Back several months. Rob had just finished vision therapy, which for us, was the missing piece of our sensory journey. We’d already done occupational therapy, physical therapy, water therapy, seen a sensory motor specialist, and finished speech therapy. At this point, you can meet Rob and you wouldn’t know he’s a sensory kid. I thought the rest of this schooling year would sort of be an all-come-together year. So much for my plan.

Do I have to post a picture relevant to this post? Just my dimpled Rob turning 10. Oh wait! Our grammar chant charts are on the wall. Grammar = homeschooling = relevant. It works.

Yesterday, I was doing Singapore Math with Rob. And suddenly, he looked at me and said, “I don’t remember how to divide.” Three weeks ago his violin playing took a huge leap backward. His biggest complaint was that (and I quote), “I can’t keep all the information straight in my head.” I’m having lots of trouble getting punctuation rules to stick in his brain, too.

I’ve noticed over the last couple of months that all he wants to do is PLAY. With his friends. And read. For hours. This from the kid who a year ago couldn’t read for more than 15 minutes without his eyes getting tired. That doesn’t mean, of course, that he doesn’t do school. He does. He likes grammar and history and anatomy and physiology especially.

But yesterday, I kept thinking, “How could we get this far and do division all the time, and suddenly, you can’t do it?” It seemed to appear so out of the blue, that I thought that perhaps I just had my head in the clouds and wasn’t paying attention and finally noticed what was going on. Where had I missed the signs?

So I emailed Jesikah, who used to be my assistant, and now bears the more lofty title of Director of Operations. She’s my email therapist, sometimes, too. (She’s also the mother of Rob’s best friends.)

I wrote –

He’s so struggled in some areas at school this year – it’s not a cognitive thing. His brain has just had difficulty processing all the information now flowing in (thanks to vision therapy). However, I feel like I’ve failed him somehow this year. We haven’t accomplished as much as we’ve needed to.

And then I got back the most amazing response –

The Montessori teacher told me recently that some years the children really pour themselves into academics, and some years their social/emotional development needs are so much that it is a distraction against academics and not much is accomplished there…but social/emotional needs are more important than academics – it is what makes us good husbands/wives, parents, friends, siblings, good students and even employees… At the end of one’s life, we always want to be better spouses, better parents, better friends…we never regret that we weren’t as academic as we could have been. Children have a knack for catching up academically, too.

You have not failed Rob. Perhaps, this is a growing year for him socially/emotionally, which is why school is so hard for him. Those other needs are more important at the moment, even if he is incapable of expressing those sentiments.

Thank you, Jesikah. The fact that as a fourth grader, Rob’s brain has felt the need to do something else for his development (rather than what I want it to do), is perfectly okay. So we’ll do a little math this summer, and practice writing a few friendly letters.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who wants to tell discouraged parents and teachers everywhere that it’ll be okay. Because it will. Even if you have to pull out of the violin recital at the last minute.There will be another one.

Many of us sprint through life like the hare. We have things to do, do, do!  We dash off, frantic to get stuff done—thinking that by this method we will eventually cross whatever finish line we hold in mind.  When we begin to lose momentum, we fuel up mid-stream with a double shot of whatever and take off again, only to eventually nap under some short-of-the-finish line-tree.  The next morning we paw at the starting line and BANG!  Off we go again.

Let me translate this into real life. I’m a hare.  I’m eager and ready to dash out into the world each morning.  The results? My kids have an active life. Besides home schooling, we have horseback riding lessons, drama class, piano lessons, choir, writing co-op, gym class, and worship team.  Field trips are sprinkled in when something irresistible crops up like the maple syrup making, state capital day and civil war reenactment. No two days are alike as we hop, hop, hop around the extra-curricular landscape.

Then the turtle comes into view. Quite simply, the turtle represents getting to someplace specific. (In other words – the finish line.) As the hare dashes around and arguably has more fun, enjoys his natural talent and sees more of the countryside, he doesn’t accomplish the ultimate goal, which is important at times!

My discovery: When I want to teach my children a set of specific skills or work on a character issue, the turtle has the right moves.   My hare-like nature has been surprised to watch this principle work out.  When my daughter was struggling with long division, it became apparent she hadn’t mastered her math facts. Discouraged, I dashed down several fix-it roads, considering changing curriculum mid-stream. But then the turtle came into view.  I began to simply work with her for 5-10 minutes every day. I watched amazed as she progressed.  Slow and steady wins the race.

I began to apply this to other areas of my children’s lives. With achievement testing approaching, I felt certain we needed extra preparation. Bounding down the path of several complex history curricula, I quickly tired. Then the turtle came into view. I found a simple summary of what 5^th graders should know about history and I began to read to her every day for 10 minutes, asking comprehension questions as a review. Hardly thinking that 10 minutes was worth it, I watched in amazement as she made steady progress. With that success, I began to plot a daily course for character issues needing attention:  doing basic chores without complaint, talking kindly to siblings.  Slow and steady wins the race.

Who knew the deep truth the simple fable of The Tortoise and the Hare has been hiding all these years!  My new hero the Tortoise has shown me how to succeed where I so often have failed. A little every day gets one a long way over time. Slow and steady does win the race.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who knows that yes, hares also have their redeeming qualities, but that’s another blog!

We just got to the part in On the Banks of Plum Creek where Laura and Mary go to school for the first time. This time, Natalie was dumbfounded that Laura would have been slapped on the hands “many times” with a ruler if she had wiggled, swung her legs, or talked during school.

What a difference a 120 years makes! I’m so glad we live in a time where we know so much more about the brain, and how learning and moving go hand in hand.

Carla Hannaford (award winning author and eductor) writes, “Movement is essential to learning. Movement integrates and anchors new information into our neural networks. Every time we move in an organized…manner, full brain activation and integration occurs, and the door to learning opens.”

Combine movement, which fully activates the brain, and creates and strengthens neural networks, with music, which is the only activity that simultaneously stimulates every area of the brain, and you have a recipe for successful learning.

As a home schooling mom, here’s some things that we’ve done that combine music (or the components of music like rhythm and meter) that assist in learning. (You don’t have to home school to do these things. You are your child’s first and most important teacher!)

While singing learning songs or poems and chants, we have a small indoor trampoline for jumping on. (Trampolines are also great for getting up a taking a break. Jumping really seems to make the just inputted information stick in brains better.)

My children all sit on exercise balls. I’ve noticed that when new or more difficult concepts are being learned, their ability to sit still decreases. All that electrical energy in their brain is going towards creating new or stronger neural pathways.  An exercise ball allows them to have the movement they need, without being distracting, so that brain energy is spent focusing on learning, rather than using that brain power to sit quietly.  Another option is to put a balance disk on a chair and have them sit on that.

When learning to spell difficult words or skip count (counting by 2’s, 3’s, 5’s, etc.), we get up and bounce a ball back and forth, taking turns counting or giving the next letter in a word. The kids love it, and they learn faster and better.

Playing background music is great, too. One suggestion – during homework or school time, the best music to listen to has no words.

Be sure to give your children plenty of get up and play breaks to rest and refocus eyes, and allow the brain to process everything they just learned. Otherwise, the information really will be in one ear and out the other.

How do you integrate music, movement and learning into your family’s life or classroom?

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who loves that music not only helps shape growing minds, but transforms the heart and soul as well.

I was sitting in a class of Jr. Highers when I started thinking about dreams. An adult couple had brought in some examples of things they meant a lot to them. One was made by one of his sons who was about 11 years old. This particular item was a little figurine that was made out of household stuff; pipe cleaners, toilet paper rolls, googly eyeballs, felt and a hot glue gun. The figurine was skating on a skateboard and had shoes and hair and everything. I was totally impressed!

I could tell that a lot of man-hours had been put into this craft.  After getting over the initial awe, there were two things that struck me most. First, it was how the dad was talking about his son. He was so proud of what his son created by himself, with just time and things around the house.  It was really neat to see this dad speak aloud what made him proud!

The second thing that hit my core was how the son (who was in the group), was excited to share his creation with his peers.  He was not embarrassed in the least to show off his piece of work.

I grew up with a lot of shame in me. I was often embarrassed about what I was good at or not good at. I never had a problem with standing up in front of a ton of people and singing a solo, but put me in a small group and I was mortified by what people would think of me. I’m a people pleaser and that sometimes gets the best of me. It’s only been in recent years I will ‘own’ who I am. I’m learning to not be ashamed of what my interests are and I am free to share that with people instead of keeping it in.

So, how does this relate to dreams? Well, knowing where I have come from, I know that I want my son to be proud of who he is. Watching this 11 year old be so proud of what he created is what I want my son to have.  Putting myself as a peer to this 11 year old, I would have totally thought that he was weird; as an adult, this is what I so admire about this kid! He stuck to his guns when sharing his creation amongst his peers and had no shame or embarrassment about what he’d done. There was an innocence that surrounded him. THIS is what I want for my son!

It wasn’t until this meeting that I really started dreaming for Miles. Whether it is music, art, math, or science, it’s going to be from him and it’s going to be great! I am so excited to see what he will become and I know that I will be a proud mama when he shares with the world who he is!

I’d like to end on a quote I read not to long ago. I saw it on Pinterest and it’s really stuck with me. In the corner of the quote there is a picture of a mother cradling her baby… The mother says, “I plan to give you love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to make you funny.”

I know that I’m not going to be the perfect mom and I’m going to make mistakes. I’m human. I need to be able to give myself grace in this parenting process. I also know that my child will not be the best at everything J But what I will strive to do is to love and support my son in whatever dreams he may have.

-posted by Miss Anna, who hopes her son will discover this world through a child’s eye, always.

You see, my morning tea is supposed to be sipped slowly while sitting at the dining room table reading the celebrity gossip, err… news on my iPad. No rushing allowed. Without my tea, I was seriously out of sorts all morning long. (And it wasn’t the lack of caffeine; I only have one cup.)

If you’re not a morning beverage have-to drinker, perhaps you’ve sat down to watch your favorite TV show, and discovered it was on hiatus? Bet you turned into cranky pants. We grown-ups grow accustomed to our routines and rituals, and it can be aggravating and unsettling to be jolted out of them!

We’re born with a need for routine and ritual. Predictability is important to an infant, a toddler, a pre-schooler, a jr. higher, and adults. We like to know what comes next. It brings us comfort and security and makes us feel like we are in control of our circumstances.

Routines are the tasks or chores we regularly do. They are the typical or everyday activities that have little afterthought. Your workplace has a typical routine. (Think about what you do in your job, or what are the normal procedures you follow without really thinking about them.) I do laundry on Fridays, always lock the door when I leave the house, and start with long tones when I practice my Euphonium.

Your children need routines, too. In Kindermusik, we always start with the hello song and end with the goodbye song. Routines in the classroom allow children to feel safe and secure, and then learning can happen naturally.
Routines help babies solidify their eating and sleeping patters; routine transitions and rituals help preschoolers feel in control, and knowing what to expect enables them to act independently.

There is an interesting difference between routines and rituals. According to Stedman’s Medical Dictionary, a ritual is a detailed act or series of acts carried out by an individual to relieve anxiety or to forestall the development of anxiety.

That makes perfect sense. My morning tea ritual gives me a moment of peace before I enter the hectic pace of my day. It grounds me. The routine of the hello and goodbye song in a Kindermusik class becomes a ritual when we sing the same song each week. The familiarity and consistency of these songs lets the children know what’s coming, and so they eagerly ready themselves for fun and learning.

Rituals and routines shape a child’s behavior and development in a stable, secure and loving manner. Think bath time, cleanup time, bed time, family nights, Sunday morning waffles, summer vacations to the lake.  There is no shortage of research to suggest that routines and rituals are vitally important to the well-being and positive mental health of any child.

We can never underestimate the affect of the emotional imprint of loving routines and rituals in a child’s life, and the positive feelings they evoke in years to come. There is no shortage of research to suggest that routines and rituals are vitally important to the well-being and positive mental health of any child. What are some of your favorite memories of childhood? They likely involve a ritual or routine, which you may have repeated with your own family.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who now knows that her morning cup of tea is not really about the caffeine; it emotionally prepares her to face the day. So, drink up!

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Don’t believe that? Okay. Truth be told – I’m a teacher through and through. I strive to appreciate every child I work with, and if you ask me about your child, (as some of you have), I’m happy to give you my observations. I really do want you help you be successful in the art of parenting.

I can also share what I’ve learned about how to really get to know them. And why would you want to get to know them? Besides the obvious fact that you like your children, of course! Your children are born with unique personalities, skills, gifts, talents, learning styles, and characteristics. It’s our job as parents to support our children as they mature.

Understanding your child will assist you to guiding them as they grow. For instance, knowing your child’s learning style (In order to understand concepts, do they need to see it, hear it, or do it?) will tell you how to help them with learning to read, tell time, or grasp their addition facts.

Children arrive with some prewiring. I don’t mean that they can’t change and grow, but they aren’t blank slates, either. How my 3 children behaved in utero was how they acted after they arrived on the outside. One was a poker – he’s 13 and he still “pokes” at me verbally if he wants my attention. One was a roller – I looked like a pregnant Sigourney Weaver from the movie Alien. He still is a whole body mover. He needs to move to learn. He moves when things get emotionally difficult to deal with. He rolls on the floor a few times in the middle of a particularly intense violin lesson, and then gets up and is ready to work again. My two boys will always be pokers and rollers.

The best way to understand your children is to simply observe them. Playing, working, sleeping, eating. What are the character traits that continually show themselves? Are they introverted or extroverted? What are their favorite activities? Those things are your child’s “normal”. Most of the time, your child’s “normal” is perfectly okay. And you need to be okay with it, too.

You don’t like going to the zoo every weekend, but your daughter begs, rain or shine? Think about what clues that gives you. Nurture that love of nature. If you don’t want to go to the zoo again, find new museums, take a field trip to the vet’s office, check out library books about reptiles for your visual learner. Get a pet for your “doer” to take care of.

Want to get to know someone? Ask a lot of questions! So, ask your child open-ended questions. (Those questions that require more than a yes or no answer.) Instead of asking your child who they played with in school, ask them what they played.

Miss Allison (a great observer of children) gave me some more ideas to pass along to you:

When you read a book to them ask them what their favorite part was… who their favorite character was…

Have a verbal child tell you a story. You’ll discover a lot about what they think about, and feel, are scared of… wishing for…

Watch how they play with small pretend play manipulatives: people toys (like action figures and Polly Pocket type things) and anthropomorphized animal toys, too, plastic animals or dinosaurs, small stuffed animals. Large motor pretend play is usually done with other children, but small motor pretend play is often done alone, so you only see what your child is interested in rather than what they are willing to compromise on.

Pay attention to the skill sets that confuse them or make them frustrated. Those activities are pointing you toward the areas the child isn’t as comfortable with, may be stuck with, or toward personality traits such as perfectionist, or short tempered.

Make a point of playing with your child in different areas of development. Do a puzzle one day, take a nature hike the next. Ride bikes, or work on pedaling, build with blocks, color and do a craft, sing a song, tell a story so that you can see where your child is gifted, where they struggle and most importantly, where they are growing and where they are not growing.

With lots of observation and interaction, you’ll have the knowledge of what tools and toys to provide, to assist them in reaching their next level of maturity.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who sees so many of her sister’s and mother’s traits in her daughter that it’s more than a bit freaky.

Image: Naypong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

That first day of school was also a great big one!  Whether it was preschool, kindergarten, middle school, or high school, those first days all stand out in my mind.  I know that later, there will be some other big milestones like graduation, college, marriage and grandkids, but I was thinking that was all down the road a bit.

My two mustangs when I was growing up!

Well, imagine my surprise when I took him last month to his first day of driver’s training.  Wow!  That was another big milestone and I was not expecting it!  Practicing driving with Tyler has renewed my patience and understanding.  I very lucky that he has also been a cautious kid, so we aren’t talking about massive speeding or screeching around any corners.

He also has shown an interest in my car that I had when I was 16.  My dad gave me his ’64 ½ Mustang.  It is a beautiful car and I had a great time driving it.  But for now I think air bags, and shoulder seatbelts, AND seatbelts in the back are just a little more important than a teenage boy driving around a V8!

My point? Treasure all the milestones in your child’s life.  It goes by so quickly!

-posted by Miss Beth, who is more than happy to have a new chauffeur in the house!

The Nerds saw this and although they did not want to remove technology from Google Earth, decided to gift the cheerful citizens with interactive face-to-face play once again. Going back to their roots of hero feats, battle strategy and role playing, they created a realm of board games sure to bring eye contact and non-abbreviated conversations back to the dinner table. This created a faction within the Nerd classes. New Wave Nerds prefer technology where they can instantly +1 their friends or do status updates in all they do each day; but the Geeks remembered Friday nights with pizza and board games and cherished the laughter and original human interfacing….with no technology whatsoever.

If you are a Geek (or perhaps a closet Geek, don’t worry we won’t reveal your secret to your savvy Nerd friends), be sure to check out this website for Board Game Geeks. Many games featured come with familiar hardware like dice, cards you hold in your hand or flip over (also called card drafting in Geek Speak); and boards with pieces that move as the game progresses…and moved by your own gross motor movement, too! You can join blogs, create an account posting the Geekiest games you own sharing your own reviews and even search for a new and exciting game sure to please the whole family.

Stay tuned for the next episode where the Geeks go the battle and declare victory over many new board games that have emerged from the Austrian Board Game Academy.

-posted by Miss Jesikah, who is an old school fantasy Nerd and has always stayed true to her inner-Geek. She still does not have a phone that has apps! Imagine that

Image: Tina Phillips / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I ended up watching a lot of Netflix on my iPad. And by the time I graduated to the couch I was sick of Netflix definition of my genre of choice – “Witty period pieces with a strong female lead”.

So, on to documentaries.  I watched a Nat Geo series about the Amish. The Amish have always fascinated me; I don’t know why. I wish my husband could do wood working like that. But without having to grow a long beard and give up electricity and canning everything in sight. Never mind then. I’ll keep my IT-brilliant husband just the way he is.

Anyhoo… One show followed 5 Amish young people on a trip to the UK to stay with 4 families, each for a week during their Rumspringa. (Rumspringa, or “running around”, is the term used to describe the period of adolescence Amish experience starting at around age 16, before they make the decision whether or not to join the church, characterized by an increase in social activity, and leaving the “rules” behind in regards to behaviors like dress, alcohol, music, as they wish. They then give up their cars and Blackberrys and cigarettes when they choose to become baptized.)

I’m sure that’s not a complete answer; I just wanted you to know why Amish young people from the US could take a trip to the UK to stay with non-Amish, surf in the ocean, play electric guitars and go to a nightclub, all while being followed by a camera crew.

During the documentary, there was a girl in her early twenties that said something really profound. She and her family had left one of the strictest of Amish sects just the year before. (They choose to still live relatively simply and conservatively.) In their old way of life, there was no indoor plumbing, their clothing seams had to be sewn a particular manner, they could not plant flowers, and there was no history, geography or science taught in school, among a myriad of other rules.

She had never sung outside of church or made an art project. So at one house during their trip, the artist-daughter of the host family put a cup of acrylic paint mixed with glue in her hand, handed her a chopstick, and showed her how to drizzle this mixture onto paper and make a painting.

Just imagine making your first creative, beautiful thing at the age of 22. Something for which there was no right or wrong way to do it. This young woman’s face just lit up. Her countenance was alive and joyous, from the inside out. I think that by painting this picture, she experienced true freedom for the first time in her life. 

And then she said, “I think too many rules stifle creativity.” That’s profound. And relevant. Rules are good. Boundaries are important. But with too many, creativity can be stifled. As a mom and teacher, I need to protect my children from being stifled.

Sometimes that means protecting them from my silly rules. Will my Kindergartener fail to learn her math facts if I don’t demand she do the full 3 pages of math on my agenda, when she really wants to just draw and write a lot today? No, you shouldn’t make your own chocolate milk because you might make a mess. You can’t wear that. It doesn’t match. You’re wasting the glitter! Let me cut your meat for you. You don’t do it right.

Silly rules that stifle creativity? I hope not in my house anymore.  You want to compose your own piece of music on the violin and write it down? Go for it. You still have to practice your lesson music, but you can also spend as much time as you wish writing and playing “Land of Slowness”. (I kid you not, that’s the title.)

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who learned how to be a better parent after listening to the voice of reason coming from a most unexpected source.

In my final blog, I want to provide you with some words to use when you are working with the challenging behavior of children.

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Am I inspiring self-evaluation or dependence on the evaluation of others?
• Am I being respectful or patronizing?
• Am I helping them discover how to act or trying to manipulate their behavior?
• Am I seeing the child’s point of view or my own?
• Would I make this comment to a friend or neighbor?

 It is important to provide a connection before correction:

1. State clear expectations… “As soon as you finish, you may… ”
2. Respond with a question… “Would you like to do this by yourself, or do you want/need help?”
3. State a given (i.e. rule or condition)… “I can’t let you do that, those words are hurtful.” “The balls stay outside.” “It’s not time for that now. It’s ok to be disappointed.”
4. Check his/her understanding… “Tell me how we’re solving this problem.” “What’s the next step before we can… ”
5. Invite cooperation… “I need your help with this.”
6. Limit choices… “Would you like to put this away now or after dinner?”
7. Say what you want and mean… “I want you to use your body in a different way. That feels unsafe. Try this… ”
8. Negotiate an agreement… “I can’t let you do that, it hurts her body. But you can climb up this way.”
9. Use non-verbal language such as a hand on the shoulder or a secret nod.
10. Follow through… “Time to… now”. Be sure to follow through yourself. Don’t use the word “now” if you’ll get busy and forget to follow through.

Most of all, anticipate and be ok with mistakes. They are opportunities to learn. We all make them. Remember to recover from a mistake.

• Re-gather: Everyone has had ample time to calm down.
• Recognize: “Whoops, I made a mistake.”
• Reconcile: “I’m sorry.”
• Re-solve: “How can we work together to make it better?”

-posted  by Teacher Aaron, who wants to remind you to think about how these tactics work best for you and your family. Share them with your parenting partner and keep the discussion going!

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net