My sister finds it annoying. I find it hilarious. Of course, I’ve been-there done-that three times, and it’s been five years since one of mine played that game. Because I’m the auntie, I can call it cute and be glad I’m no longer scraping food off the walls.

What this all means is that 11 month old Macie has moved from the this-is-all-about-picking-things-up stage, to the what-will-happen-if-I, what-does-it-feel-like, what-noise-does-it-make stage.

But let’s back up a moment. I’ve got to get you caught up. These fine motor skills began at about 2 to 4 months of age, when she inaccurately swiped at objects. Sometime after 3 months, she could hold small objects in her hand, and within a couple of months, could transfer those objects between her hands. Between 5 and 9 months Macie could first rake at objects with her whole hand to pick them up, and then moved on to picking up small objects using her thumb and index finger. We call this a pincer grasp.

She’ll use this grasp to string beads, close a Ziploc bag, color, hold her glockenspiel mallets in Kindermusik Young Child, build Lego creations, and cut with scissors.

As Macie’s grasp became more precise, she explored objects by moving, twisting, turning and shaking them. Now at almost a year, she’s just about ready for my favorite classic of baby toys – the Tupperware shape sorter, which combines the rotating, moving and flipping skills she learned earlier, which a little cognitive thinking.

When she first learned to sit, Macie would prop herself up on one arm, and explore her playthings with one hand and her mouth. As she learned sit without help, both hands became free to be used to answer her questions about the shape, texture, size, hardness, and weight of objects. She’s using her mouth less (though a lot of children remain really oral for a couple of years, and that’s perfectly okay).

Which brings us back to the cup throwing. And the banging, shaking, squeezing, tapping, twisting and flinging. Is my sister annoyed? You betcha. Her living room floor currently looks like a tornado hit it. So does Macie’s room. And the dining room. And sometimes even the bathroom. (And even the hallway, which occasionally gets mummified by an unwound roll of toilet paper.

But rather than get angry when our babes make a mess, keep this in mind: You already know what a balloon does when you kick it, what noise a cup makes when you throw it, just how fast you can unwind toilet paper (and how long it is!), how scratchy brush bristles feel on your skin – but your little one doesn’t. Someone, long ago, let you taste, touch, feel and manipulate objects. And then helped you learn how to pick up your tornado.

­-posted by Miss Analiisa, who suggests you make an ever-changing sensory box filled with varied objects like a sponge, a wooden spoon, a rock, a piece of sandpaper, a feather duster, and egg shaker, a pan lid, a real flower, a jingle bell stick and a stuffed animal for you to explore together.

For a long time, dysgraphia wasn’t a recognized learning issue. Just read a few of the comments on any of the websites listed at the bottom and you’ll quickly see what I mean.  You’ll hear from adults who struggled through school and only later in life discovered they weren’t stupid or lazy. Good-hearted parents who have tried to decode the mystery of their smart non-writer lament and rejoice in the helpful diagnosis. Guilt-smothered parents who berated their kids for not doing what they couldn’t are out there too, guaranteed. It’s time for dysgraphia to come into the light.

The diagnosis for dysgraphia is, as with many learning disabilities, somewhat inexact. A “cluster of symptoms” identifies it. Here is a sampling of the list from Wikipedia: Dysgraphia: Signs and Symptoms:

• Cramping of fingers while writing short entries
• Odd wrist, arm, body, or paper orientations such as creating an L shape with your arm
• Excessive erasures
• Mixed upper case and lower case letters
• Inconsistent form and size of letters, or unfinished letters
• Misuse of lines and margins
• Inefficient speed of copying
• Inattentiveness over details when writing
• Frequent need of verbal cues
• Referring heavily on vision to write
• Poor legibility
• Handwriting abilities that may interfere with spelling and written composition
• Having a hard time translating ideas to writing, sometimes using the wrong words altogether
• May feel pain while writing

Writing is a complex set of motor and information processing skills. Breakdowns can occur on several levels. Three identified subtypes are: Dyslexic & Spatial which are brain-based issues. Motor which is caused by fine motor problems.

Dyslexic:  Children’s spontaneous writing is illegible.  Copy work is fairly good, but spelling is bad. Not thought to be fine motor based problem.

Spatial: Illegible spontaneous writing and copy work, but normal spelling. Not thought to be fine motor based.

Motor:  Fine motor skills are deficient. They have poor dexterity, weak muscle tone or clumsiness. Writing requires extreme effort and an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish. Writing is poor, often illegible. They have difficulty drawing.  Their oral spelling is normal. Often they hold their pencil in an awkward manner.

The bright side of a diagnosis of dysgraphia may well be the emotional relief and redirection of correction in a positive direction. Stress was listed as a main negative side effect of the disorder. Can you imagine the frustration of not being able move a thought from head to hand to paper?  Assigning correct meaning helps the patient and parent know how to proceed.

Intervention for dysgraphia is better when started younger. Dianne Craft, an expert in treating “learning glitches” as she calls them, has a website and treatment program for a variety of learning disabilities affecting children, including dysgraphia. Exercises include retraining the brain through copy work and gross motor activities. She identifies dysgraphia as the most common learning block of gifted children and offers many resources for helping children move beyond the disability.

When therapy is given the college try and is clearly not helping, “accommodation” is recommended. Helping children live with dysgraphia often includes teaching cursive as it can be easier letter formation than printing.  Early keyboard training can help diminish frustration, however giving up on handwriting is not recommended. Public schools are able or sometime required to offer diagnosed children therapy or appropriate classroom help, such as a keyboard, or note-taker or alternate testing methods.

Check out these websites for more information:

ncld.org: National Center for Learning Disabilities

Nototherwisespecified.typepad.com: Sara Gardner’s blog (mother of a child with dysgraphia)

Diannecraft.org: Expert in treating childhood learning “glitches.”

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who hopes that this blog will get some frustrated children the help they need to succeed.

Don’t believe that? Okay. Truth be told – I’m a teacher through and through. I strive to appreciate every child I work with, and if you ask me about your child, (as some of you have), I’m happy to give you my observations. I really do want you help you be successful in the art of parenting.

I can also share what I’ve learned about how to really get to know them. And why would you want to get to know them? Besides the obvious fact that you like your children, of course! Your children are born with unique personalities, skills, gifts, talents, learning styles, and characteristics. It’s our job as parents to support our children as they mature.

Understanding your child will assist you to guiding them as they grow. For instance, knowing your child’s learning style (In order to understand concepts, do they need to see it, hear it, or do it?) will tell you how to help them with learning to read, tell time, or grasp their addition facts.

Children arrive with some prewiring. I don’t mean that they can’t change and grow, but they aren’t blank slates, either. How my 3 children behaved in utero was how they acted after they arrived on the outside. One was a poker – he’s 13 and he still “pokes” at me verbally if he wants my attention. One was a roller – I looked like a pregnant Sigourney Weaver from the movie Alien. He still is a whole body mover. He needs to move to learn. He moves when things get emotionally difficult to deal with. He rolls on the floor a few times in the middle of a particularly intense violin lesson, and then gets up and is ready to work again. My two boys will always be pokers and rollers.

The best way to understand your children is to simply observe them. Playing, working, sleeping, eating. What are the character traits that continually show themselves? Are they introverted or extroverted? What are their favorite activities? Those things are your child’s “normal”. Most of the time, your child’s “normal” is perfectly okay. And you need to be okay with it, too.

You don’t like going to the zoo every weekend, but your daughter begs, rain or shine? Think about what clues that gives you. Nurture that love of nature. If you don’t want to go to the zoo again, find new museums, take a field trip to the vet’s office, check out library books about reptiles for your visual learner. Get a pet for your “doer” to take care of.

Want to get to know someone? Ask a lot of questions! So, ask your child open-ended questions. (Those questions that require more than a yes or no answer.) Instead of asking your child who they played with in school, ask them what they played.

Miss Allison (a great observer of children) gave me some more ideas to pass along to you:

When you read a book to them ask them what their favorite part was… who their favorite character was…

Have a verbal child tell you a story. You’ll discover a lot about what they think about, and feel, are scared of… wishing for…

Watch how they play with small pretend play manipulatives: people toys (like action figures and Polly Pocket type things) and anthropomorphized animal toys, too, plastic animals or dinosaurs, small stuffed animals. Large motor pretend play is usually done with other children, but small motor pretend play is often done alone, so you only see what your child is interested in rather than what they are willing to compromise on.

Pay attention to the skill sets that confuse them or make them frustrated. Those activities are pointing you toward the areas the child isn’t as comfortable with, may be stuck with, or toward personality traits such as perfectionist, or short tempered.

Make a point of playing with your child in different areas of development. Do a puzzle one day, take a nature hike the next. Ride bikes, or work on pedaling, build with blocks, color and do a craft, sing a song, tell a story so that you can see where your child is gifted, where they struggle and most importantly, where they are growing and where they are not growing.

With lots of observation and interaction, you’ll have the knowledge of what tools and toys to provide, to assist them in reaching their next level of maturity.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who sees so many of her sister’s and mother’s traits in her daughter that it’s more than a bit freaky.

Image: Naypong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There are two parts to self-control. The first is inhibitory control, which is the ability to stop what you are doing and wait. (The other part is impulse control, which is the ability to stop an idea or thought from becoming an action.) But as inhibitory control develops first, we’ll begin there.

In class, we’ve been playing with a chant called Giddy Up Horsey. You can do this at home, too. Put your child on your lap on the floor, and say this chant and as you bounce:

Giddy up horsey, giddy up horsey, giddy up horsey, go, go, go! Bounce your child up and down.

Giddy, up horsey, giddy up horsey, giddy up horsey WHOA!! When you get to the whoa, stop bouncing, and lean back with your child and stop. Wait quietly for a moment. Keep repeating the whole thing until the giggles subside.

Then in class, we’ve been getting up and riding stick horses around to the same chant, stopping our ponies and waiting to be told to “go” again, (the inhibitory control part) after the whoa.

Miss Allison had an interesting observation this week. She said that because the grownups were in charge of the child’s body during the bounce, they were showing the children how to control their bodies (how to stop at the appropriate time). The grownups were teaching the children the pattern and the how of the going, stopping, and waiting.

When the children got up on the stick horses, they were more ready and able to control their own bodies. They were familiar with the pattern, and could anticipate the whoa. Miss Allison said that in classes that did the bounce first, before the pony riding, the children had a much higher success rate of demonstrating inhibitory control when in charge of their bodies during the pony ride, than the ones who just did the ride.

That fits with what we always say – You are your child’s first and best teacher.

So, do a little bouncing this week. And keep your eye on the blog. I’ve got an idea about how to make a really adorable stick pony to practice the riding and stopping and waiting (cleverly disguised inhibitory control practice). I just need to get the idea out of my head and take some pictures of the process. I promise – under $5 and NO sewing!

Oh, I almost forgot. For a fun stop and go game at home or in the car, check out this cute idea.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who will practice some pony riding every time she’s having difficulty practicing either inhibitory or impulse control around that Godiva sea salt dark chocolate.

In fact, as I write this, I am sitting here doing my best to force motivate my violin player through his practice.  It’s not always easy. He’d rather be playing Xbox, or tug-a-war with his dog, or making up stories with his Halo Megabloks – anything but practicing. (Except, well, taking a shower and washing his hair, of course.)

But I know something he doesn’t. Finnish researchers (Did you know my maiden name was Koivisto? Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I like these scientists so much) have just developed a new method that shows the wide neural networks (including motor, emotions and creativity) that become activated all over the brain as music is listened to. Now scientists have an even better way to understand how music affects us.

Just like eating your vegetables and fish and getting enough vitamin D have a profound impact on my children’s physical health and development, regular music lessons/classes from an early age increases my children’s ability to learn. That’s a scientific fact, not just my opinion.

Here are a few examples of how scientists and researches believe music helps the brain:

• Studies have shown that music lessons/classes assist the brain to process sounds more efficiently. This means that when your child is trying to stay focused on reading a history text in a noisy classroom, he or she will have an easier time concentrating than a non lesson taker.
• Fast forward to a grown up job in one of those tiny cubicles. Multi-tasking and concentrating in a busy, loud office is an essential skill, one your violin player is much more likely to have.
• One researcher has found that the silence between two musical notes triggers the brain cells and neurons, which are responsible for the development of sharp memory.
• Other studies demonstrate that children who undergo musical training have a better verbal recall than those who have none. The amount of information that can be recalled increases the longer their period of musical training.
• Learning a second language is mandatory for high school graduation. Musicians are much better than non musicians at discerning the subtleties in pitch in foreign languages. This is especially helpful for tonal languages, like Mandarin.
• Coordination and concentration are also improved when a child takes instrument lessons. Think about what a flute player does all at the same time – moves both hands, reads music, listens to the players around him, watches the conductor – that’s a lot to coordinate!
• We know that music stimulates the areas of the brain that are responsible for planning and analyzing, thereby improving your organizational skills and making you more capable of handling math, reasoning and other cognitive tasks.
• And I think most importantly, when a child masters a piece of music or a difficult technique, it provides a sense of accomplishment, and gives a boost in confidence that spills over into all areas of life and produces a desire to tackle more challenges.

I want my children to grow up and have a good work ethic, an eagerness to try new things, the ability to reason and think, and the confidence that they can successfully navigate life.  The music they participate in now will help them accomplish just that.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who is going to make salmon burgers tomorrow night for dinner. After she wrestles her violin-playing 9 year old into the shower in the morning.

The special thing about this book is that it has excerpts from real moms who documented how they were feeling week by week as their baby was growing. They would also document what their babies were doing as the weeks were going by as well. Again, for me, this was reassurance to know that each baby has different temperaments and is going to grow differently.

Miles at 5 weeks.

Here’s an example: I remember when Miles hit the 5 week mark. He was very fussy and it was very hard to get him to sleep. He would put up the greatest fight to go down and sometime he never made it down. He just cried the whole time until his next feeding.

This is when I picked up The Wonder Weeks and started reading as fast as I could! Well, wouldn’t you know, 5 weeks is when babies have their first fussy time, which leads into a ‘magical leap forward’.

After we made it through the 5^th week, both my husband and I realized that Miles was actually responding to music and he was starting to notice and play with his hands! He had started showing off his new skills that he was processing through during his fussy time.  What a pleasure to be able to watch and participate in his learning.  We were able to enjoy this because we knew what to expect.

Another thing that has been helpful about  The Wonder Weeks, is that there is a graph in the beginning of the book that charts out predicted fussy times. I’m a visual person, so this is very nice. I can quickly flip to this chart and see where Miles fits age-wise and see if he is in a sunny period (his personality is shining through) or a stormy period (more fussy than normal).

Here is one last example: Miles has been really cranky lately. I’ve stopped telling people how many weeks he is because I just can’t keep track. So, when people ask how old he is I’ll say 3 ½ months instead of weeks. But because he has been so cranky lately, I decided to count the weeks and check the chart in this book. Sure enough, Miles is in a stormy period and things are changing.

Miles has been very testy when it comes to sleeping. He has been having a really hard time going down and we can’t figure it out. He also doesn’t like my husband putting him down. He will cry and cry and cry with Casey, but then I’ll take him and he’ll quiet right down. This process has been really rough for both Casey and I because Casey feels rejected and I feel like I don’t get a break.

Miles at 17 weeks.

After counting how many weeks old Miles is, 17 weeks, he falls smack in the middle of a fussy time. I should’ve known! So, I just opened the book to refresh my memory about some of the changes that are going to be happening to Miles and about every description in the book is exactly what Miles is going through. Trouble sleeping, being cranky, shyness of strangers, entertaining him while he is awake; all of these things are written in this book and documented by the Moms who participated in journaling what their child was doing during this time. Talk about not feeling alone!

I am so grateful for this book, The Wonder Weeks. It has helped me a lot with being patient with my baby and myself. It will be a go-to book for me as Miles grows and gets older.

-posted by Miss Anna, who will be recommending this book to every Mom that she knows, and thinks that if you get the chance, you should check it out.

People have recommended books galore for us to read, Baby Wise, The Baby Whisperer, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Happiest Baby On The Block and the list goes on.  Being the new mom that I am, I figured that I should start reading up on some of these so I can know what I’m doing, right?

Newborn Miles (before the fussies start)

Well, I remember my second day alone with Miles and my mom had said she was headed over to help and hang out. As soon as she opened the door to our apartment, I burst into tears! It had been an awful day the day before and a really tough night. I was so ready for some reinforcements by the dawn’s early light!

While being able to process out loud some of my thoughts, I realized that I was carrying a ton of weight on my shoulders about how Miles should conduct his days and nights. All of these books were telling me how to do things and I was thought that I was gleaning from all of them. I would read a book and then try to put into practice what they had ‘suggested’.

Finally, I realized that my sweet baby boy did not fit into any book! He is his own little person and he has to figure out a schedule of his own. His tummy will tell him when he is hungry and his eyes will tell him when he is tired.  And as for being a mom, I had to trust my instincts and listen to my baby.  So, I returned all the books to the various friends and libraries and set out on my own to figure this new thing out!

With all of this new information being thrown my way, I did retain some. One book, however, I pick up and read as Miles grows. This book is called The Wonder Weeks. I have to say, this book is such a lifesaver to me! If anything, this book gives me peace of mind that whenever I couldn’t and can’t figure out what is going on with my new little one, he is more than likely growing. And with that, comes a whole bunch of changes in behavioral patterns.

This book covers the 10 fussiest phases in a baby’s first year and a half. Through these fussy phases come wonderful leaps forward in a baby’s development. He learns new skills through these fussy times and is proud to show them when they are through the storm.

If anything, this book taught me to let go of having control. To know that if Miles is in a proven ‘fussy time’, that his normal day to day patterns might be a little off. So if he wants to eat every 2 hours and sleep for 4, it’s ok. If he is staying awake for 3 hours at a time, it’s ok. If he is crying and clinging to me, it’s ok (even if I’m totally annoyed with this!).

-posted by Miss Anna, who will tell you the rest of the story (aka “magical leaps forward”) tomorrow.

What happens if you don’t work out your grownup body? You know the answer to that. But do you know what could happen if your child doesn’t work out those 11 muscles and their lungs? Their breath control will be affected. Why is that a big deal?

Breath control is directly related to the ability to speak, sing, or read a complete sentence.  Poor breathing (mouth breathing or shallow breathing) can cause high blood pressure. Optimal breathing helps promote weight loss, as oxygen burns fat and calories. (Maybe that one is more for the grownups!)

Breathing well is the key to sleeping well and waking rested. Breathing provides 99% of your energy. When playing a wind instrument, a good tone is almost entirely dependent of good breath control, although a good instrument helps!

Only one third of lung capacity is used in normal breathing. Think about the Swiss freediver who held his breath underwater for 19 minutes and 21 seconds! I’ll bet he was using his full lung capacity.

Now that you understand that you need good breath control, here are a couple of ways to promote it with your preschooler this week.

Straw Painting

I was going to do a whole picture/explanation thing here, but I found a craft blog that did it beautifully, and who doesn’t like a linkback? So, here you go. Tons of fun. And I think that you grownups should try it, too. I’m going to.

Slide Whistle Play

1. If you have a Kindermusik Imagine That student at home (and you have a preschooler, you really should have them in Imagine That – shameless plug, here), then pull out your slide whistle. (Or, get thee a slide whistle if you don’t! Either plastic or metal works great.)
2. Learn the song Windy Weather. It’s #14 on your See What I Saw Home CD 2. Or, download it here. (But you really should be enrolled in class…)
3. Now, sing the song, rather than playing the music. That will allow you to control the tempo and change the words.
4. Start with the slide all of the way pulled out. Sing “Windy weather, windy weather, when the wind blows…” Then blow into the slide whistle, as you push the slide up.
5. Now change the last words to “We all fall down together.” Then blow into the slide whistle as you pull the slide down.
6. Now sing it slowly, sing it fast, sing it quietly, sing it loud. The loud and slow versions are where breath control really comes into play. You have to control your breathing by letting out a little air at a time, in order to make it through the louder blow, or the slower pull on the slide.

Now for a little bit of inspiration. Think that slide whistle is not a “real instrument”? Just watch Tom Goslin (a professional guitar player who is well known in the pit orchestra world) perform the Allegro from Sonata in C major for viola da gamba and Continuo by Carl Frederic Abel. (He played cello and viola in Bach’s court orchestra. Abel, I mean. Not Goslin.) You guessed it – on slide whistle.

-posted by Miss Analiisa, whose hero (because she’s a low brass player), is Arnold Jacobs, the one-lunged tuba player, who was the principle tubist for the Chicago Symphony Orchestra for 44 years, and not surprisingly, was an expert on breath control.

Image: Worakit Sirijinda / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There are two kinds of steady beat. The first is internal, which is unique to every person. You are born with your own inner tempo. Think about yourself – how fast does your “clock” tick? Do you walk fast, talk fast, expect quick results? Get frustrated when everything or everyone else can’t keep up? Your internal tempo is probably allegro!

My 9 year old son’s internal beat is much slower than mine. He needs to process and “cook” information. As a Suzuki violin momma, I have to participate in his practice. After 2 years, he finally said, “You’re going too fast. You’re confusing me. It’s too much information at once.” If only I had recognized that before. If I continue to coach him at my pace, I’m going to frustrate him, and he’ll probably end up hating violin. Practice is now relatively easy on both of us.

Faster internal steady beats don’t equal brighter children; my easy-going middle child is just as smart as my speedy 12 year old.  They just both like the information presented to them at a tempo that matches what is going on inside. If I keep that in mind, I’ll be a better parent.

We cannot change an internal working tempo. It’s yours for life. We can, however, teach children to be flexible to match an external steady beat with the activity they are doing. Why do we do this? You don’t want to cut out a delicate paper snowflake at 90 miles an hour! Nor do you want a slow tempo child to read at a snail’s pace.

Babies come ready made with their own internal steady beat. Sometimes in class, a song will play that is pretty close to their own tempo. Then that baby will tap his drum right in time to the music, and all the grownups in class will ooohh and aaahh at this little musical genius!

It isn’t usually until they reach age 3 or so that they begin to be able to match an external source of steady beat, such as playing instruments to a song, or marching. And we don’t really expect consistent beat matching to occur until between Kindergarten and 2^nd grade.

But because the ability to match a steady beat is so vital to success in many other skills, we do start steady beat practice from the very earliest Kindermusik class – Village. You can practice at home, too. Here are some fun ideas to try:

For babies and toddlers: To help these little ones to feel an external steady beat, use their bodies. Put your child on your lap and steadily chant a nursery rhyme, or sing a simple song. Bounce your child up and down, keeping the tempo consistent.

For preschoolers: Hold hands, a rope, a stretchy band or a large scarf between you. Sing a song your child knows (so she doesn’t have to think about the words) and sway or rock back and forth together. You can change the tempo every couple of repeats.

For young schoolchildren: Put on one of your Kindermusik Young Child CD’s or their current musical favorite. Music that changes tempo is especially good, so try some classical music. Give your child a big sheet of paper and some markers or crayons. Have your child draw (lines, dots, circles, squiggles, etc.) to the tempo of the music. Ask questions like: “What does this slow music look like?”

There are lots of fun ways to practice matching an external steady beat. I’m sure you’ll get creative!

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who is determined to workout her internal speedy steady beat muscles by learning to slow down and rest. Actually rest. Stop doing things. Stop thinking. Breathe deep.

What is Your Child Afraid of?

Diagnosing the cause of your child’s fear is the first step to helping you figure out how to help them overcome their fear of water.

Parents identified many sources for their children’s fear of swimming.  Many kids dislike the feeling of water on their faces.  Swimming at a crowded noisy pool may cause fear more related to the mayhem than the water.  Lakes can seem scary to some kids because they can’t see to the bottom or they seem frighteningly large. One mom reported that as a child she felt like the lake might swallow her alive.

A bad water experience that causes a child to panic can cause a normally happy swimmer to become fearful for a time.  Or a harsh life guard or swim teacher can also have a negative impact. Ear aches and other physical issues may affect a child’s feelings about water. Because of allergies and asthma, I was congested most of my childhood, which affected my ability to catch a good breath on land, let alone in the water. While I loved playing in the water, the swimming strokes were difficult and scary for me.

Successful Get Wet Ideas

Figuring out what is hindering your child’s experience with water will help you decide what might help her overcome her fear.  Parents reported making progress with the following ideas:

Goggles:  Most kids seem to enjoy swim goggles, but goggles may be especially important for some—allowing them to get their faces wet, but not all wet. Different styles of goggles cover just the eyes or half of the face.

Private swim lessons:  For reluctant swimmers, the one-on-one teaching of private lessons may help by cutting out the multi-kid splashing and chaos in the pool and allowing for specialized instruction.

Group swim lessons:  For some kids, peer pressure is the necessary force which nudges them to conquer their fears.  As they watch kids their age swim, their desire to fit in becomes stronger than the anxiety holding them poolside.  Splash! In they go to join their pack.

Lake swimming:  With its sloped entry, one mom found that her timid daughter was more willing to go in the lake because she perceived the exit route was more accessible than the all-or-nothing pool ladder.  Going into the water little by little helped her conquer her fear an inch at a time. Today many public pools have shore-like entry too.

Play distraction:  Squirting toys, cups, buckets, diving rings or torpedoes, balls, boats; Toys can provide a distraction from water fear.  When fun is happening, kids want to join in.  For little children, sitting at the edge of the pool or lake and playing splashing games can help them acclimate to the feeling and fun of water.  Friends who are strong swimmers are good role models for water enjoyment. One of the biggest motivators is the invitation to join YOU to play in the water.

Patient Parents Succeed

It’s tough to be patient when we know how much fun our kids will have once they take the dive.  We want them to get over it NOW—because often their fear is holding us or the family back from fun.  Or we’re very anxious for them to swim because of our fear for their safety around water. But patience pays off.  Over and over again parents wrote that patience and persistence was the key to success in getting kids over their hydro-fear.

I still can recall the frustration of paying for swim lessons which my preschool daughter boycotted.  No amount of cajoling, bribing or firmly exhorting helped—until SHE decided she was ready to participate. And now that I’ve done this research, I realize that my introvert daughter was likely more reluctant to join a strange crowd than to get into the water.  After days of skirting the edge of the pool with the instructor sweet talking her, trust was finally established and my daughter happily splashed in!

According to many wise parents whose stories I read, children of every age with every type of fear eventually learned to swim.  The common denominator was that their parents didn’t give up, even if it took several summers of creativity and multiple approaches. They adjusted their expectations and adapted to their child’s needs—no matter what it took.

So that’s the bottom line:  If you lovingly, patiently, persistently keep at it, your child WILL learn to swim.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who is dedicating this blog to the indefatigable mom whose child finally learned to swim at 12 years old!  Good Job!