A couple of days ago, I woke up late and had to rush out the door. My husband kindly offered to make me my usual cup of tea. (He’s the coffee drinker, me – Stash Double Bergamot Earl Grey with stevia and half and half, thank you very much.) I was horrified at the thought of having to chug my tea down before I left, so I declined.
You see, my morning tea is supposed to be sipped slowly while sitting at the dining room table reading the celebrity gossip, err… news on my iPad. No rushing allowed. Without my tea, I was seriously out of sorts all morning long. (And it wasn’t the lack of caffeine; I only have one cup.)
If you’re not a morning beverage have-to drinker, perhaps you’ve sat down to watch your favorite TV show, and discovered it was on hiatus? Bet you turned into cranky pants. We grown-ups grow accustomed to our routines and rituals, and it can be aggravating and unsettling to be jolted out of them!
We’re born with a need for routine and ritual. Predictability is important to an infant, a toddler, a pre-schooler, a jr. higher, and adults. We like to know what comes next. It brings us comfort and security and makes us feel like we are in control of our circumstances.
Routines are the tasks or chores we regularly do. They are the typical or everyday activities that have little afterthought. Your workplace has a typical routine. (Think about what you do in your job, or what are the normal procedures you follow without really thinking about them.) I do laundry on Fridays, always lock the door when I leave the house, and start with long tones when I practice my Euphonium.
Your children need routines, too. In Kindermusik, we always start with the hello song and end with the goodbye song. Routines in the classroom allow children to feel safe and secure, and then learning can happen naturally.
Routines help babies solidify their eating and sleeping patters; routine transitions and rituals help preschoolers feel in control, and knowing what to expect enables them to act independently.
There is an interesting difference between routines and rituals. According to Stedman’s Medical Dictionary, a ritual is a detailed act or series of acts carried out by an individual to relieve anxiety or to forestall the development of anxiety.
That makes perfect sense. My morning tea ritual gives me a moment of peace before I enter the hectic pace of my day. It grounds me. The routine of the hello and goodbye song in a Kindermusik class becomes a ritual when we sing the same song each week. The familiarity and consistency of these songs lets the children know what’s coming, and so they eagerly ready themselves for fun and learning.
Rituals and routines shape a child’s behavior and development in a stable, secure and loving manner. Think bath time, cleanup time, bed time, family nights, Sunday morning waffles, summer vacations to the lake. There is no shortage of research to suggest that routines and rituals are vitally important to the well-being and positive mental health of any child.
We can never underestimate the affect of the emotional imprint of loving routines and rituals in a child’s life, and the positive feelings they evoke in years to come. There is no shortage of research to suggest that routines and rituals are vitally important to the well-being and positive mental health of any child. What are some of your favorite memories of childhood? They likely involve a ritual or routine, which you may have repeated with your own family.
-posted by Miss Analiisa, who now knows that her morning cup of tea is not really about the caffeine; it emotionally prepares her to face the day. So, drink up!
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