Because the season for summer swim lessons is here, I’ve been reading up on kids’ fear of swimming lately. Most of us have either parented a hesitant swimmer or sympathetically watched the strugglers at the pool or lake. In my research, I found lots of wisdom from experienced parents whose children have finally overcome their fears. If you’re in the throes of this frustration with your child, get ready to be encouraged!
What is Your Child Afraid of?
Diagnosing the cause of your child’s fear is the first step to helping you figure out how to help them overcome their fear of water.
Parents identified many sources for their children’s fear of swimming. Many kids dislike the feeling of water on their faces. Swimming at a crowded noisy pool may cause fear more related to the mayhem than the water. Lakes can seem scary to some kids because they can’t see to the bottom or they seem frighteningly large. One mom reported that as a child she felt like the lake might swallow her alive.
A bad water experience that causes a child to panic can cause a normally happy swimmer to become fearful for a time. Or a harsh life guard or swim teacher can also have a negative impact. Ear aches and other physical issues may affect a child’s feelings about water. Because of allergies and asthma, I was congested most of my childhood, which affected my ability to catch a good breath on land, let alone in the water. While I loved playing in the water, the swimming strokes were difficult and scary for me.
Successful Get Wet Ideas
Figuring out what is hindering your child’s experience with water will help you decide what might help her overcome her fear. Parents reported making progress with the following ideas:
Goggles: Most kids seem to enjoy swim goggles, but goggles may be especially important for some—allowing them to get their faces wet, but not all wet. Different styles of goggles cover just the eyes or half of the face.
Private swim lessons: For reluctant swimmers, the one-on-one teaching of private lessons may help by cutting out the multi-kid splashing and chaos in the pool and allowing for specialized instruction.
Group swim lessons: For some kids, peer pressure is the necessary force which nudges them to conquer their fears. As they watch kids their age swim, their desire to fit in becomes stronger than the anxiety holding them poolside. Splash! In they go to join their pack.
Lake swimming: With its sloped entry, one mom found that her timid daughter was more willing to go in the lake because she perceived the exit route was more accessible than the all-or-nothing pool ladder. Going into the water little by little helped her conquer her fear an inch at a time. Today many public pools have shore-like entry too.
Play distraction: Squirting toys, cups, buckets, diving rings or torpedoes, balls, boats; Toys can provide a distraction from water fear. When fun is happening, kids want to join in. For little children, sitting at the edge of the pool or lake and playing splashing games can help them acclimate to the feeling and fun of water. Friends who are strong swimmers are good role models for water enjoyment. One of the biggest motivators is the invitation to join YOU to play in the water.
Patient Parents Succeed
It’s tough to be patient when we know how much fun our kids will have once they take the dive. We want them to get over it NOW—because often their fear is holding us or the family back from fun. Or we’re very anxious for them to swim because of our fear for their safety around water. But patience pays off. Over and over again parents wrote that patience and persistence was the key to success in getting kids over their hydro-fear.
I still can recall the frustration of paying for swim lessons which my preschool daughter boycotted. No amount of cajoling, bribing or firmly exhorting helped—until SHE decided she was ready to participate. And now that I’ve done this research, I realize that my introvert daughter was likely more reluctant to join a strange crowd than to get into the water. After days of skirting the edge of the pool with the instructor sweet talking her, trust was finally established and my daughter happily splashed in!
According to many wise parents whose stories I read, children of every age with every type of fear eventually learned to swim. The common denominator was that their parents didn’t give up, even if it took several summers of creativity and multiple approaches. They adjusted their expectations and adapted to their child’s needs—no matter what it took.
So that’s the bottom line: If you lovingly, patiently, persistently keep at it, your child WILL learn to swim.
-posted by Donna Detweiler, who is dedicating this blog to the indefatigable mom whose child finally learned to swim at 12 years old! Good Job!
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