand on the shoulder or a secret nod.
10. Follow through… “Time to… now”. Be sure to follow through yourself. Don’t use the word “now” if you’ll get busy and forget to follow through.

Most of all, anticipate and be ok with mistakes. They are opportunities to learn. We all make them. Remember to recover from a mistake.

• Re-gather: Everyone has had ample time to calm down.
• Recognize: “Whoops, I made a mistake.”
• Reconcile: “I’m sorry.”
• Re-solve: “How can we work together to make it better?”

-posted  by Teacher Aaron, who wants to remind you to think about how these tactics work best for you and your family. Share them with your parenting partner and keep the discussion going!

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tips for when YOU have flipped your lid:

• Recognize what it feels like physically: fast heart beats, redness of the face and neck, sense of urgency. Learn your body’s warning signs.
• Recognize what it feels like mentally: An inability to think calmly and clearly. Thoughts that repeat or go in circles. A sense of urgency
• Take a time out from the situation and calm down: Recognize that continued engagement won’t help. Take a moment to calm down and breathe. Remove yourself.
• Focus on your breathing: Do it slowly. In and out.
• Use large muscles: walk, run, bike, do push-ups, or yoga. Anything to keep yourself moving.
• Try engaging your cortex: Do mental math, count backwards, list facts. Anything to slow the pace.
• Notice why you’re in “survival mode.” This situation makes me feel vulnerable because I’m not being heard, I’m not being respected, etc. Don’t take it personally. Your brain thinks it’s about survival, when it really isn’t.

Tips for when THEY have flipped their lid (child or adult):

• Watch for signs in the other person: Intense emotions, disjointed sentences, irrational action, flushed/red face.
• Notice your body: Use those mirror neurons. Get down on the child’s level. Be calm and speak slowly. Use simple words. This makes it easier for them to calm down too. Don’t let their “flipped lid” catch you off guard.
• Remember safety: People unable to use their cortex act irrationally and can be physically dangerous. Be calm, stay aware, and move slowly.
• Acknowledge feelings: Use few words and speak slowly. “I can tell you’re frustrated” or “I see tears running down your face, you must be sad.”
• Talk TO them not AT them: Don’t make fast movements. They may want to be touched or they may not want to be touched, be aware of what their body language is telling you. If they want to leave (and it is safe), let them.
• Give them space, don’t crowd: Don’t give complicated directions (they cannot process them), keep it simple. Don’t demand from them.
• Invite them to take a CDT (Cool Down Time): This is similar to a time-out, but instead is non-punitive. This works best as an option, not a command.
• Simple tasks engage his/her cortext: Ask him how his name is spelled. Ask her to count to ten. Math and literacy are both great ways to do this.
• Ask for their help: Finally, when they begin to de-escalate, change their focus by asking for their help. “I can tell you aren’t ready to play yet, but can you help me get these things from the cupboard?” or “I know you can’t go back to work yet, but could you help me by…?”

The foundation of the tools to helping young children self-regulate is the relationships we build with them. Discipline means not just what we do during moments of challenging behavior, but how we encourage children to be better people. This is a concept adopted from Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson. Positive discipline

inspire with courage.”

We do this by helping children self-evaluate themselves (“tell me about it” or “what do you think?”). Instead of conformity (“you did it right”, “I’m so proud of you”), build empathy (“I can see you enjoyed that”, “what do you think and feel?”). Appreciate them by being specific (“I appreciate your help with…” or “who can show me the proper way to sit?”).

Tomorrow, I’ll give you some helpful words and phrases to use in the process of discipline.

-posted by Teacher Aaron, who takes some hot tea to a quiet corner when he’s flipped his lid.

We want to understand:

1. how we make meaning of our experiences
2. how challenging behavior is a solution to a different problem
3. what are the practical tools for young children to self-regulate
4. the recovery tools in developing minds
5. how to use several tools for improving relationships with young children

As irrational as it sometimes appears, we know that behavior is always purposeful. The purpose of behavior is to find belonging (a sense of connection) and meaning (significance). People make decisions based on how they perceive the world. A perception leads to an interpretation which leads to a belief, and then a decision based on that belief which leads back to a new perception. Children do this all the time. They use their senses to make interpretations. “How heavy is this block?” “What does tomato soup smell like?” “I can see steam; that must mean it’s hot.” “When I see a black bird, I notice it makes a certain sound.” Children make these interpretations in an effort to organize the world around them.

So when there is a “problem,” it really is a solution to another problem that we just are not aware of yet. A child who is “misbehaving” is, rather, discouraged. Children want to feel a sense of community. Being in one and contributing to it. We need to teach children ways to accomplish their goals that are appropriate and safe. By encouraging a child instead of discouraging them, we give them the power to solve problems autonomously.

This happens when we:

• Teach life skills to children.
• Pay attention to the power of perception.
• Focus on encouragement (connection and presence with  children).
• Be kind and firm at the same time.
• Look to mutual respect. Respect for yourself. Respect for the situation. Respect for the needs of the child.
• Celebrate mistakes as opportunities to learn.
• Look to solutions rather than punishment.

These are the building blocks for effective discipline. Parents struggle with this word all the time. “What is discipline and how can I be sure it’s appropriate?” Taken from Adler, a prominent child developmentalist, effective discipline helps children feel a sense of community by being mutually respectful and encouraging. What is the child thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about herself in her world? What does he do in the future to survive and thrive? So it is effective long term. Discipline teaches important social and life skills such as respect for others, problem solving, cooperation, and contributing to the world around him. It also helps a child to discover how capable she truly is.

Tomorrow I’ll talk about some tips for when that mid-brain takes over and the challenging behavior comes out. There are tips for when your child “flips her lid” and for when YOU flip your lid.

-posted by Teacher Aaron, who is a Preschool Director in his other, non-Kindermusik life!

The special thing about this book is that it has excerpts from real moms who documented how they were feeling week by week as their baby was growing. They would also document what their babies were doing as the weeks were going by as well. Again, for me, this was reassurance to know that each baby has different temperaments and is going to grow differently.

Miles at 5 weeks.

Here’s an example: I remember when Miles hit the 5 week mark. He was very fussy and it was very hard to get him to sleep. He would put up the greatest fight to go down and sometime he never made it down. He just cried the whole time until his next feeding.

This is when I picked up The Wonder Weeks and started reading as fast as I could! Well, wouldn’t you know, 5 weeks is when babies have their first fussy time, which leads into a ‘magical leap forward’.

After we made it through the 5^th week, both my husband and I realized that Miles was actually responding to music and he was starting to notice and play with his hands! He had started showing off his new skills that he was processing through during his fussy time.  What a pleasure to be able to watch and participate in his learning.  We were able to enjoy this because we knew what to expect.

Another thing that has been helpful about  The Wonder Weeks, is that there is a graph in the beginning of the book that charts out predicted fussy times. I’m a visual person, so this is very nice. I can quickly flip to this chart and see where Miles fits age-wise and see if he is in a sunny period (his personality is shining through) or a stormy period (more fussy than normal).

Here is one last example: Miles has been really cranky lately. I’ve stopped telling people how many weeks he is because I just can’t keep track. So, when people ask how old he is I’ll say 3 ½ months instead of weeks. But because he has been so cranky lately, I decided to count the weeks and check the chart in this book. Sure enough, Miles is in a stormy period and things are changing.

Miles has been very testy when it comes to sleeping. He has been having a really hard time going down and we can’t figure it out. He also doesn’t like my husband putting him down. He will cry and cry and cry with Casey, but then I’ll take him and he’ll quiet right down. This process has been really rough for both Casey and I because Casey feels rejected and I feel like I don’t get a break.

Miles at 17 weeks.

After counting how many weeks old Miles is, 17 weeks, he falls smack in the middle of a fussy time. I should’ve known! So, I just opened the book to refresh my memory about some of the changes that are going to be happening to Miles and about every description in the book is exactly what Miles is going through. Trouble sleeping, being cranky, shyness of strangers, entertaining him while he is awake; all of these things are written in this book and documented by the Moms who participated in journaling what their child was doing during this time. Talk about not feeling alone!

I am so grateful for this book, The Wonder Weeks. It has helped me a lot with being patient with my baby and myself. It will be a go-to book for me as Miles grows and gets older.

-posted by Miss Anna, who will be recommending this book to every Mom that she knows, and thinks that if you get the chance, you should check it out.

People have recommended books galore for us to read, Baby Wise, The Baby Whisperer, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Happiest Baby On The Block and the list goes on.  Being the new mom that I am, I figured that I should start reading up on some of these so I can know what I’m doing, right?

Newborn Miles (before the fussies start)

Well, I remember my second day alone with Miles and my mom had said she was headed over to help and hang out. As soon as she opened the door to our apartment, I burst into tears! It had been an awful day the day before and a really tough night. I was so ready for some reinforcements by the dawn’s early light!

While being able to process out loud some of my thoughts, I realized that I was carrying a ton of weight on my shoulders about how Miles should conduct his days and nights. All of these books were telling me how to do things and I was thought that I was gleaning from all of them. I would read a book and then try to put into practice what they had ‘suggested’.

Finally, I realized that my sweet baby boy did not fit into any book! He is his own little person and he has to figure out a schedule of his own. His tummy will tell him when he is hungry and his eyes will tell him when he is tired.  And as for being a mom, I had to trust my instincts and listen to my baby.  So, I returned all the books to the various friends and libraries and set out on my own to figure this new thing out!

With all of this new information being thrown my way, I did retain some. One book, however, I pick up and read as Miles grows. This book is called The Wonder Weeks. I have to say, this book is such a lifesaver to me! If anything, this book gives me peace of mind that whenever I couldn’t and can’t figure out what is going on with my new little one, he is more than likely growing. And with that, comes a whole bunch of changes in behavioral patterns.

This book covers the 10 fussiest phases in a baby’s first year and a half. Through these fussy phases come wonderful leaps forward in a baby’s development. He learns new skills through these fussy times and is proud to show them when they are through the storm.

If anything, this book taught me to let go of having control. To know that if Miles is in a proven ‘fussy time’, that his normal day to day patterns might be a little off. So if he wants to eat every 2 hours and sleep for 4, it’s ok. If he is staying awake for 3 hours at a time, it’s ok. If he is crying and clinging to me, it’s ok (even if I’m totally annoyed with this!).

-posted by Miss Anna, who will tell you the rest of the story (aka “magical leaps forward”) tomorrow.

The celebration of Advent dates back to the 4^th century.  Converts to Christianity observed Advent as a season of preparation for baptism. In the Middle Ages, Advent was a time to look forward to the 2^nd coming of Christ.  The traditional observance of Advent still celebrated today involves the anticipation of the nativity.  By lighting a candle on each of the four Sundays leading up to Christmas day, Christians prepare to celebrate his birth on Christmas day. While many people still celebrate the religious aspects of Advent, the use of Advent calendars has become part of the secular observance of Christmas too.

The earliest Advent calendars probably originated in Germany. German Lutherans in the 19^th century would draw chalk lines on their doors to help children count down the days until Christmas. Lighting 24 candles was another common practice.

The first handmade Advent calendars began in Hamburg, Germany. Soon, a printer in Munich named Gerhard Lang created the standard Advent calendar still recognizable today.  He glued 24 little colored pictures to cardboard and then attached another piece of cardboard with 24 matching doors on top. His company, Reichheld Lang Printing Co. marketed 30 designs. In 1930, they were forced to close when cardboard was rationed during WWII.

After the war, Richard Sellmer Verlag of Stuttgart, Germany, began to print the calendars again.  Today, this enduring company continues to carry a stock of 1,000 calendars.

Advent calendars come in a variety of styles ranging from inexpensive traditional designs, to more expensive 3D Lego versions and everything in between!  Handmade Advent calendars are a popular craft this time of year. Just google “Homemade Advent Calendars” and you’ll find many easy –to-make ideas.

A 1946 newspaper article showed President Eisenhower’s grandchildren gleefully opening up doors on a “Little Town Advent Calendar.”  Subsequently, the popularity of these calendars soared in the US. Of course. Advent calendars capture children’s anticipatory nature the world over.

Click on this link for more information on the history of Advent and the Advent calendar.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who remembers how excited she was each morning to discover what tiny picture of a toy was behind the numbered door on her Advent calendar!

When I started teaching for Studio3 I was pregnant with my son. I have always had sharks in my class, both boys and girls (there is no gender bias for being a shark). I saw caregivers running after them, fretting that they were not participating in class. I always told them the same thing, “Let them move. They are learning what they need to learn, how they need to learn.”

I also pontificated about Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences. I had devoted a good portion of my thesis in graduate school to his theory that human beings have nine different kinds of intelligence reflecting different ways of interacting with the world. This results in the need for different modalities of learning. I assured them that their children are kinesthetic learners who need to move to absorb information. It was easy for me to say. I had seen it in my classroom for years while teaching other people’s children. It wasn’t my child. I couldn’t empathize. Then, Jude came along…

At first, he was his sweet little baby self in Village with Miss Allison. Cooing, drooling, clapping on command, essentially the most darling baby on the planet, right? As a shark, Jude never walked. He crawled and then started running. I couldn’t believe how quickly those little legs could go. I would be sweating bullets just making sure he didn’t launch himself off of our front porch.

We moved him up to Our Time around 17 months. He knew Miss Allison, he LOVED Miss Allison and yet his shark-like qualities could not be reined in by Miss Allison. The other children would be circle dancing their tushies off and Jude would be climbing the cubbies. The other children would dance beautifully with the scarves, while Jude would be opening and closing file cabinets. I felt like he was being disruptive. Why was I bringing him to a class where he wasn’t participating? Was this for him or me?

About the second or third week into Our Time, something very strange happened. We were in the kitchen and Jude started singing. He’s always been super musical, so this wasn’t surprising, but then he started to do something with his hands. He was singing and dancing “Liza Jane”!

As the weeks continued Jude kept showing us what he learned when we got home. He would take sticks and sing the hello song. He would drum and sing “Aiken Drum” with the freeze on the word moon. I wanted to cry with joy (in fact I think I did a couple of times). It was working! My advice worked for my kid too! I felt validated. Dang, I’m smart!

Now my little shark is two. He’s a mover, a shaker and an Our Timer. He still moves around while Miss Allison is teaching, but I know he is learning what he needs to learn, how he needs to learn. Parents of sharks, unite and surrender! Let them move and they will show you what they learn.

-posted by Miss Steph, momma to one shark with ants in his pants who likes to dance.

The chapter on how our brains become wired is mind blowing.  That’s a bad pun, but it’s true!  As learning takes place, neural connections blow apart, or split, creating new connections. Like a highway system continually under construction, more learning equals more complex neural connections crisscrossing the brain. More is good! Medina points out interesting research done on the brains of violin performers for example.  Their brains resembled Seattle’s Spaghetti Bowl (For you non-Seattle readers, it is a complex section of highway on and off ramps south of town.)

It all starts at infancy, when the brain is hyper-developing.  A three-year-old’s brain has two to three times the neural connections in specific regions.  But he doesn’t get to keep them.  Interestingly, by the time the child reaches eight, his brain development is “pruned” and back to normal.  Then in puberty, another phase of frenetic neural growth happens until age 18 is reached. Doesn’t that explain a lot!

Just as kids come in all shapes and sizes in spite of age, Medina is quick to point out that brains develop as uniquely as bodies.  Early and late bloomers are encompassed in “normal,” even with respect to the brain. However, what we learn creates a unique neural configuration. So our brains are customized based on our experiences, like the violin player’s.  The modern science of brain mapping, where scientists can track the neurons firing (called “lighting up”), showed that even twins have individualized brains because of their unique responses to similar events.

Messy World of Brain Development

Every brain learns differently, concludes Medina and other brain researchers.  One neurosurgeon, Howard Gardner, wrote a book about his findings. Called Frames of Mind; the Theory of Multiple Intelligences, Gardner suggests other intelligences besides the old IQ measurement exist. His list includes: Verbal/linguistic, musical/rhythmic, logical/math, spatial, bodily/kinesthetic, interpersonal/intrapersonal, and nature.  Logically, different brain configurations would equal different skill sets. Brain surgeon, George Ojemann, maps brains and then does surgery to allow epileptic patients to get relief from seizures. As he stimulates different regions of the brain to find the trouble areas, he has observed that no universal regions for specific functions exist in the brain. That means that approximately 7 billion unique brains inhabit planet earth today.

Brain research merely reveals something we parents and teachers already know.  There are no two kids under our roofs, in our classrooms, or in our neighborhoods that are exactly alike. And as we pour our hearts into educating our kids to the best of our abilities, it is a very inexact science.  Medina concludes that exact thing:  “The ability to understand the interior motivations of someone else and the ability to construct a predictable theory of how their mind works based on that knowledge” is what is needed to help students learn.  We need to be students of our students!  And that takes time and proximity.  As we live and work with our kids, experience will help us discern the best ways for “teaching to be transformed into learning.”

Remember my failed experience teaching my daughter about Johnny Appleseed?  What I’ve learned about brain wiring tells me that it’s ok that my kid’s learning process is messy. My daughter’s singular after-class memory of “Jerry Somebody” provides clues into how her brain works. As I continue to observe how she learns best, it will lead to more insights and a better learning experience. My expectations are shifting as I understand there are no teaching formulas.  Finesse and success will come with experience.  And that’s what has given me an excitement equaling a coffee buzz!

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who finds the uniqueness of brains both exhilarating and exasperating!